The Shy Shark-toothed High School Tomboy with Resting Bitch Face

That… could’ve been shorter

Stop me if this sounds familiar in, not just animanga, but in media on the whole. A short guy way in over his head takes chances with the taller, at times stoic or stoic-presenting girl. By way of his bumbling charm, he wears her down and she agrees to one date. Turns out shortman is a charmer beyond all and the two are an item. Maybe they have a family and live on a tropical island with a talking turtle.

Admittedly, she made the first move, but Krillin won out in the end, so why split the hairs that Krillin has now been able to grow out?

Even if you weren’t thinking about a specific pairing, you may have seen it enough times to consider its frequency in media. I definitely have… if only just now. There’s quite a few of these in the trope that come to mind right now

  • Fix-it Felix and Sgt. Calhoun from Wreck-it Ralph: aside from the villain walking away from villainy, the protagonist finds his way into the arms of a top soldier woman, and by the end of the movie, he’s her groom.
  • Krillin and 18: the very picture above clearly didn’t happen overnight. Being the last one left standing when the remaining Z fighters were pummeled by Gero’s Androids, 18 was the one to proposition Krillin with a kiss on the cheek, when she was strong enough to fold Vegeta like a gyoza while 17 punched Piccolo’s and Tien’s spines out. Why the short bald one of all people? Perhaps Toriyama was feeling merciful on our favorite monk.
  • Mario and Peach: there’s probably better couples from the Nintendo Universe, but going to what’s easy, the Italian plumber working in Brooklyn gets suckered into a strange world where mushrooms are enemies, flowers let you throw fireballs, and a giant firebreathing turtle kidnaps a princess. Doing this for over 40 years (happy anniversary, Mario!!), I doubt they’re the progenitors of the trope, but they’re an early example, or at least Mario is from the Donkey Kong days.

And now the subject of this week’s post: Hitomi-chan is Shy with Strangers

Japanese name: Hitomi-chan wa Hito Mishiri

The plot of this manga is that a second-year high school student, Yuu Usami, is taking a train to school and gets the most menacing glare from a scary looking taller girl. He figures out pretty quickly that that’s just her default face (many such cases), and noticing that he’s wearing the same uniform as her, once Usami gets off the train, the girl follows him. He’s expecting some kind of beat down, but she simply walks over to him, looks him straight in the eye… and asks for directions to the high school, seeing as she’s a new student and first year. She eventually introduces herself as Hitomi Takano.

Sounds awkward in retrospect, doesn’t it? Cold hard truth, I relate to this very much. I’ve been the shy guy and the introvert involuntarily adopted by the boisterous extroverts who have attention at their beck and call. The shy part is getting someone’s attention, whether they’re with someone or not — and the introvert part is choosing to be in another world than with people on average. Not like it’s hard for me to make friends; I do, but there’s only so much I can take before I feel like I ran from the southernmost part of Chile to the Aleutian Island chain. Those of you who absorb geography like Galactus the Planet Eater know what that means. Those who need that spelled out, over 9800 miles/15,800 kilometers.

An exaggeration, sure, but it feels like this sometimes. This feature of Hitomi-chan is the most consistent aspect of the whole manga from start to finish, but overtime she gradually opens up. Originally, Hitomi only talked to Yuu, but then she met his sister, some delinquent girls, an American exchange student (because the good old red, white and blue needs to make a presence in animanga somewhere), and even introduces these lot to her older brother and little cousin.

Seems even growing up with siblings can make you deathly shy, though Hinata Hyuga knows this by heart.

For that matter, tall girl short guy trope also meets gentle giant(ess) trope seeing as she’s quite harmless. She’s a kind girl who hates resorting to violence, but her height (6’1″/185.4 cm), and her intimidating face at rest would usually be enough to scare someone straight, such as her first introduction to the delinquent girls who later became her best of friends.

If you’re drawing comparisons between this and Komi Can’t Communicate, I haven’t seen or read that series, but from those who have, they claim that her “shyness” is more selective mutism, and there’s this reddit post that claims, she’s a silent extrovert more so than an introvert, and the premise of the series confirms that long before you read the first chapter. Wants to have a hundred friends, lacks the natural charisma necessary. Fortunately, she at least does things the old fashioned way unlike some others:

Some artists pair her with Konata Izumi to contrast their personalities as otaku, and I say it works.

Does the series suffer from any flaws? What series isn’t flawed? Even my beloved Max Payne and High School DxD have flaws and the flaws that accompany Shy Shark-tooth Girl are much of the same ones that accompany My Boss is Beautifully Busty. Based on the trope I started this post with, you can bet your sweet bippy it has romance, and like the other manga, it takes 20 years, a career, a marriage, and a divorce proceeding to gain steam, but is still Mercury-making-a-full-orbit faster than Takeda and Takizawa, Sitting in a Tree. Maybe the former is based on teens generally moving faster than adults for the simple reason that adults have more maturity and have more nuances to wade through before popping the big question of whether r/Animemes is really about anime. And in my life, I’ve seen both. High school romances reenacting the Hindenburg and adult romances advancing at the speed of ZZZZZzzzzz…… ah, whah?! Whozzat?

Sometimes the reverse or a combination of these, and there’s a chance you have as well. Another mark against the manga may be the idealized, romanticized, unchallenged romance. For the most part, there’s few rough patches that test Hitomi’s and Yuu’s relationship, but examining the manga panels closely shows that it does get tested a fair bit. Not so much in the name of drama, but more so transitioning from casual to romantic dialogue, so to speak. The two acknowledge each other’s feelings and are hilariously led to believed that their dynamic needs to change and fit this arbitrary criteria, when in the real world if this happens, the most that’ll change is that the universe stops standing in the way and lets them hold hands.

Not that adults can’t be this naive either, sheltered and dense adults will struggle with much of the same things teens do when they first start dating.

To further compare and contrast Cute Shork with Well-Endowed Superior, one is a 4-panel/yonkoma series set in a professional work environment, the other is a typical high school romance. Both put the male and female leads together and have the balls to continue on even after they finally get what their friends and family have acknowledged for ages. AdoraShark has a slightly larger cast though like Russian demographics, the women outnumber the men. In contrast, the smaller cast of the 4-panel manga has slightly more men than women characters, but is still equal. It’s also suited to maintaining this small cast while Hitomi-chan can and has introduced new characters piecemeal, each newcomer melding well with the established cast.

Even characters introduced at the beginning are given a chance to come back and get properly fleshed out, like the delinquent girls who were first seen antagonizing Yuu, until returning some 60 chapters later with more meat to chew on.

Chorisuke Natsumi seems to have a type.

12 volumes running from September 2018 to May 2025, the entire series is available for reading on MangaDex, being spared the grip of the Copyright Coalition in its most DMCA raid on the site. I haven’t heard news of anything in the way of any adaptation or OVAs as of yet, but like all the other times that’s crossed my radar, you can guarantee that I’ll post an update as news trickles out.

On Dragon Ball Z

Cha-la! Head Cha-la!

Last week, I gave an update on the extremely slow progress for One Piece. Given my situation in the Army and routinely driving weekly to do a training exercise, it sounds like I wouldn’t be able to do anything entertaining even if I wasn’t on a training exercise, but there’s a hell of a lot of down time that gives me my pick of the litter. There were the usual series I still had listed for viewing as well as the occasional movie that YouTube lets me watch for the small price of a skippable advertisement for a product I care little about. One such movie:

The impact of budget is often lost on the audience. This movie’s lack of funding was why they used coconuts… no evidence though that it explains the sparrow.

While One Piece has had me looking for One Pace (which is still lengthy in its own right given what the team is working with if the Discord server is what clues me in), Dragon Ball Z had been dubbed over ever since its western debut. Looking at simultaneous dubs today vs dubbing done even 15 to 20 years ago, it puts into perspective how long it took back then to translate everything well enough to give us a dub, passable or stellar. These days, finding a budding voice actor or even a newcomer is easier than it used to be. From the outside looking in, the talent manager/agent is either becoming a thing of the past or is fighting for the middleman position it now shares with social media.

Legacy and up-and-coming voice actors are all on Twitter and BlueSky now. Some are content creators outside of screaming their lungs deflated into a microphone, others are elsewhere in the entertainment industry, and the rest are varied. Why mention this? Mainly to show that the constraints that plagued animanga 40 years ago are largely a thing of the past, but in the case of the Dragon Ball franchise, fans would’ve went from waiting years to hear it in English to simply looking up where to find the VHS tapes, then the DVDs, then the Blu-Rays and eventually subscribing to whatever streaming service has your choice of show for a limited time.

Call me a monkey like Frieza because I have a bunch of s[monkey screech]t to fling, especially at these jokesters.

Dragon Ball Z was tied to Funimation in the west very close to the beginning, and the relationship hasn’t changed even after Funi got eaten by Crunchyroll as of late. It’s initial dubbing and runtime were extraordinarily long. This plus its content may explain how it became a staple in Latin America, but good luck selling animanga drama to an American or Canadian. Matter of fact, the reason Latin America loved animanga before the Anglophone world did can best be explained in this video:

Channel: Get In The Robot

The crux of this video is merely that with upwards of 90% of Latin America being subject to authoritarian dictatorships and military juntas or some other kind of government sponsored violence against itself (which ropes in the Philippines, Indonesia, South Korea, Taiwan, and other Asian countries that have a similar story to Chile, Brazil, Peru, Panama, and the others), the ridiculous plot points, dynamic battles, and Shonen-/Seinen-style romance stories were easy as hell to sell. Plus the changes made from Japanese to Spanish and Portuguese were left largely unchanged.

Eventually, though Dragon Ball would come to America and Canada and more than once. As stated earlier, the first round of dubbing kept the original episodes and dubbed them, but to mark the 20th anniversary of the western world’s reception of the Dragon Ball franchise, it was dubbed again with the subtitle Kai.

Like One Pace and Dragon Ball Z: Abridged, Kai recuts the anime and pretty much shortens the pace substantially. The original run of DBZ in the 1980s in Japan and its English version in the 90s, had an episode count of 291. When Kai came around, it cut the episode count to 167 episodes. Both of these include not just the three major sagas of the Z arc of the Dragon Ball manga — Saiyans, Frieza, and Androids — but also the rise of Majin Buu. Likewise, the original longer Dragon Ball Z had all those main arcs, stretched out, but also had filler arcs.

You could include a bunch of nonsensical, non-canon filler arcs back then as the manga would still be in serialization and several volumes in as soon as the animators were drawing the first cels of the first few seconds of the pilot episode. In contrast, when it comes to animation in the west, the storyboard and production phases would be planned out over the course of months for a weekly release schedule. Depending on the series it can last between 10-13 episodes or 20-26 episodes. Same goes for anime, though rather than batch release series, they’ve truncated the average run time from over 22 episodes to 12-13 episodes at best. There’s a wider discussion to be had about the treatment of animators, which gets away from the point of this post while also using secondary and tertiary accounts, but that’s best saved for another date. No guarantees, though, I’m not a Sith.

Maybe I am a Sith because I think this is absolute horse s[neighs]t.

Every time I watch Dragon Ball Z anything, I default to the Kai dub because it was my introduction to the series on TV, though not exactly my introduction to the series. That came from the PS2 version of the Dragon Ball Z: Budokai, released in North America in 2002.

If I were Dr. Strange and I wanted to find a universe where Dragon Ball wasn’t also a video game for s[blasts]ts and giggles, I would be so short of results that the debt collectors would’ve broken my legs ahead of time.

I was probably able to do it at a young age, given that I went back to watch Naruto from halfway through the Chunin Exams arc, as well as Shippuden from start to finish in order to get up to a certain plot point mentioned in passing in Boruto, but to be honest, the original run of Dragon Ball doesn’t jive that well with me. Many who were around at the time can easily go back to that dub or even the sub if they prefer, but I’ve been living off accurate adaptations of serializing manga and light novels. The comparisons between DBZ original and its manga would drive me nuts and there’s no steering wheel down there.

:D

I don’t care what anyone says, whether I’m missing something hilarious in the filler arcs or if their importance is lost on anime these days. I fully understand that that’s the case now. Not that all filler is a waste of time, but rather with anime adopting the seasonal model in the mid-2010s so to speak, there’s no need to chain the animators to their desks and keep them drawing until their hands bend in eight places.

I’m exaggerating, not every animation studio is doing that, but abridged series, official and parodical, show that there’s no need to rush the release anymore. For Kai, I may be an artist, but I’m not an animator and I don’t have an intimate knowledge of recuts, but my limited experience with video editing shows that it’s a bit more complicated than simply removing a few scenes or adding some. No matter what Team Four Star would have you believe. This may harken back to my lifelong difficulty of absorbing massive amounts of information in one sitting, which was why I hated school, but I’d rather watch the Kai dub a hundred times than try to get through the original uncut Dragon Ball Z. And not just that, I’m certain the human mind isn’t designed to or supposed to take in so much information so shortly. I can tell you the plot of some things I’ve watched or played even years after the fact if I’m interested, but speedrunning a series is how I miss some details. I like to absorb everything I can at my own pace, which is why I generally view animanga in a non-straightforward, nonlinear method. I need to let it simmer before I start serving the soup.

I’ve watched the Kai dub at least twice now because of this set up so I’m glad I can say that this works for me. The absence of filler arcs distracted me less and the rigid focus on adapting the manga this time around was easier to follow. Having said that, if you’re cut from the same cloth as I, you may find it easier to hunt for the Blu-Rays or pirate and torrent, especially now since “buying ain’t owning” anymore. And definitely the Kai dub so less time is wasted stretching a single frame or scene for longer than it needs to be.

Shame no other studio officially recut its long ass anime into shorter episodes before it gained traction in the last decade or rewatching original Naruto would be so much easier than it is now.

At least there’s guides to help pick apart the canon from the filler.

One Piece Progress: One Pace

An update on a declaration

Some time last year, I made a bold declaration to give some older anime series a rewatch, namely Giant Pirate Adventure and Space Monkey Mafia. I was able to watch Dragon Ball Z’s Kai dub on the Internet Archive from start to finish, at first before leaving for the Army, and again while in. For One Piece though, I made mention of its pacing problem before which kept me from watching it as consistently at first. Following that, I looked for the One Pace recut to do away with all the half-isode runtime that was standard practice at the time, if you’ve ever watched orignal Naruto, Bleach or the original cut of Dragon Ball Z.

I’m still in the process of completing One Pace after getting back into it from the insistence of a fellow soldier whose exposure to the series is more personal. So far, I’m on the Drum Island arc. Yeah, yeah, snails pace and all that.

But I am rediscovering what appeals to so many about Luffy’s adventures. The core of the series is merely to search for the legendary treasure of the legendary Gol D. Roger: a posthumous character who took the location of his treasure with him to the grave.

There was something about Luffy seeing the execution platform that evoked several images and emotions. The most powerful pirate in history was caught and killed by the Marines, never revealing the location of his treasure, but sprinkling breadcrumbs for other ambitious pirates to follow. The risk of capture and execution is still present, but let’s think critically about what the pirates and the Marines means in this world.

To some of you reading, this may bring up things Hasan Piker has said about One Piece before being “pro-socialist, anti-imperialist” in design. I do see that talking point, but I personally don’t agree with it, since you can be anti-imperialist without being pro-socialist. Getting away from that, though, One Piece does have a slant against an oppressive government as seen in this clip:

As I’ve stated, I’m not that far into the anime, but so far, looking at what Gol D. Roger did to get himself executed by the Marines is a question worth asking. This isn’t me saying he was a good guy. Going by his design, and just from what I can extrapolate from the openings, he doesn’t seem to be very different from Blackbeard or Henry Every or, one of the worst pirates in the Golden Age of Piracy, Black Bart Roberts.

Still following along, albeit, much less closely. It’s a monster series that’s still being released and even repackaged in 3-in-1 omnibus volumes after 28 years in serialization and counting. Not as massive as JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, but it’s a contender for longest-running series next to Sazae-san and any soap opera/telenovela still on the air.

Maybe because of how long it is, I can make this a yearly thing. Perhaps by September next year, I’ll be nearly done with the Fishman Island arc.

Actually, since I talked more critically about One Piece this time, I think I can put my analysis of Dragon Ball Z in for next week.

The Cartoon that Satirized Anime Before it was Cool

One in a million

There have been numerous non-Japanese animations that have aped the art-style and, at times, tropes of the medium over the years. Sometimes a single episode is dedicated to taking the piss outta anime, other times it’s the framework of the entire show. You can pick some of your favorites, and while some of mine come from French-produced animations that Nicktoons Network was able to air in the US, one particular show jumped on the same bandwagon and in a more crude manner than its contemporaries in Europe. Enter Kappa Mikey:

Created by Larry Schwarz and his production company Animation Collective, it was given a home on Nicktoons Network, Nickelodeon’s redhaired step-child channel, from February 25, 2006 to September 20, 2008. The premise of the show is 19-year-old Ohioan fumbles an audition to become an actor in Cleveland and gets shunted by the auditioner for his inability to act. Elsewhere, the cast and crew of a Japanese tokusatsu children’s show called LilyMu are eyeing up the wall where the kanji for “financial ruin” (財政破綻) is being written. Their boss notices and demands the director come up with a solution to fix it or they’ll be jobless in no time. After a series of stellar auditions that go nowhere, the crew resorts to a contest on a series of scratch cards, some of which blow in the wind and find themselves in the failed actor’s hands in America.

As luck would have it, it’s the winning ticket, and since becoming even a B-list celebrity in the US is a bust, it’s time to see if the Japanese populace can be won over on this struggling TV series. Sure enough, the fish out of water wins over Japanese fans and breathes new air into the show.

The format of the show is like most comedy anime and even a few western cartoons. Rather than separate the A and B subplots of the episode, they tend to blend into each other, first being introduced as separated entities until they converge roughly 3/4 or 4/5 into the episode’s run time. As for the animation style, it’s a mix of eastern and western animation styles with the American having his distinct art style separate from his Japanese and other non-American counterparts.

The cast of the Kappa Mikey series consists of LilyMu actors Michael “Mikey” Simon, Gonard, Lily, Mitsuki, and the director-producer, Guano. Above them are the literal suits, their boss, Ozu and his Yes-Man named as such. Mikey is the orange-haired, blue-shirted American who does silly and ridiculous things when not acting as the new addition to the LilyMu team. On the set of the show, he’s the star and main hero, a position that would’ve gone to his co-worker, Lily, if it wasn’t for his introduction into the show and is the main reason for her off-screen aloofness towards him.

For Lily, her character design is across between Inuyasha’s Kagome Higurashi and Sailor Moon’s Usagi Tsukino, but personality-wise she exudes a type of tsundere exhibited by Tora Dora’s Taiga Aisaka and Lucky Star’s Kagami Hiiragi. Her language may not carry the same weight after 20 years, but at the time, she was so liberal with the use of the word “spaz” that a concerned British parent may as well investigate further before muting the telly because of how dangerously close that is to the word “spastic.” Sidenote: If you’re curious why that’s a taboo word in the UK, in the Americas it carries the same connotation as the word “retarded.”

Gonard is built like an off-brand Raditz sans scouter, armor, and death by Kakarot, but has the same role as Raditz and just because he isn’t plenty dead enough, lots more screentime. His role in the LilyMu TV show is that of the villain with all the gadgets and gizmos that either inspired Heinz Doofenshmirtz in Danville to build his own or inspired him to take on a lawsuit because that Japanese show took all of his ideas!

But the Tokyo Metropolis is well outside the tri-state area and Doof’s mission is to be a doofus.

When off the show, Gonard is simply the good-natured dimwit who eats everything that is known to edible while also experimenting like that one episode of Teen Titans when Cyborg’s module malfunctioned and he saw food everywhere. Gonard is essentially Patrick Star from the ridiculous ideas, to the green shorts, even to the body type, though instead of hefty, Gonard has noticeable muscle mass. As a result of being the villain on the show, one episode hints at him being feared by those with a surface level knowledge of the show he plays in. And this is a real phenomenon where kind actors are too heavily associated with a great villain they have or currently portray. See Sir Anthony Hopkins and Hannibal Lecter for more details.

Mitsuki is the polar opposite and foil of sorts to Lily. If Lily was like Kagami from Lucky Star, Mitsuki is a bit like her sister, Tsukasa. Furthermore, Mitsuki instantly took a liking to Mikey once he landed at Haneda Airport and has an immediate crush on him at first glance, despite his general idiocy and whatnot. Sadly, it’s not very reciprocal as Mikey himself has a one-way crush on Lily. The reason given in a Season 2 episode being that she has a competitive, risky edge to her, compared to Mitsuki who could best be described as what Jotaro Kujo considers a traditional Japanese woman, or “yamato nadeshiko”. Quiet, demure, considerate, but also smart and unflinching. I don’t know if the “blue haired loser girl” trope is this old, but if it’s not then that means Mitsuki is either the progenitor or an early source of the trope. On the show, she’s fiercer and tougher than she is off screen

Guano is the purple-dyed Pikachu reject and nervous trainwreck that manages to keep the show held together with homegrown gorilla glue and 20-year-old Flex Tape, and it’s fairly obvious why he’d be that. He’s the director and Ozu and Yes-Man breathing down his neck put him on edge, especially when things go diagonally. On the show, he lives up to the rip-off Pikachu by merely repeating his name with each action or attack he pulls, especially with the large gemstone in his chest. Although the gemstone functions and shoots lasers, its reserved for other emergencies both on the set and on the Kappa Mikey show as a whole, merely having the same function as the gem or laser eyes on Frylock’s back in Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

For Ozu and Yes-man, Ozu is the man who can feed or starve his actors, pay or withhold pay, pull the plug or keep life support on. Long before Benson the gumball machine on Regular Show would threaten to fire Mordecai and Rigby, Ozu did it several years prior and normally did it to Mikey, but sometimes he extended it to the rest of the cast if the screw up was that egregious. Opposite the iron footprint on the floor, he’s consistently shown to butter up Mikey and consider him the prized piece that makes the show whole. As an inseparable addition to the show, keeping Mikey in good graces is his main priority. He doesn’t always do this to him out of genuine kindness, but it hints at one aspect of Japanese and, by extension, East Asian face culture. Maintaining an image of grace and harmony keeps the tabloids and journos from slandering you every minute. As a contrast, the employees are societally obligated to also make the boss and the company look at its absolute best 100 percent of the time. And this is all a satire as the reality on the ground still exposes even East Asian companies to scandals and controversies of their own. Nintendo, Konami, most Korean chaebols (itself a different snake pit), Alibaba; being based in East Asia doesn’t save these kind of companies from human error, negligence, or even malice.

Finally, there’s Yes-man who’s more of a caricature than an actual character. He’s a parodical gag of an existing character in other media and at times in real life. A cheerleader in a suit for Ozu himself, he’s not exactly meant to have any development whatsoever, merely an exaggerated side-character to point and laugh at. A jester of sorts.

This video by Jordan Fringe explains the production side of things:

Channel: Jordan Fringe

For two seasons, Kappa Mikey ran largely unimpeded by any outside forces. It was pitched by Schwarz as an “American-style anime series” and considering what I’ve grown up on, it’s been preceded and surpassed many times depending on what you consider an American cartoon whose art-style is heavily influenced by Japanimation. The Boondocks and Avatar: The Last Airbender for instance but neither are very well-loved in Japan in particular or East Asia very widely. The former was made by Aaron McGruder as a reflection of black American culture which will get lost in translation, literally, when exported abroad and the latter does its best with its source material of wider Asian folklore and mythology, but without the core tenets of Buddhist, Taoist, or Confucian beliefs, the face culture, or the courtship, it would at best be limited to a cult following outside of the west.

I haven’t even the slightest idea if this show has popularity in the country it takes the piss out of. On the one hand, it’s theme song is sung by a J-Rock band called Beat Crusaders, but on the other hand, Nickelodeon’s practice of hiding mid-tier TV series on Nicktoons Network and praying no one would notice when iCarly and Drake and Josh and SpongeBob were on the air left it to its fate of obscurity, at least for those who couldn’t afford cable.

Damn, I miss this logo…

Now that’s pretty much the show and its lifespan, how did it end? Or more to the point, why did it end? It had the energy to get at least another season or two. Perhaps even a made-for-TV movie. In that same video by Jordan Fringe, no clear reason was given except for speculation over budget constraints and a low viewership. Considering it was on an affiliate channel at the time and not likely not a major priority for the likes of Nick and Viacom, I can’t help but feel some sabotage was at play and as biased as it may sound to say about a studio over one show, there were a lot of shows that got shunted and only found wider success of sorts on the smaller channel. Some of the shows being legacy series that were given a modern reboot, though the results were far more mixed.

For a rather primitive though mid-2000s charmed show about an American becoming a Japanese audience darling, the entire series can be found on the Internet Archive for your viewing pleasure. Not to mention one I’m watching out of order since the callbacks to earlier episodes are few and far between.

Solo Leveling and Jujutsu Kaisen

A pair of anime darlings in this day and age

It isn’t everyday that new anime debut and take the world by storm… or maybe it is since the audience is starved for a brand new bevy of releases to christen the Big Three of Anime. The western anime fans are still in search of those that can lay Bleach, One Piece, and Naruto to rest and as far as contenders go, the early 2020s have so far seen two of them go back and forth in popularity: Jujutsu Kaisen and Solo Leveling.

JK debuted in 2018 as a serialized manga running for 30 volumes until 2024 and SL started sometime in 2016 and bounced between publishers online as a Korean webcomic until it got a physical release the same week as JK for 14 volumes of its own, releasing its final chapter in 2021. I admit that I was late to the party, coming on for both JK and SL only this year, and I’ve made better progress in the former than the latter, though still stuck on the first season. Not to mention how inconsistent I am with my viewing, so the remainder of this double bill will default to Wikipedia. Starting with the first:

A supernatural story involving yet another orphaned adolescent who gets chosen by a demonic power that doesn’t kill him but lies in his body as a host and comes out to puppet his latent abilities. Of these, is the famed Domain Expansion whereupon an alternate dimension opens up where the user is given free will to do whatever to win the battle. Something something victory is god and the user is pope fare. The orphaned adolescent is pure of heart, innocent Yuji Itadori. His sickly grandfather leaves this mortal plane with a dying message to always stay kind. Easy instructions to follow since that’s all he wants for himself and his friends.

Afterwards, he continues life in high school and runs into people with some of the aforementioned abilities, starting with Megumi Fushiguro.

Fushiguro is what is known as a Jujutsu Sorcerer, part of a secret society of sorcerers tasked with protecting the innocent from ancient evil Curses. One way in which this is achieved is by collecting scattered demon body parts, some of which belong to the worst known as Ryomen Sukuna. In one such encounter, Fushiguro finds students who find Sukuna’s disembodied finger. Understanding the inherent evil in just the severed appendage but not yet knowing how it works, Yuji swallows it whole allowing Sukuna to dwell within his body.

Here, the demon acts as Yuji’s id, or from what I’ve seen thus far, tries to. Yuji still maintains control of the flesh, but will call upon the evil within to get him out of a particularly tough battle. Though he has the powers of the demon at his beck and call, he’s not exactly an expert and in the eyes of the Jujutsu Sorcerers, he’s marked for exorcism and eventually execution. In the series, select individuals — to include Yuji — have the ability to control such evil, and before they become experts in this ability, they attend school at any one of Japan’s government-sponsored Jujutsu Sorcerer academies.

Bearing witness to this course of opening events is Fushiguro’s senpai, Satoru Gojo, who elects to stay the impending exorcism so that Yuji can learn how to control the demon within. The chimp has the rifle, but good luck expecting marksmanship or trigger discipline from the great ape, which is why he initially struggles to perform in combat. After Gojo helps Yuji transfer to the Tokyo branch of the Sorcerer academy, the series gets its proper start in the format we’re all familiar with and those of you who haven’t seen it, if the occult is up your alley, then give it a watch.

Personally, I liked the premise enough to progress to 2/3’s of the way through Season 1. Now, my work schedule has kept me from completely finishing the series and I’m notorious for bouncing between series. I’ve mentioned it yonks ago that I’m not a fan of the binge culture spearheaded by the likes of Netflix and I like to take my time with series, especially new ones. The cost of this is that a lot of time is put between viewings which leaves me to play catch ups in my head or do research prior to picking it back up or both. For what it’s worth, my memory works well enough to keep me from having to do that as frequently save for these blog posts–usually the next episode helps jog that memory.

This era of anime has since done away with the worst forms of Recap Syndrome that have stuck with the medium for decades, and I consider myself lucky enough to have such a memory, but for other people who binge their series, this is probably one of the most inconvenient times to discover anime. At least the pacing hasn’t taken a serious hit, and in some ways has improved due to the direction of the blowing wind now. For me, I maintain that spacing allows me to think about what I just watched, whereas binging gives me a lot all at once and there’s only so much I can take these days.

Back to Demon Hunter School…

…not that one.

The driving force that keeps me from forgetting about the series is the occult nature of it all as well as the drip feeding of Japanese folklore, namely the series’ interpretation of famous Yurei and Yokai mythology. Why didn’t I jump on it as it was popular? Especially since one of my favorites, High School DxD, is the occult with T n A? I don’t chase trends, especially as they air or debut, which is why it’s taken me ages to at least check out My Dress Up Darling for instance. Damn, this castle manor of anime endlessly expands. Did I steal the blueprints for the Winchester mansion or something?

Well, whatever, onto the rest of this double bill with Solo Leveling:

Alternatively titled, Only I Level Up, Solo Leveling has a few occult themes in it, but is merely wearing the skin of a homebrew DnD campaign. Contemporary South Korea has a map of different dungeons that are far too dangerous for the Republic of Korea Army to attempt to clear out by themselves, even with U.S. military aid, but a subsect of people exist with different abilities to help clear them based on their skill level. E-tier or worse? You get s[punch]t. B-tier or better? The dungeons get worse, but you come out better. Sooner or later, you’ll climb out of hell wearing the devil’s skin as a shirt and his head on your hip.

From that description alone, and based on other Korean media I’ve been exposed to, the tropes exist within the Korean online gaming market (sans CS:GO) with monsters and enemies that exoticize the different DnD races while holding back on the East Asian romantic picture of western European court and nobility. The protagonist here is low-level hunter Sung Jin-woo. He gets chosen by virtue of being the last of his hunting party when nearly everyone gets their s[crunch]t stomped in by the monsters and possesses an ability no other hunter has: the ability to level up, thus giving the title its purpose. Every other hunter has their abilities set in stone, but the powers that be choose him to be the one to level up from paltry E-tier to god pulverizing S-tier.

Credit: u/MaxSupreme369, r/SoloLeveling

I wrote ages ago about how historical and political circumstances led to the Korean government to heavily vet and scrutinize nonpolitical media and the likes for any anti-government, pro-North Korean/pro-communist sentiment, which I think severely limited outside exposure to webcomics (along with ancient Internet being even more closed off), and I maintain that these circumstances are why Korean webcomics are still in their discovery era even now as series are still being discovered, despite some of them debuting their first chapters years ago.

For Solo Leveling, a bevy of outside factors seem to have also influenced its central themes. The premise of dungeon raiding has deep medieval European roots, the caste system has medieval Asian roots, and as explained in this video, the concept of killing God and defying fate has specifically Japanese roots. At most, the only thing Korean about the series is its setting, Seoul, its characters having Korean names and abandoning the character design philosophy of “Mukokuseki,” where characters have nontraditional hair and clothing senses so that the viewer can self-insert into their favorite characters. I feel the concept is better used in Japan than Korea given geopolitics, and successive authoritarian Korean governments having a more noticeable thumbprint on what was previously allowed to print.

Fortunately, this hasn’t affected this specific webcomic all that much in a way that was noticeable to the untrained eye. But it still has a few of the same problems from the True Beauty webcomic, in that the main character needs an outside source to become a better version of themselves in order to be accepted by their peers.

I am still speaking from an outsider’s perspective, and if everything I’ve read about Korean culture is even somewhat true than I’d probably look to Europe as a source of freedom from my mundane at best Korean life.

Solo Leveling also deserves a watch for those who enjoy the DnD-ness of its format, but to measure it up against the likes of JK… I still lean more Jujutsu-ward than SL. Both are great in their own right, with interesting characters in a creative and compelling story, but at the risk of throwing Korea under the bus like its neighbors have done so historically, JK pulls me in much stronger than SL. This very blog is evidence enough that I game to a supremely unhealthy degree and if I’m being honest, the games are all the solo leveling I need. This isn’t me saying “I don’t like character arcs,” no sane person would say that; rather it’s me saying that “I don’t find Solo Leveling’s presentation to be my particular cup of tea.” Basically this meme format so as to not mince words:

Still, give it a watch if you wanna see Sung Jin-woo get a comically larger chin without having to Habsburg his way there.

Miss Kyoko Takizawa, My Beautiful (Busty) Boss

The Life and Times of a Busty Office Lady

After over 150+ chapters of this manga, and years of fanart, I’ve come to the conclusion that its existence was used as an excuse for artists try and draw its title character in various outfits and hairstyles. Except by “artists,” I mean “creator” Yanbaru, though countless other artists have aped his art style in order to draw Takizawa-san.

Artist: AfterProject

Oops, I’m jumping the gun. Let’s properly introduce the series. Created by mangaka Yanbaru, Bijin Onna Joushi Takizawa-san (rough translation: My Beautiful Female Superior, Miss Takizawa), is a yonkoma/4-panel manga about office workers. A slice of life that cheekily takes the piss out of Japanese work culture, at least on the mild end where the bosses aren’t evil. You’d need Japan’s answer to Trey Parker and Matt Stone if you wanna take the piss out of Japanese black company culture, and biting satire, though honest, requires an above average number of braincells before the powers that be realize that it’s a plea for change masquerading as a comedy act.

But I digress, it’s primarily a comedy with romantic elements thrown in later into the manga, and quite late I might add, at least 50 or 60 chapters. Sounds like a dissuasion, but the benefit of a yonkoma format is that you can blaze through the first 20 chapters in under five minutes. It would surely explain Azumanga’s popularity back in the day.

Lovely Boss Takizawa starts off with baby-faced new hire, Kota Takeda, starting his job at a company under which he’s accepted into Takizawa’s department as her underling. The first few chapters show Takeda getting accustomed to the office life at this place and his slow introduction to some other characters. The unnamed Section Chief is meant to be written as a comic relief character, but with the gag being that he makes off hand comments about Takizawa’s extra large bust size, very much to her chagrin. This adds him to the shortlist of manga characters with a sexual harassment case as thick as a Yellow Pages. A step above Minoru “Grape Juice” Mineta of MHA fame, but somewhat below Minoru Kobayakawa who’s a lolicon at best, and pedophile at worst.

Mingling with his contemporaries, Takeda meets Shimizu who can best be described as a slacker, but not necessarily harmful to his own or Takeda’s personal development. A middling bro who means well but if given a character to bounce off of with a similar personality comes across as a Rigby to that character’s Mordecai. Wait, that’s pretty much Takeda’s role when I think about it, but the Regular Show comparison ends there since there aren’t any supernatural elements that damn near explode a local park every day.

By the time Takeda’s largely embedded into the company, another newcomer joins up in the form of Aya Miyamoto, a nervous young woman whose exposure to men her age was so severely limited as a consequence of graduating from an all-girls’ school. She has a bit of an anxiety towards men and thanks to her being introduced to Shimizu and the Chief of all people, her anxieties are realized. Thankfully, she makes contact with Miss Takizawa who metaphorically slaps them into gear and helps reintroduce Miyamoto to Takeda whom she regards as more trustworthy and less “dangerous” than the other two.

Away from the 9 to 5, Takizawa and Takeda grow closer and closer to the point where Everybody Knows but Them rears its ugly head, but more to the viewer than towards the other characters. Some, like Shimizu have their suspicions, but no one knows better than Takeda’s sisters, imouto Yuki…

…not that one.

And anee-san, Kaoru. I jest about Yuki Takeda and Yuki Suou right here, but the comparison isn’t as apt as I teased. They both read manga, though Yuki Takeda favors Shojo romance then Suou’s outright smut. I’m still catching up to the manga, but from what I’ve seen of Yuki, she shows her love for her brother in a funny way. Practically screaming at him to be a gentleman when around Takizawa, even though he was already doing that on and off work. Aggressive wingwoman box ticked.

For the more passive wingwoman, Kota’s older sister, Kaori, is more foxy in a manner of speaking. Being the first born, she teases her siblings left and right, and seems to do so indiscriminately every time she hangs out with Takizawa. In one such instance at an arcade, they’re playing all the games, and Kaori ends the trip getting more than a little invasive. Poor Takizawa. She’s already playing dodge harassment at work and Takeda’s older sister shows that she’s not safe from the same treatment around Kaori. Still, she exemplifies the opposite end of the spectrum where she seems to be pushing Takizawa towards Kota while Yuki does the same for Kota, pushing him towards Takizawa. I say passive in the sense that Kaori’s intensity shines less in how she accomplishes her mission compared to Yuki, but going by my description she’s still aggressive towards Takizawa. In that category, we may have to hold off on that tick or at least add an asterisk.

Does their hard work finally pay off? Well, after over 100 chapters of “will they, won’t they” teasing, I’m pleased to report that they do become an item, and some of the reactions around the office are funny. Most of the time, it’s generally seen as a bad idea to date a coworker, least of all someone in a managerial position, but in reality it’ll still happen and under ideal conditions, with a relationship that grows organically, this can blossom into something beautiful. So that’s the romantic aspect, the comedy aspect zeroes in on Takizawa’s F-cups… or G-cups or larger.

For an easily lewded character, I’ve yet to see someone even try to get her measurements. Even Yanbaru himself hasn’t bothered with this, AFAIK. I’ll just leave it at G-cup and call it a day. If that’s the case than most of her bras would either be special order (not too hard considering her position and its regular salary) or she’d have to look online for bras normally marketed to heavy-set women in Britain and America.

Do I give this series a recommendation? Depends on what you’re looking for honestly. If you’re looking for boob jokes or commentary, most of them come from the Chief or Shimizu and they’re not good parameters for comedy. If you’re looking for something akin to Kiyohiko Azuma, then you’ll find that in spades. The later chapters do still have visual gags like Takizawa’s boobs bouncing every which way, but I figure when your chest is big enough to shake your table if you plop them on the top, that mostly comes with the territory. And if you want to see a romance develop in a yonkoma, well you’re in for the long haul. Slice of life stories tend to have to fight to be seen or heard when every animanga these days is about balletic, bombastic fights and pseudo-kung fu mysticism, but this works in Great Boss Takizawa’s favor seeing as it can be break from the Jujutsu Kaisens and Solo Levelings getting all the praise these days.

For as much as I like this manga, pacing can summon the Sandman in some areas and the Azumanga Daioh is strong in the story structure seeing as this kind of format favors nonlinear storytelling. There is progression in the story, but with each chapter being written the way it is (usually apropos of nothing until a prior plot point is connected), it can be something of a chore in some areas. But the announcement of Takeda and Takizawa’s relationship developing is something to look forward to at least. For now, all the chapters are available on MangaDex with regular updates, but if you wanna find a pirate site to read it, then by all means. Beware the sidebar and pop-up ads.

Artist: yan-baru

Yanbaru may be having fun with putting Takizawa in outfits like this, but reading the manga shows why she’d never wear something so provocative.

Разве это не то, чего ты хотела?

Forgive me for using Google Translate for the title

Advanced weebs reading this are all too familiar with the Yandere trope, also known as “If I’m not the only woman you know, I will do things that will put me on a watchlist in multiple countries~!”

“You mean… you weren’t already…?” wondered the Wonder Bread male MC before he gets assaulted and threatened with snu snu.

To catch the newcomers up to speed, a yandere is any character (the most common ones being female) who’s so obsessively infatuated with the object of their lustful desires that they will cross legal and physical boundaries to be one with them. I made a joke in my Taste My Saliva post that Mikoto Urabe was Yandere-shaped what with the hentai protagonist haircut, her detached attachment (oxymoron?) to Tsubaki-kun, and her black belt in scissor-fu, but a common trait shared by many Yanderes is that they almost always follow through on the threats of violence and in more ways than one double as serial predators if not outright rapists. The objects of their “affection” rarely get a chance to consent, everything is a weapon if their creative enough, and short of a horror movie scenario, even if the object of their affection died naturally or by their hand, it doesn’t necessarily mean death would stop them.

I wouldn’t put it past NHentai or another such sight to have a tag in the same vein of “post-mortem erection.” Please do not introduce me to such a thing, I already have a hard time accepting Revenge of the Molesting Mage despite the decent, if formulaic, plot progression.

Now, with the knowledge that the Yandere is essentially a horny for romance horror monster archetype, I humbly introduce you to the horror game that took the Internet by storm at launch and has birthed a dynasty’s worth of memes: MiSide!

Awww, look at her! Look at how cute she is. Almost makes gore-y sex with your bloody, mangled corpse worth it…

…is what I would say if the rational part of my brain was missing. Her top is red and so are her flags. Developed by a pair of Russian coders forming the group, AIHASTO, MiSide is about a nameless, generic male protagonist getting suckered into an interactive video game about being a loving boyfriend/husband/significant other type to a fictional girl with a dark side that makes her the star of nearly any given true crime documentary and an average Tuesday in Rossiya.

After days of playing the game, you get literally suckered into the game to potentially live the rest of your life (trapped depending on how you look at it) with Yandere antagonist Mita. If you do certain actions beforehand, you can unlock the prerequisites to live a false life in the Matrix as the prized plaything of this drop dead gorgeous sociopath. Do something else and down the rabbit hole you go where you specifically are the rabbit and Mita the wolf on the prowl.

Fans of Beastars, erase this from your mental imagery right this second. The romance exhibited in the series is in no way comparable to the absolute horror in MiSide.

Slight spoilers for the specifics, there’s a few moments where you can poke around in the beginning when Mita says you don’t have to or even help her with more than what she asks for, as a sort of obedience test. Thanks to my gentlemanly behavior, I failed and was witness to real terror. So, the game contains more than one Mita and the one advertised on the game on Steam is Crazy Mita. The other variants have multiple different shapes and personalities and if I were to scrutinize more heavily, I’d say, they absorb elements from different genres and, dare I say, different horror movies; some of which I might have seen and some others I really need to, even a second viewing. I s[blyat]t you not, there’s a Playable Teaser reference in the game.

Never mind looking at legacy British and American horror movies and games, AIHASTO looked at Japan for this one.

This part also reminded many that Konami can’t get f[yarou!]ked hard enough for cancelling Silent Hills. But anyway, the carnival horrors gets progressively disturbing, surreal, and at times paranormal. That’s the most I’ll speak of on the plot because I wish for you to experience it for yourself.

How’s the gameplay? Well, looking back on it, I figure some extra inspiration came from Resident Evil 7’s and Outlast’s use of first-person POV. Jump scares come up in the select bits that they’re supposed to, but what else is implemented is the destruction of the 4th wall. Not dissimilar from the likes of Eternal Darkness or Doki Doki Literature Club (or even the nightmare sections in Max Payne plus its fourth wall break), Mita in her many forms talks directly to both the protagonist and the player. Although you choose the protagonist’s name, he still has dialogue and is as involved in the story as any other character, one of Mita’s several victims and the next on her impromptu serial killer list. Not content to mess about with the player, Mita also interacts with the environment in some manner. It’s not as extensive as tricking you into thinking you’re suffering from an audio problem or asking you to create a new folder in your files. But there was a clear inspiration from elsewhere.

For you the player, since the framework is a dark twist on a dating/life/social sim like… The Sims, the horror elements make a lasting impression, but so does the down time with some of the other Mita variants. Puzzle gameplay, dating sim gameplay, PvE co-op; all these elements would conflict with each other in a worse designed game, but for an indie, they play so well, that AIHASTO hasn’t just cooked–they have a whole recipe and MiSide is their beef stew. Please, sir. May I have some more?

Channel: Movieclips

Knowing Mita though, it’ll be my own still-beating heart or pumping veins…

You’re not entirely limited to running the f[gong]k away, as select sequences have you engaging in puzzle gameplay or even interacting in a playful way with some of the other Mita clones as the game by this point wants to still believe it’s a dating sim, even if Mita wants to harvest your organs for even worse purposes than making a couple thousand on the black market. Frankenstein’s monster…?

Horror is one thing, but some kind of horror comedy video game would be appreciated even slightly.

Suffice it to say, MiSide pays homage to all the old tropes within whilst putting its own spin on what it brings to the table, sort of like the video game equivalent of the Scream franchise when it debuted in 1996. Taking the piss out of every horror movie as the respective franchise lost favor to trends at the time and pumping it full of blood it harvested from a pig farm. For MiSide, I can’t say for certain whether horror games have lost their knife edge since, like isekai anime, I don’t particularly gun for it exclusively nor can I say that MiSide was trying the same thing here. For all I know, AIHASTO have been working on this brainchild for yonks before they decided to show the world what they were making. Add me to the list of other reviewers when I say that they succeeded.

Even post-release, it was still a work-in-progress of sorts what with all the patches since it released in December. Nevertheless, praise should go to all the voice actors who could convey the emotion in each of the featured languages. As an American, Russian anything can sound intimidating to me even if I’m just looking to get some pizza. With the devs being Russian, it was the first language patch to get the voicework. Down the line came the Japanese voicework and a quick clip of Japanese-speaking Mita vs Russian-speaking Mita, my American ears quickly applied different levels of dread on Mita in that one example. Finally, English-speaking Mita who finally translated the weight of the emotions in her scenes. Language, tone of voice, or merely silently reading the text as it appears on screen, the dialogue lines do well to translate the weight of a given scene to the player, and when it goes hand-in-hand with the gameplay, I can’t help but line up for seconds.

Chibi or not, this smug aura emits superiority… I am compelled to defeat her in a competition!

Sex Critics Review Otherworldly Female Creatures

Speak, penis, for you have the floor… and the p[nyan]y.

My reluctant review of F[crash]k You! Actually F[horn]ks You Into the Harem ended with a mention of another series that was pushing the envelope, so much so that it took Funimation three episodes to realize it might as well have been hentai. And looking at it’s content, I really wanna go back in time to Funimation’s as of yet unclaimed office, stare the big boss/manager/whatever in the face and say, “With a premise like this, what were you expecting? Raunchier KonoSuba?”

No matter the intention, learning about this led to a Streisand effect in the animanga community, whereby, those who weren’t watching it yet, checked it out to see why Funimation would choose not to continue airing a current anime series. Once they saw why, it made sense.

If I was in charge of a streaming service, I’d put this behind an older teen or 18+ section. Simply change your user settings to be able to view hentai and ecchi freely and voila! Enjoy your culture, ladies and gentlemen.

The premise is simple: a fantasy world where every monster girl is available and about 90% of them work in a legalized sex industry, Stunk the human and his bestie Zel the elf embark on an adventure to f[crumble]k every monster girl they can find. Shortly after their quest begins, they meet an angel named Crimvael who has both sets of genitalia, but defaults male to lessen the confusion when being addressed by others. And wouldn’t you have it, the little angel is the most well-endowed of the three. It’s like Team Four Star’s take on Krillin, smacking him around all throughout the Abridged Dragon Ball run until finally giving him the golden ticket in Android 18.

A typical episode begins with the trio heading to a brothel under the ownership of a type of monster girl, they ask for the services and perhaps through power of Post Nut Enlightenment, their reviews of the girls read like Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy at times. Aiding your prostate apparently brings out the poet when describing how well (or poorly) these girls use their bodies to help the reviewer reach a satisfying climax. Not the first or last time such an observation would be made, as PornHub comments and the Zenless Zone Zero community can attest.

D[clank]ks out, tits out, spurt like a faucet and cover in baby batter, rate us on Yelp, hope to clean your fluids off our floors again… but would you believe me if there was more than an absurd number of fetishes in this series? The culture of individual monster girls plays a significant role to some degree. For instance, minotaur/cow-girls have the biggest breasts and their speech patterns are cattle-influenced; the succubi are so extremely depraved that they can f[pop!]k you to death; fairy girls are predictably Tinker Bell-sized, so good look trying something remotely kinky; elf girls are all GILFs by default due their aging process compared to human beings, etc. etc. etc.

This also leads to a few dark moments in the series. Away from the brothels where penises get played with like any other toy, sometimes venues make a strip show of things. Venturing into even more inappropriate territory sheds light on a certain episode involving egg-laying. And that’s the most I’ll reveal about that episode. Another moment involves them making a sex doll in the shape of their bird girl friend and tavern waitstaff, Meidri. After the men take their turns, word gets around and let’s just say arms and legs don’t bend in three places for a reason.

Yeah, it begins on a funny note and evolves into WTF?! over the course of its twelve episodes. The manga is apparently still going on and it has two light novels. Competitive Harem Rapist still outmatches it by it’s sheer gratuitous sex and sexual assault scenes (everyone sins in that goddamn anime!!), but an animanga based around sex work and the various girls that can be found in the Red Light district… outclassed or not, I’d give it a watch. I saw it through to the end in 2021, and it’s worth a rewatch, especially for the opening:

Channel: mediafactory

Knowing what ecchi is now, it’s nice to see the ones that helped push the envelope, no matter how they age.

My Wife Was My Teacher

Forbidden love made into a comedy

Don’t let the title of this post deceive you, reader. This isn’t a sharp left turn into chronicling French President Emmanuel Macron’s married life, nor is it me announcing that I contacted an old teacher and got down on one knee for a short-lived matrimony. Instead, we’re diving back into my community college days where I watched an ecchi anime known only as Why the Hell Are You Here, Teacher!?

Known in Japanese as Nande Koko ni Sensei ga!?, the series is about a quartet of female high school teachers of different personalities and subjects who develop romantic feelings for their students. A slice of forbidden fruit that can’t work due to a power dynamic that this anime seems to have a lot of fun with and far from the only series animated or not to try this. Most other anime go the “incest = wincest” route of forbidden fruit. From what I’ve seen, there’s a bit of overlap between teacher-student romance and office worker romance, appearance-wise as both tend to feature smartly dressed love interests with professional presentations, but under scrutiny these “professionals” aren’t immune to clumsy f[clicks]k-ups from time to time.

What I remember from Sexy Teacher, Bombshell Wife was that the four teachers all behaved different in front of their respective classes compared to their love interests. Language teacher Kana Kojima was dubbed “Kojima the Demon” because she’s known to be demanding in class, but in front of her love interest, Ichiro Sato, she can behave just like Hinata Hyuga, albeit less creepy. Art teacher Mayu Matsukaze is a busty shortstack with a demure personality, affectionately nicknamed “Lady Matsukaze” for her kind personality. Cupid’s Arrow also makes a fool of her when she’s next to her love interest, the towering gentle giant Rin Suzuki who “helped” her deliver important paperwork. For romantic backstories, this is right up there with a comedic plot of being helped by the protagonist and the “help” in question was just a dropped pencil, or a notice of an untied shoe. Well, it’s simple…

Gym teacher Hikari Hazakura is a trademark, tanned, big tittied tomboy, the kind who’d encourage a novice swimmer to improve by starting at the deep end and giving an after action report, hoping to see her students become Michael Phelps. One student, Takashi Takahashi, is the one she gets real touchy-feely with. They later develop romantic feelings with each other. Finally, there’s the school nurse: a Kuudere named Rei Ayanami Chizuru Tachibana, who’s been dubbed “Absolute Zero,” and the nickname isn’t lost on her in the series. She wants to be closer to the students, notably one Ko Tanaka, and over the course of their arc, they grow so close they lose their virginities together in a love hotel. Going further than Kojima who was engaged to Sato at the end, a bonus chapter reveals that they started a family together. Obligatory, “silent in the streets, freaky in the sheets.”

Ecchi funtimes all around, but with most anime these days merely advertising the manga without guaranteeing a longer run, the anime covered four arcs spread across a miserable 12 episodes. We’re far and away from the likes of Azumanga Daioh and few are expecting a Yotsuba-to! adaptation anytime soon, but AzuDaioh was able to stretch and progress a four-panel manga over the course of 26 episodes in 2002.

But expanding on a romcom could ruin it, you’d argue and if The Way of the Househusband on Netflix is an indicator, then yes, putting effort where it isn’t needed and ignoring it where it is needed would’ve netted us a piss-poor adaptation of Yakuza Yesterday, Husbando Today. So why don’t I look back at Why Does My Teacher Want My Heart? as fondly as others? Largely because of its length.

I gave it some slack yonks ago when I watched it because it did make me laugh with the short time I had with it and also the horniness at the time was on autopilot. My braincells fired up at the end when all the teachers and love interests got together toward the end to announce that some of them were dating, engaged, married, or expecting.

And then it just ended. I didn’t know at precisely at the time, but with only 12 episodes, it felt like more could’ve done even with just the Fab Four and their Lovely Maidens. The source material even lists more than just the characters that got to the anime. So, is this a recommendation in favor of the series or not?

Again, the braincells were out to lunch while the horniness took command, but looking back it’s nothing more serious than a “haha look at this fanservice” gradually evolving into “you may now kiss the bride.” My post history is the evidence needed when I say that I’ve seen this s[bells]t before. It’s also evidence that I know what I like and while I’m not gonna say it wasn’t up my alley, if I’m gonna watch ecchi/fanservice/hentai, a plot can go a long way. Came for the booba, stayed for the story gambit and this may be part of the pipeline into erotic fiction, or it may have been a bit earlier than that… Hmmm…

I cannot say with certainty. For my recommendation, you’re more than welcome to see I Found My Wife in High School, and She Wasn’t a Fellow Classmate up to the last episode and continue in the manga to see what didn’t make the cut, it has 12 volumes and the anime was followed up with an OVA I haven’t seen in 2019. But for something somewhat more grounded, feel free to pair it with 2002’s Please Teacher!

Off topic, I simultaneously adore this old art style and can’t disassociate it from some hentai I’ve seen or read recently.

Happy 4th of July, fellow Americans!

Roguelike NSFW II: Erect Boogaloo

There’s a market for everything these days

Earlier this year in February, I wrote about an Adults Only game called Scarlet Maiden, about a scantily clad heroine on a quest to defeat the Prime Evil one lewdening at a time. Once again, under the Critical Bliss publishing flag, I’ve found another AO-rated 16-bit game about slashing mooks and exposing boobs but with an emphasis on magic. The game in question: FlipWitch – Forbidden Sex Hex:

Should’ve known there’d be a bunch of fanart when looking for the title screen for this game, short of booting it up for the screenshot…

As the Flip Witch under the tutelage of a great witch named Beatrix, you’re main objective is to defeat the Chaos Witch, an Egypt-themed triclops witch messing with you and all the creatures of the land from her very own castle behind a door with six unique pyramid-shaped locks. To get them all, you have to traverse different realms and defeat the bosses to get the keys. Depending on your level, you’ll either eat dirt and be shown a game over screen where the monsters of a specific realm have their way with you, or you’ll blaze through relatively unscathed. This time, I’m torn over whether to conclude that this game uses permadeath as a feature since it doesn’t have a lives’ system, but on the other hand, there’s designated save points where you gain everything you used during your playthrough, crystal teleporters to fast travel between places you’ve been and a health restoration-like system in the form of a peach that gets upgraded with each quest you complete.

Speaking of quests, Beatrix’s secondary focus is to partake in such quests for health and magic upgrades. Some of these are found interspersed across the game enlarging your health and magic bars so that you can use more, to include the more taxing magic items, and others are gained by completing a certain number of quests. Reaching said number adds a little notification in the form of Beatrix’s sprite in the upper righthand corner to let you know that upgrades are available.

More quests mean more upgrades until you max everything out and steamroll the monsters like a one-man army. Or more like one man and one woman, both of which are you. The “flip” in FlipWitch refers to your ability to switch genders at will, an acquired skill that factors both into the quests and the game over screens, so male or female, something is gonna rise and ain’t gonna be a shield hero.

Didn’t even have to censor this one.

Combat this time around doesn’t give you the option to sex up a monster for upgrade points like Sin in Scarlet Maiden or even to add to the bestiary. For the most part, the monsters are more or less segregated to their own designated parts of the game map. For instance, only goblins roam the woodlands, demons stay in the demon realm of Jigoku, mermaids are in Umi Umi, etc., etc. and they all have their own unique game over screens for when you die and for what gender you were when you died.

The weapon variety is also limited to just your wand as opposed to any number of swords and other fantasy weapons like in Scarlet Maiden. Not to mention, the only enemy-types that do show genitalia are the female enemy types. The males do show d[spurt!]k, but often after the game over screen. So unlike Scarlet Maiden, the BDSM term “switch” has a different context. A more literal context. Where the game lacks weapon variety, it makes up for it in magic variety, by giving you more magical powers to use against enemies. The wand is capable of firing projectiles and select characters of different types that don’t give you quests give you different magic powers to use which require short tutorials to get the hang of.

As for the quests, the standard format they use is go to place, get quest, deliver thing to X, get sexy rewards. Like so:

The one twist these types of quests use is that specific costumes need to be bought with the coins you acquire through gameplay. Different costumes unlock different quests for different variations of a similar reward (sexy times), which ties into the whole Metroidvania aspect the game advertises. Nonlinear gameplay allowing for backtracking to important locations with new knowledge and more rewards and potential upgrades to finally defeat the Chao Witch…!

…which I’m very close to doing as of this writing. I’m so close!!

Recommendations? Give it a go. There’s keyboard controls like in Scarlet Maiden, but unless you’ve got the fingers for it, plug in a controller. Do what I did and program a PS3 controller to read like an Xbox controller; it’ll work the same. The fact that I’m very close to 100% completion and very close to defeating the Chaos Witch should all the recommendation needed for this game. The controls will feel slightly more sluggish at the beginning, but once you get used to it, especially after Scarlet Maiden’s fluidity and — for lack of a better term — bounciness, it’s pretty much a breeze. Currently on sale for the Summer Steam sales, but even not, $15 is a pretty good deal.