This post had a different title in my notes, but I figure the current title was a much better one than what I originally had. Last week, I wrote about a rape and revenge animanga series where the morally dark gray protagonist renamed his penis Divine Punishment and used it to add more and more women to his sadistic fantasy harem in an effort to take down a morally nonexistent kingdom. This time, I’ve got a manga that follows similar story beats, but the question isn’t about consent, but about kinks and the supposed absence of lines to draw.
Gigguk was right; animanga has been moving gradually towards the “I can’t believe it’s not hentai” genre as of late. A not insignificant portion of my reading and viewing experience either plays with pornographic content or just practically walks up to me and says, “Nice shoes, wanna f[clash!]k?”
The series in question is I May Be a Villainess, But Please Make Me Your Sex Slave, Japanese title Akuyaku Reijou desu ga, Watashi o Anata no Seidorei ni Shite Kudasai! and it wears its premise on its sleeve and in its chapters. Most online manga viewing sites like MangaDex, for instance, have 10 chapters translated so far, and I’m eagerly awaiting updates. This post may be shorter than the rest so I may bring it up again if we get more. It follows the isekai tropes we all know and love, but the protagonist, Kaito, isn’t Kazuma Sato or Keyaru/Keyaruga. He begins the series as the servant to a duchess named Christina “Chris” Febster, a.k.a. the silver-haired girl whose image graces the cover of the manga.
She begins the manga in a role similar to My Next Life as a Villainess’ Kata(baka)rina Claes or From Bureaucrat to Villainess’ Grace Auvergne/Kenzaburo Tondabayashi. Icy, vain, unforgiving, cruel; think of every negative thing said about Mandy from Billy and Mandy during the Keeper of the Reaper episode.
A single smirk puts her into the Powerpuff Girls’ universe, I s[buzzing]t you not.
So Duchess Chris Febster’s attitude is so distasteful and inappropriate that her fiance calls off the engagement. Protagonist Kaito feels like a failure understandably as her personal servant attempting to avoid the Otome game doom flags (these have been popping up a lot as of late, I guess I should add otome games into the pipeline if I can find any in English). Kaito expected he and Chris to face the worst of the worst of outcomes, but in a twist not only is she relieved to be free from her noble status, she U-turns into the world of sexual deviancy.
Kaito grew up next to Chris and while this reincarnated young man grew to accept his role as a loyal servant, Chris had grown attached and at one point in her past asked about how to sexually satisfy a man. Following up on that, she requests (read: demands) to become subservient to Kaito’s penis in a sort of role reversal… or role… correction…? Normally, role reversal is when traditional gender roles are flipped on their head (working wife, house husband structure), but this is flipping the roles back on their feet.
It’s the opposite of this, and far smuttier.
So, Kaito accepts and Chris is arguably too proud to be a nun in this Church of D[whistles]k. As for the base of the story, by day, Kaito and Chris are slaying monsters and conquering dungeons in a typical fantasy adventure and, by night, Kaito plays along to Chris’ strange addiction and reinforces her infatuation as a pervert.
I mentioned this isn’t a hentai, right? And yet it’s structured like it would have the corresponding tags. So far, there’s not an ugly bastard yet, but I just wanna show you all what its categorized under.
Erotica tracks, but romance… I’m exaggerating, there’s a bunch of freaky couples out there and considering the recent chapters have roleplay in them, these tags give the author free reign to put whatever is in so long as it gets readers.
So, this manga, I felt, was more honest than Revenge of the Rapist due to its title alone and ironically I find it tamer largely because the parties consented to the arrangement, but it’s still strange that Chris needs to tell everyone with ears that her purpose in life is to take Kaito’s d[squirt!]k. Is this why I like it more? Honestly… yes. I did give some amount of praise for Angry Penis, but this time around I give more praise to the 10 chapters of Punish Me With Your Penis, Master largely for the consent aspect, and also because the protagonists weren’t victims of the most corrupt, vile, wicked people to ever exist nor were they so evil they didn’t realize a demon was in the mirror. Actually, there’s little showing of Christina’s villainy and more of Kaito being a servant/butler type. Even he didn’t expect to suddenly be a Penis Master, but here he is, f[gunshot]king Chris’ brains out because she’s down horrendous.
Now, this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I’m still uneasy about Redo of Healer after eight episodes and at times, I feel that All Hail My Master’s Howitzer gets into ridiculous territory, but away from all of that, the chapters are usually somewhere around 30 pages on average. A majority of the panels, in some way, feature the two main leads f[wood planks]king like they’re the last two people on earth, and one of the tags that should be considered is comedy because they f[hoot]k so loud that it can wake up the dead.
Source: Chapter 5, Page 23.
This is one of the tamer pages I could find. Before you is the face of a woman who secretly always wanted to live the life of a whore. Spoiler alert: she gets that and more.
I’m not even kink-shaming or kink-asking like I did last time. I wanna see more of this and I hate that we currently only have 10 chapters. If you so choose to read this yourself, MangaDex is my recommended go to for the lack of ads on the sides. The site did suffer from a DMCA and several series were scrubbed in some capacity, some wholesale. You’re more than welcome to find a different underground manga hosting site for your viewing pleasure. Actually, disregard my summary of this series, the meme below is a better summary:
Out-of-schedule topics haven’t been a thing on this blog in over two months since I wrote about BLACK TORCH rising from the grave. The next topic will cover an anime I was really on the fence about watching, so take this one as a calm before the storm, so to speak. And thankfully one I’d been looking forward to for years.
I’ve written about this manga before in the past, so here’s the cliffnotes version: college student Koichi Haimawari doesn’t fit the bill to be an officially licensed hero and so moonlights as Nice Guy in his neighborhood, as a sort of friendly neighborhood Spider-Man sans the tragic death of a popular brand of rice. One night, he and wannabe popstar idol, Pop-Step get jumped by a roving band of misfits and saved by this universe’s answer to Batman with a dash of Frank Castle sprinkled in.
Keep in mind, that that’s how the manga begins. The rest of the story covers a pivotal plot detail in the main storyline involving the Shie Hassaikai Yakuza’s use of an experimental Quirk-altering drug called Trigger, used to boost an individual’s Quirk to often disastrous results. The main tell that someone’s been using it is through their tongues, leaving them stained black from overuse. The main structure of Vigilantes is that the Pro-Heroes often can’t or (according to Stain) won’t stop smaller slice-of-life crimes as they’re expected to, so vigilantes tend to pick up the slack though under the cloak of darkness because vigilantism is illegal.
The hero system in this universe is used to denote what makes a villain, not a hero. Strict boundaries are put on heroes to stay within the law and legal limits, but villains and vigilantes aren’t bound by the same obligation. Even though a vigilante can cover a hero’s blindspots, not all of them subscribe to the same heroic ethos that binds most ordinary Pros so the legal system sees them as villains too, even though vigilantism birthed this same system. This is explained by one of Koichi’s senpai, Makoto Tsukauchi.
I’d highlight these as spoilers, but they’re more an explanation of the hero system as portrayed in all MHA media, adding nuance to a picture portrayed as black and white. Obligatory, honorable thieves, untrustworthy law enforcement; we’ve seen it all before, but to apply to superheroes tilts the picture significantly. The anime debuted last month and as of writing this is currently at eight episodes.
I cannot say for certain how many episodes or seasons it will have, but considering the cultural phenomenon MHA has become as a franchise in the last decade, it’s more than just a welcome addition to the franchise as a whole. It also fills in a few missing plot points from the original as a prequel set two years before Midoriya and Bakugo step off for UA High.
Going off the first episode, the anime opening follows the art style of the manga sticking closer to its western comic inspiration than the original does. Observe below:
Channel: TOHO Animation チャンネル
Studio BONES doesn’t miss a beat. Establishing shots of all the characters present, stylistic choices and art direction to fit them all with their appropriate themes – Koichi is shown using his Slide and Glide Quirk with the animation beginning with All Might and ending with Knuckleduster to show he’s gonna be different than his idol; Pop-Step dancing first with silhouettes of herself before they’re supplanted with fans who take heavy inspiration from Cyclops and Wolverine especially; and Knucklduster appropriately left an enigma for an upcoming reveal that manga readers already know. I made a promise not to spoil anything until we get there, so my lips are sealed and I will not ruin the surprise. The internet’s gonna lose it, I swear on it.
It sets up the anime well and I once again have to come to terms with simuldub. Growing up, most anime would take years to dub in English, let alone a different language from Japanese. Nowadays, thanks to social media, budding voice actors can contact dubbing studios, showcase their talents and through some other methods the public won’t see, they may be considered for certain roles. Voice actors have more insight into how this works, so don’t look to me for gospel in this aspect. I’m not a voice actor.
For what it’s worth though, the English VAs get the tone of voice really well. Kudos to their director. Confession: I was imagining the voices of Koichi, Pop, and Knuckleduster to be some variation of Todd Haberkorn, Kari Wahlgren, and Christopher Sabat respectively, though that may just be my own fantasy. Natsu Dragneel, Haruko Haruhara, and Piccolo walk into a bar… well, that’s just a fanfic now, but the manga gave a lot of leeway to imagine their voices until they were confirmed. Instead of legacy, the industry is giving rise to new faces. They don’t exactly have any household recognition yet like the aforementioned, but the grind of voice acting should put them on the map for future projects.
Credit: u/LolyHumter, r/TrashTaste
Characters this time are more varied and complex being on the older side. In the case of Koichi, with him being in college as opposed to high school, he’s shown to be much less insecure of his Quirk than Deku was. Granted, he wasn’t Quirkless at the outset, but we see the differences in a protagonist with a recently acquired Quirk and a protagonist who was born with one. Also being older makes him somewhat more humble in my eyes. Deku still has admirable goals, but I recall in the first episode how foolish several people thought he was wanting to be a Quirkless hero, until All Might saw him in action. I like underdog stories as much as the next guy, but there’s something refreshing about a character who doesn’t think about their powers all that much, merely using it as another tool in their arsenal.
Pop-Step is written completely differently than Uraraka. Not wanting to be a hero for the sake of her family or thinking that much about heroics on the whole. She already uses her Quirk for impromptu concerts so it’d be a bit ridiculous of her to try, although in the Vigilantes storyline, she technically is one by proxy. As the youngest one, she’s in high school being hinted at being around 16 or 17 years old (despite what some online have been saying, especially concerning her choice of costume).
Those tights are an anime addition. Beneath that in the manga it’s all skin. The manga art shows more funny enough.
Lore-wise, this was her choice, but character design-wise, sometimes you gotta look at the writers and wonder…
But why get anal (no pun intended) about character designs? Manga readers know that Midnight used to look like this:
This costume design caused lawmakers to rewrite acceptable costume laws. If it wasn’t for that, a good portion of her career would be even more scandalous than it probably already is.
Kazuho Haneyama is instead very tsundere-coded. She’ll lend a helping hand and use her online influence to implore her loyal fans to keep a keen eye for Trigger users and encourage them to stay away from it. I’ve talked before briefly about my thoughts on East Asian idol culture, but if there’s an argument in favor of it, it can positively influence followers of a certain idol to raise awareness where it’s necessary. So Kazuho means well, but the tsuntsun comes out a lot when in close proximity to Koichi who unfortunately falls for a lot of the same traps that most would in his position when next to a tsundere. But she at least didn’t become the same type of Shonen female the genre’s been stuck with for decades.
I’m not as hostile to her as others have been, but Part I left a lot to be desired.
Finally, there’s Knuckleduster whose backstory is so heavy it needs to be shipped on a transpacific cargo ship. So keeping in line with where the anime is, he’s a dark gray character who lives up to the Batman comparisons even more than he lets on. Not to mention his first encounter with Shota Aizawa – better known as Erasure Hero: Eraserhead – shows that even pure adrenaline and energy can leave even the Pros tapping out for a breath of air. Coupled with the rest of his screen time and that brief encounter with just Aizawa reveals a few things about them. 1. Next to his first encounter with Koichi and Soga Kugisaki, you get more clues that he’s done this type of thing before, most likely in a past life; 2. The Pros shouldn’t rely so much on their Quirks for work, because they’ll eventually meet a villain or worse who’ll give them a run for their money (see the Paranormal Liberation War arc for more details); 3. Without endorsing his methods, Stain has a point about the Pros. Save for All Might, far too many heroes never know what they’re up against until they meet a Sisyphean endeavor, like the War arc in the main series.
On a final note, this post should be even more persuasion to check out the series in whatever medium you see fit. It’s still airing on Crunchyroll as I write this, so if you have the means to do so, check out it there. Or if you can’t or won’t for personal reasons (I won’t judge, and I can’t considering what I’ve been talking about for the better part of two-and-a-half years), you already know what I’m gonna say.
Animanga came to the western Anglophone world in the early 1960s with Osamu Tezuka’s magnum opus Astro Boy, and about 20 years later came Dragon Ball and its more famous successor Dragon Ball Z, both penned by Akira Toriyama. Since then, the floodgates have introduced not only more anime to follow, but also different ways in which one defines a certain era.
If you’re a weeb/otaku like myself, you can probably point to pivotal series of each decade. Dragon Ball in the 1980s; Ghost in the Shell, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Cowboy Bebop of the ’90s; Clannad, Azumanga Daioh, Lucky Star, and K-On! across the 2000s; Sword Art Online, Attack on Titan, Date A Live, Kill la Kill and Is it Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? of the 2010s; and finally this decade, we’ve had Keep Your Hands off Eizouken, Oshi no Ko, Bocchi the Rock, Jujutsu Kaisen and several more slated for release this decade.
Basically what I’m saying is that different anime define a decade. The 2000s in anime was defined by the moeblob, where many animanga series ascribed to a cutesy art-style and theme. Not just in character design, the characters themselves did things “cutely” too. Or rather, they did normal things in a cute way. They didn’t fight monsters or go on fantastical journeys or acquire magic relics. Often they attended their daily lives which overwhelmingly revolved around high school. Joining the moe trifecta of Azumanga Daioh and Lucky Star comes K-On! A series about an extracurricular club centered around light music.
It starts in a nonspecific part of Japan (since the mangaka Kakifly is from Kyoto, I’m gonna imagine it’s somewhere in Kansai), four high school girls become a part of an after school music club in order to save it from disbandment. The four main leads are Yui Hirasawa, the ditsiest, silliest guitarist in the series; Mio Akiyama, the lead guitarist afflicted with stage fright; Ritsu Tainaka, the loudest girl even without a drum kit; and Tsumugi “Mugi” Kotobuki, the rich and physically strong one on keyboard.
For a series dedicated to light music, the actual musicmaking takes a backseat to the girls simply goofing off after school. There is musicmaking but a given estimate would put it at somewhere near 35 to 40% of the actual screentime, across both seasons. Not to mention, this is still a series that debuted in the 2000s, so music players like the iPod and digital song downloading wouldn’t be as popular and prominent as opposed to cassette tapes, Walkmans and the like. Even then, keep in mind, these then-new devices wouldn’t look like anything what we have nowadays. Touchscreens and smart devices have come a long way.
From what I’ve seen though, analog tech is one of the few ways the series shows its age and that’s merely 16 years old, in line with the corresponding ages of the characters at the beginning. Come the second season, they gain a fifth member, the pigtailed rhythm guitarist, Azusa “Azunyan” Nakano, who takes her role as guitarist more seriously than Yui or even Ritsu does with her drums. You’ll notice that at this point in this post, I haven’t mentioned plot and this ties in with including the likes of Lucky Star and AzuDaioh in that all three have the same basic plot: f[guitar riff]k and all.
Gigguk, at the time, was less forgiving of the anime as a whole, with most episodes in some manner boiling down to goofing off with a cup of tea, something that didn’t really jive with him, which may be in some way related to his musical past.
In contrast, Gigguk’s good buddy Joey “The Anime Man” Bizinger favors K-On! over Bocchi the Rock, and that’s an opinion I hold though not for the same reasons as Joey. I don’t doubt the existence of people that stiflingly shy; part of it has to do with everyone praising it at the first hurdle. Perhaps for Gigguk, there’s more realism to Bocchi than K-On! and I can’t do much with either man’s opinions on the show.
For what it’s worth, he did warm up to it after a few years have passed though not by much. For me, ignoring outside influences and the layman’s opinion on one or the other, I haven’t seen Bocchi yet and I don’t think I will, at least not this year. I had trouble wading through the first episode of WataMote, but at least Bocchi’s not a sleep-deprived femcel.
For me, this puts Tomoko one flight of stairs lower than Bocchi, at least in the beginning. I’m not really one for cringe humor.
On its own, K-On! gives me the impression that it’s not trying to take itself seriously in the slightest. It’s not exactly a comedy like AzuDaioh or Lucky Star and fortunately for it, the jokes aren’t subject to translation mishaps like the former. I humbly accept it as a show about high school friends goofing off outside their club activities and their studies.
Is this why I like it? Well, call it a palate cleanser from all the one-piece finding, dragon-ball hunting, Hokage-aspiring, soul-reaping action of most Shonen series. I don’t always want action, sometimes I just wanna kick back, grab a drink of my choosing, and watch people somewhat like me just screw around. If this isn’t a convincing argument to at least check out some of the first season, consider the uncommon music scenes. Adding music or musical anything as a genre type to a series means adding some original scores and music to the series beyond the opening and ending music, both of which are impressive in their own right. Select scenes in the anime dazzle with the change in lighting and art aesthetic giving it an animated music video feel which is not necessarily the same as an AMV, though it does set itself up for that. I did some quick googling and there are some AMVs with K-On! as the main animation piece, and the series has produced some original songs, so it’s not the most devoid of music, but it could’ve benefitted from a few more scenes at the end of a few episodes.
You can still enjoy the series for being all warm and fuzzy but for those of you who want a series dedicated to musicmaking, my recommendation there goes into Beat & Motion. It’s coupled with a look in animation so it feels more like an AMV-centric manga.
No word yet on whether it’s been slated for an anime, but if it is, yes please. I want more.
The final part of this Legacy Video Game Trilogy concludes with a hard reboot that still has the sensibilities to pay homage to the most awkward yet charmingly nostalgic part of its existence. So to recap: MK Deadly Alliance gave us an ungodly pairing in the two sorcerers Quan Chi and Shang Tsung, whose combined strength and abilities gave them the leverage to revive the Dragon King’s Army and wreak havoc on all the realms, without Shao Kahn f[screams]king them over or Liu Kang stopping them.
Not without Raiden’s intervention and before I continue on that, I had time to watch some MK 4 endings and in both Raiden’s and Fujin’s endings, Raiden accepts ascension to the position of Elder God while Fujin replaces him as Protector of Earthrealm. Raiden chose him as a successor and Fujin accepted it. But in Deadly Alliance, Fujin doesn’t appear until 2006’s Armageddon. Plot-hole? Not so. On the production side of things, the devs didn’t think Fujin had the recognition and popularity as the Thunder God so they put him back in this game in arguably one of his better looks.
Canonically, 7 feet tall.
Lore-wise, the death of Liu Kang made all the difference. Fujin hasn’t been demoted by way of a performance review; it’s just that Raiden’s attachment to half of his Shaolin Monk disciples influenced his decision to step down and see the fall of the Deadly Alliance personally. I don’t completely see this as an official source, since it came from r/MortalKombat and I wasn’t there when they were developing the game for release in 2002, but I’m glad I did.
Anyway, Raiden saw to it personally to essentially raise a militia of Earth’s best allies and defenders to destroy the Deadly Alliance. They failed, so much so that nearly all of them had become sacrifices for the undead army. Come Deception time, Raiden stood as the final bastion between freedom and conquest. At his defeat, the partnership between Quan Chi and Shang Tsung effectively evaporated and with the holder of Shinnok’s amulet (namely Quan Chi) being the one who can control the army, the two fight in Shang Tsung’s palace… and are immediately greeted by Onaga himself, coming to reclaim his rightful army that he knew was in the hands of the sorcerers.
The wiki explains that the Amulet has control over the army somehow (Boon and Tobias must’ve skipped that step), but its power and influence are superseded by Onaga’s heart. So you know you’re f[metal clanking]ked when the undead soldiers you painstakingly spent so much time and effort to revive, bow to their original master and not you. That reminds me of a Martin Mystery episode where an evil wizard attempts to revive Qin Shi Huang and the terracotta army only to realize that Emperor Qin was the furthest thing from a stable ruler and that in the show the terracotta army was created to keep the old emperor from getting out.
Misplaced balance of power and all that, Quan Chi, Shang Tsung, and Raiden temporarily work together to destroy Onaga, but two sorcerers and a temporary Elder God aren’t enough to destroy Onaga. Raiden’s last ditch effort doesn’t even dent him and worse he has the Kamidogu and Shinnok’s Amulet. He doesn’t need that for the army, but he does need it to merge the Kamidogu into one and morph into the One Being from which the realms were created. Oof, heavy stuff, huh?
By Armageddon time, it’s become apparent that the warriors in the realms are too aware of the forces that created them, and the Elder Gods consult with Argus and Delia, the Protectors of Edenia, to seek a solution so that none can threaten existence again. Argus suggested death, Delia suggested annulment, and so millennia ago, they created the firespawn Blaze so that his death in Mortal Kombat could bring about one of these outcomes, but a cascading effect seen over the course of the games led to an unintended outcome: even distribution of power. Not to mention, part of this plan was a quest which would test which of Argus’ and Delia’s sons, Taven and Daegon, would handily succeed them. The rules of primogeniture determined Taven the successor as the older brother, but Blaze was kidnapped and enslaved by Onaga’s holy men to guard the last dragon egg.
Blaze kept constant mental contact with their guardian dragons, Orin and Caro, but when he was kidnapped, that contact was lost and Caro mistakenly revived Daegon earlier than expected, kicking off much of the plot of the 3D era of games. At this revelation, Taven’s quest morphed from competition to a race to become the successor of Argus, seeing as the alternative was the Edenian equivalent of Shao Kahn. And they already had that… in the form of Shao Kahn!
Some of the endings, once again, connect as Taven is rewarded while Daegon is punished in Daegon’s ending. Raiden’s is a culmination of what he endured from Deadly Alliance to this, and Shao Kahn’s ending flows nearly seamlessly into the intro for Mortal Kombat 9. Rather than Taven become a full-god and see the failure of the quest, Shao Kahn ascended to the top of the Pyramid of Argus to defeat Blaze. In Armageddon, it was shown that Dark Raiden struck a deal with Outworld to spare Earthrealm if Raiden stopped Taven and Daegon from completing their quest. Something Light Raiden would NEVER do, even in desperation.
The opening cinematic of MK9 shows that this didn’t pan out as he’d hoped, seeing as Shao Kahn unsurprisingly reneged on that deal and used his newfound godhood to pummel Raiden before Raiden used his last moments to relay a message to his past self. The overarching crux of the message being “don’t become me,” but the most important one being “He must win,” where Past Raiden spends the game finding out who “he” refers to.
Thus, this game in the HD timeline redoes the first three MK games. The first third of the game is a near-mirror of the previous 1992 one, even with Sub-Zero’s death at Scorpion’s hands. And like the original it ends with Liu Kang’s victory in Mortal Kombat, but the intended outcome worsens the damage in Raiden’s amulet. It cracked when Raiden received the original “he must win” message and the course of the game shows it getting worse and worse.
The second third of the game is essentially a different Mortal Kombat II, and much so. Shang Tsung still got reduced to that of a fighter like in the original, but rather than it being simply a punishment for failure, the sorcerer convinced Shao Kahn to move the tournament to Outworld and fight on their terms. Raiden obviously said no, but this was less of an agreement between equals and more of a demand from a tyrant who forced his hand by unleashing Baraka’s Tarkatan horde on the Wu Shi Academy.
And that game is fantastic if you ignore its writing.
Forced to compete now on Shao Kahn’s terms, Raiden and the gaggle of Earthrealm warriors he’s recruited go to Outworld but also to investigate the real source of the cracks in the amulet and discover why Raiden’s efforts are failing fate. One of several notable changes here is that instead of Smoke becoming a cyborg like before, that becomes the fate of the new Sub-Zero Kuai Liang. If you recall, in the old timeline, Noob and Sub-Zero were brothers. Noob the more ruthless of the two when he was Grandmaster seeing as he led the charge against the Shirai Ryu and slaughtered them wholesale, but was further blamed for the murder of Scorpion’s family.
This didn’t change in the new timeline and Noob (originally Bi-Han) is still brutal, and is still innocent of the death of Harumi and Satoshi Hasashi. Nevertheless, Quan Chi pulling the strings from the sidelines once again birthed Noob Saibot and, in this timeline, Cyber Sub-Zero. Meanwhile, the tournament in Outworld commences and if you’ve ever played the original MKII and made it that far, you’ll notice that Kano and Sonya Blade are shackled in the background of the arena. This time around, Kano has no reason to be Shao Kahn’s prisoner since he’d sold him the Black Dragon’s service and arsenal, and Sonya was freed by Johnny Cage, Raiden, and Jax. Kitana, though, getting ideas from the Thunder God, investigated Shang Tsung’s flesh pits to discover her hybrid clone Mileena. With Kitana being the last remnant of Edenia’s ruling family, Shao Kahn’s plan in this and the other timeline was to replace Kitana with a loyal daughter.
Shao Kahn loses his Outworld tournament, but the future remains unchanged largely because of Quan Chi and his hidden agenda seeing as he hastens Shao Kahn’s recovery, revives and essentially reprograms Sindel to be evil, and kicked off an invasion of Earthrealm itself. Previously, Shao Kahn could never do this due to Sindel’s ward keeping him from setting foot there, but her revival and Quan Chi’s spell over her psyche making her more receptive to Shao Kahn’s tactics, lifts that barrier.
Raiden recruits even more warriors to defend Earth and repel the invasion, but finds failure after failure in the last third of this game’s glorified HD remake of Mortal Kombat 3. Kabal joins up, Cyber Sub-Zero is reprogrammed, Noob Saibot is defeated, but Raiden’s attempts at repelling Shao Kahn’s advances fail each time. Finally, he goes straight to the Elder Gods themselves who prove equally worthless in this timeline, barely batting an eye at Shao Kahn’s atrocities quoting: “Invasion itself is not a transgression, it is the merger of realms that is proscribed.” A distinction without a difference fallacy that the almighty Elder Gods fail to see themselves. Sort of like granting rights based not on race but on wealth.
In the time it took for the Elder Gods to heroically sit it out until the eleventh hour, Sindel herself decimated the defenders in no time, even her daughter. Johnny and Sonya got through with only bruises and so Earth’s final defenders were reduced to a four-man team, very much to Liu Kang’s growing resentment at Raiden’s ad hoc decision making.
Remember how I said, Light Raiden would never strike a deal with Shao Kahn to spare Earth? Well, those words are looking mighty delicious right about now as it seems that he’s about to bargain for Quan Chi’s participation to stop Shao Kahn, offering his soul and those of the fallen. But Quan Chi being a necromancer, he already has their souls in possession and after battling their revenants, Raiden realizes once again at the apex of destruction that evil needs to get within a stone’s throw of victory before the Elder Gods show themselves. “He must win” meant Shao Kahn merging the realms illegally. Mortal Kombat being the magical arbitration to decide this, violating it through conquest finally gets the Elder Gods to pass judgment and punishment.
This comes with protest from Liu Kang, who falls for the same pitfalls, as the original Raiden and doggedly vows to stand against Shao Kahn even in futilely. It costs him his life and true to his vision, Raiden does allow Shao Kahn to enter Earthrealm undeterred, feigning submission in an effort to get the Elder Gods to act, though not without taking his hits. Fans have called out Raiden for this foolishness, but across the game it shows how much he’s being put to the test. You can’t pass malice onto him for trying so hard to keep everyone alive and Earthrealm undamaged by Shao Kahn’s poison.
The pyrrhic victory gives us a glimpse into what comes in the next game. Mortal Kombat X (technically Roman numeral for 10) immediately follows the post-invasion chaos of Shao Kahn’s entry into Earthrealm. With Shinnok and Quan Chi leading coordinated attacks, Johnny, Sonya, and Kenshi (who made a glorious comeback in the new timeline even for a guest appearance in the last game) lead the charge from the ground while Raiden and Fujin intercept Quan Chi and Shinnok at the Sky Tower, home of Earth’s energy forces in the form of the Jinsei chamber.
They even meet the remnant versions of friends long passed, under the service of Quan Chi. With Shinnok now freed from the Netherrealm and facing the Earthrealm forces personally, like the other games we reach the apex of near destruction, but in a deus ex machina twist, Johnny Cage follows up from his character arc in the last game and becomes the unlikely hero we didn’t know we needed.
Yeah, one thing you’ll notice over the course of just MK9 is that while Johnny understands the gravity of the situation before him, writing it off as but a simple competition, his tone and attitude changes with each chapter. Meanwhile, Liu Kang is the one who grows further disillusioned and rightfully so. Witnessed the death of his best friend, tended to his wounded comrades, saw the Elder Gods sit by and let s[neighs]t unfold in unflattering ways, and he was witness to Master Raiden reach desperate levels to save Earth. I can’t say whether he would’ve had the same reaction in the original timeline if he lived to see it all since Shang Tsung killed him in Deadly Alliance. But if Taven’s reaction in Armageddon’s Konquest mode is any indicator, Dark Raiden was brilliant in how unexpected it was at the time, and it was after the sixth main installment where Raiden went off the deep end. Does he show up again here outside of a flashback? We’re getting to that.
After his defeat at Johnny’s hands, Shinnok is sealed within his own talisman, begging the question somewhat of why he’d have it, but going by the rules of a gun, it’s not designed to have any loyalty. The amulet is also incapable of being destroyed, so the most they can do is closely guard it round the clock, which they continually do for the next 25 years, after which the remaining combatants have moved on with their lives and the like.
Trauma bonding pushed Johnny and Sonya close enough to marry, reproduce, and divorce in that time frame over which we learn that their daughter, Cassie, has felt stuck between two worlds: Hollywood brat or military brat? Which seems like a really unique childhood to have though not necessarily envy. One lifestyle has you hounded by paparazzi for room temperature IQ tabloids, and the other has you moving at the same time as your parents depending on the needs of the branch of service, provided the marriage is strong enough to get through the military.
Then again, Jax’s daughter may have the comparatively more enviable of these two. Jacqui Briggs isn’t explicitly stated to be a military brat herself, but she more than likely has the hallmarks of one if we dissect the finer details. Unlike Cassie, Jacqui’s mother is simply an unseen NPC who most likely passed away long before the start of the game. For Jax, he, Scorpion, and Sub-Zero were the revenants who helped to defend Quan Chi’s lair during a raid by the Special Forces. In that particular mission, Johnny nearly died, but Sonya beat the piss outta Quan Chi while Raiden reversed the spell that would’ve created remnant Johnny Cage. Quan Chi’s defeat brought Jax, Scorpion, and Sub-Zero back to life and already this quasi-Mortal Kombat 4 is markedly different from the original in more ways than simply graphics.
Kenshi himself had a son named Takeda, and from the Kung family comes Lao’s cousin, Kung Jin. The MK kids are meant to be the new bloods though the fan reception was mixed to put it lightly. They’re tasked with assuring all of Earthrealm’s bonds and alliances and aiding Kotal Kahn, the new ruler and admittedly usurper of Outworld causing a civil war between himself and those loyal to Mileena who was chosen to succeed Shao Kahn after the Elder Gods ate him.
I personally like his portrayal and physical appearance, being Aztec inspired. Character-wise, he’s not a conqueror like Shao Kahn or power-hungry like Onaga. To use real political terms, he gives me “populist, isolationist” vibes. That said, he doesn’t really do away with Shao Kahn’s old policies like the liberal use of execution. He also keeps his own cabinet of characters old and new. The civil war between him and Mileena revealed everyone’s true colors. Without his original masters, Ermac defected. As did Reptile, suggesting he never respected Mileena very much as a construct of Edenian flesh and Tarkatan blood. The ones willing to serve Mileena as Kahnum of Outworld boil down to Tanya, who returns (yay!), Baraka, who doesn’t (boo!), Rain who isn’t DLC this time around *throws controller into next week*, and Kano, who’s loyalty is for rent. He’s still a treacherous money-hungry thug, but I doubt he’s as foolish as last time, even after a quarter-century sending Black Dragon-brand brutality to both sides to come out on top regardless… like Simeon Weisz in Lord of War.
Maybe I should review movies again, I’ve been watching a handful of them as of late.
I like the intricacies of this civil war so far, but they’re better experienced than explained, especially seeing as Kotal wins out over Mileena and immediately turns on the Kombat Kids for the greater good in his words. Between scares and enemy espionage, Kotal Kahn concluded that Earthrealm can’t be trusted to safeguard the amulet so it’s in the best interest of Outworld and the rest of existence if Outworld held onto it until Raiden could set his priorities straight.
Meanwhile, one of Kotal’s most trusted, D’Vorah, a Kytinn bug woman is revealed to be a disciple of Quan Chi and servant of Shinnok. Sonya resorts to bringing Jax out of retirement as a means to get Earth’s defenders back into the light and out from Netherrealm’s influence. This goes on for the last quarter of the game, though with significant trouble in the way. Jax helps apprehend Quan Chi, but this is short-lived when Scorpion learns from Sub-Zero that the mastermind behind his agony came from within the Lin Kuei. Seeing as the original Sub-Zero was also a victim, the trend of “inside job conspiracies” reappears in this game to haunt Hanzo Hasashi ’til the end of days.
Ever played the GTA IV mission where you bust out one of Derrick’s old friends only to blow his brains out? Similar thing here, Scorpion breaks into a military prison to kill Quan Chi who uses his last breath to summon Shinnok behind enemy lines. With D’Vorah’s aid, they invade the sky temple again, trap Raiden and infect the Jinsei chamber, with less effort than the initial invasion 25 years ago. And since Shinnok is a petty little bitch, he imprisons Johnny too. As Dark Shinnok, the fallen Elder God becomes Raiden’s worst nightmare.
At this point, the Kombat Kids have broken out of imprisonment and returned to Earth right as this all unfolds and stand as the last beacon of hope for Earth, a role Raiden played in Deception before turning dark himself.
Every time Mortal Kombat gets Dark Raiden, they chicken out before they can use him. The most action he gets is his own ending in Armageddon where he obliterates all realms except Earth to destroy all outside threats to Earth. MK X teased him at the end with a stern warning to the Netherrealm under new leadership to not even think about trying anything or they’ll share Shinnok’s fate.
Dark Raiden is a major part of the first two chapters or so of MK 11, but thanks to time travel shenanigans, he’s written out before he can exercise the fullest extent of his wrath. The mission from MK X is more or less complete with Shinnok defeated though I doubt Raiden was forthcoming with his fate. Not to mention, the villain this time around is the titan Kronika who masters an hourglass that writes the fates of all. I’m pretty sure I’ve played this trope before.
Time travel shenanigans aside, MK 11 takes away the heavy lifting Raiden would’ve done to protect Earthrealm by simply bringing everyone back from when they were at their best. This game does have a DLC arc that’s best explored away from the main series even though it flows into 2023’s M1K soft reboot. Re-touched upon in this game, Kronika not only manipulated events, but claims responsibility for driving a wedge in between Raiden and Liu Kang. Timeline after timeline, their power combined has shown to be a threat to Kronika. Using this to his advantage, Raiden stops fighting Liu Kang and they merge to form Fire God Liu Kang who was last seen in that god-awful Mythologies spin-off. Depending on the player, the game can end with human Raiden aiding Liu Kang as he remakes reality, or with Kitana long after she wins big as the new Kahnum of Outworld when a career-ending injury removes Kotal Kahn from power.
I’m not certain on whether M1K is the beginning of a new arc in the Mortal Kombat franchise. It’s the first one for the 2020s and has a hell of a lot of callbacks which thoroughly entertained the legacy fan in me. I’ve seen full gameplay of it, but haven’t experienced the rest of the game for myself yet, so I’ll cap this long post with my thoughts on the HD continuation. It almost follows the beats of the original series but diverges beginning in the third arc of MK9 and doesn’t look back in the rearview mirror. Shinnok still makes his comeback in this timeline’s answer to MK4, but doesn’t fall victim to Quan Chi’s machinations. Quan Chi isn’t even acknowledged as the true mastermind and even when they do treat him as such, the focus goes toward Shinnok who manipulated events from the start. So he’s no different from Armageddon’s Konquest mode, the point of divergence being that Daegon is the one who serves him instead of Quan Chi… or rather he plays them both. Honestly, MK’s biggest flaw is having loyal characters serving untrustworthy villains. Say what you want about Deadly Alliance, but Quan Chi and Shang Tsung understand fully that the partnership is purely transactional.
The villains this time around are aware of this aspect though seem to be blind to Quan Chi’s reach and influence. Not that he’s the most powerful villain or remains so for long as Kronika beats him to the punch in MK 11. It ultimately screwed over the revenants still under Quan Chi’s influence at the time of his death, but I say its for the best that he wasn’t alive to witness Kronika emerge from her chamber. Besides, the revenants can be restored after consultation with the Elder Gods, as long as they don’t take it literally.
All in all, this era in Mortal Kombat history gets a lot of praise in the beginning followed by loads of critique over what should’ve been done by whom during XYZ. All well and good, but it suffers from the same problem exhibited by the God of War series in that the games of the past are written off as weird and off-putting. But as a defender of this era of Mortal Kombat, flawed or not, this was a necessary step toward greatness, and the only regret(s) are that Shaolin Monks hasn’t been rewritten and remastered and we haven’t seen anything in the form of Chess Kombat, Motor Kombat or Puzzle Kombat in the last 20 years. I would gladly do embarrassing things to see this in the modern day again.
I rearranged my notes for this, and for once in two years, I’m glad I did
It’s been dog’s years since I rearranged my notes to get to topics I thought would take me longer to complete than normal. Work has had me begging for relief of some kind (more than I can get from a dakimakura or a viewing of my favorite anime):
Unsurprisingly, this is the only SFW version of this I could find.
And outside of The Saga of Lady Rias and Straw Hat Pirate Crusade, I’ve been busy playing a series of games I’ve played before for old time’s sake, and also for some analysis of gameplay and plot details. Additionally, this is going to be a series of posts spanning three weeks, so I’m going to cover the Max Payne series, this week; the 3D era Mortal Kombat games next week, (excluding Shaolin Monks having covered that before); and the HD Mortal Kombat games the week after that. I haven’t gotten through the HD games yet partly because MK9 doesn’t run as well on RPCS3, and it would take a while to grab my PS3 from back home and some of its corresponding games, but this was a quicker and less expensive process. Off topic: American Airlines upsets me greatly.
You may know this as my favorite video game series of all time from this post, but if you’re just joining us, Max Payne holds a special place in my heart. Although it was a culmination of gun-fu cinema that began in the early 1990s, it did wonders to popularize bullet time as a gameplay mechanic helped up by the likes of Hard Boiled and The Matrix. Narratively, the entire series is baked with the type of writing prose that would make The Bard even slightly jealous.
Conjured in a laboratory deep in the recesses of Remedy Entertainment with Sam Lake as its prime director, writer, and face model, the series contains three games all with contemporary settings: Max Payne released in July 2001 set in a brutal winter that may remind some New Yorkers of the city’s worst blizzards; Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne released in October 2003, focusing more on the psychological horror elements; Max Payne 3, doing something completely different by putting it’s titular character in São Paulo, but following some of the same narrative story beats that he’s been through before. So the more things changed, the more they stayed the same… at least on the surface.
This is going to be a spoiler heavy post, but considering I’ve played through the series at least four times before, it goes to show the replayability of the games while also adding in some criticism of the games that I omitted from the first time I wrote about the series.
They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to all that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger, and then it was over.
Following a trend that would define select games of the 2000s, Max Payne begins with establishing shot of then-current NYPD-colored vehicles answering to a distress call at the fictional Aesir Plaza. Shots fired/firearm discharges, malicious destruction of public property, numerous charges of manslaughter, and a man who became public enemy number 1 in a New York Minute. Beginning at the end, it works its way back through the narration told in a graphic novel style. NYPD Detective Max Payne in 1998 is offered an accession to the Drug Enforcement Administration by Agent Alex Balder. Max declines and puts away what he promises is his final cigarette for the sake of his infant daughter, Rose’s, health. The offer is still there as Max heads back to his New Jersey home where his family would be.
Unbeknownst to him, his wife, Michelle, and their newborn daughter would be victims of a disgusting drug experiment. The first thing to pop out at Max aside from the dead silence is a tag in the parlor of the house: a V with a syringe running through it like the sword in the Adventure Time logo: the central plot device behind the game, a designer drug known as Valkyr. Next to that, the phone rings and a raspy-voiced woman coldly asks Max to confirm that this is indeed the Payne residence, while he fails to convince her to phone the police. Now that she knows this is Max’s house, she hangs up and leaves him to discover the American Dream being torn to shreds in no time. His loved ones brutally slaughtered by junkies in his own home, Max avenges their deaths there and after the funeral expenses, transfers to the DEA under Balder’s supervision.
Three years of undercover work in the Punchinello family reveal them as the main suppliers of Valkyr by February of 2001. With fellow agent, B.B., Max and Balder are summoned to Roscoe Street Subway Station and are nearly gunned down by the same mobsters in an elaborate robbery through a web of tunnels connecting to a bank where Aesir Corporation bonds are being housed. Max pushes through, though, and stops the in-progress robbery, meeting Balder in the process. Unfortunately for Max, an assassin nails Balder in the head before he’s able to reveal a critical piece of evidence, and to make things worse for Max, with him as the last one to see Agent Balder alive, the NYPD finger him as the prime suspect, so he now has to evade the law while going on his next mission: taking the fight to underboss Jack Lupino himself.
The intricacies and complexities of Mafia hierarchy makes Lupino the second most untouchable man in the underworld, which was what Max expected. Fighting his way through several key figures at a mob-run brothel, Max picks up crucial evidence to clue him in to the wider plot at large. One of these pieces concerns a hooker named Candy Dawn selling sex tapes as blackmail material; the other is the office of Lupino’s lieutenant, Vinnie Gognitti.
An icy rooftop chase leads to Vinnie getting cornered and confessing under duress the location of his boss, who, to put it lightly, has gone mad. “Don’t get high on your own supply” exists for a reason and Lupino is patient zero for why you should never do that. One too many Valkyr injections and the entire Prose Edda sits where his brain should be. Notes collected prior to arriving at his club hint at the frustrations and concerns levied at him at all levels, but Lupino’s lunacy drowned it all out. Taking residence in an occult club, the Ragna Rock, Max explores the gothic revival building in search of the man he believes is responsible for his pain.
You can’t blame Max for pumping Lupino full of lead after their death-defying battle when he squawks at you like this:
Channel: Adddicteddd
Knowing damn well the dangers of Valkyr, Max did to him what law enforcement did to Bonnie and Clyde, the best replica of human Swiss cheese, until hitwoman Mona Sax waltzes in to reveal that Lupino wasn’t even in the right state of mind to try to frame Max for anything, let alone the death of Alex Balder. The real prize lies with the Punchinello family don, Angelo. Lupino was simply a [mad] middleman.
Max can’t refute her claims, but doesn’t. Instead, the only thing he can do is accept it as a lead to the truth. But before he can embark on the warpath to the don’s manor, Mona spikes his drink at the bar. The first of two run-ins with Valkyr puts him into a nightmare he was trying not to acknowledge. He was already living in one, so why put him in another. After that, he’s taken by the mob back to the same brothel he shot up and whacked several times in the head by Francesco “Frankie the Bat” Niagara.
Undefeated and undeterred, Max walks away from the slowest execution to exact revenge on the last of the Punchinello mob, picking up more evidence along the way of the rest of his enemies in the process. Once the Bat is broken in twain, Russian mobster, Vladimir Lem, appears with a deal he can’t refuse. He’s always wanted to say that!
Both men are after Punchinello, and Lem has the means to get him to the don if Max kills a turncoat at the harbor, Boris Dime. Accepting this offer before him, Max manages to anger Punchinello enough to set fire to his own restaurant in an elaborate way to get rid of Max, but the deficit wasn’t worth it when Lem circled back around to pick Max up and drop him off at the manor. Gun-kwon-do ensues and brings Max to the desk of Angelo Punchinello himself.
Crying and begging for a chance to explain himself before the installation of a new ventilation system, the evidence he’s searching for kills him in his own home under the command of the real villain of the game: Aesir Corp. President Nicole Horne. The ruthless, avaricious killer in the midst; the destroyer of Max’s life and livelihood; the one who arguably set the entire series off to begin with. Her lapdogs gun down the mob boss and torture Max with a worse dosage of Valkyr where things get too real for a moment.
Channel: YianKutHexy
The nightmare subsides and he gets his next lead: Cold Steel. A steel mill hiding an abandoned military bunker where the source of Valkyr was found. Stumbling upon Gulf War-era archives, Max makes the same discovery that got his wife and daughter killed three years ago. Following the first of many of Saddam’s Ls, US troops came home with a mysterious illness that today is known only as Gulf War syndrome. Seeing it as a lack of morale, the US government spearheaded a project based on Norse mythology in mid-1991 to invent a drug that would turn our warfighters into war machines.
Four years later, the project was halted due to observations of habit-forming properties and behavior, but being the main benefactor behind the project, Horne was dead set on getting her investment’s worth. Unauthorized, the project was rebooted through dark means and motives. Due to a data leak, Michelle discovered the ongoing project and was thus silenced in order to keep it secret. Horne hoped the junkies, the mob, and the rest of the city would put Max down for her, but proving tougher than a cockroach forced her hand.
Max had seen enough, he had more than enough motive to avenge Michelle and Rose, but there was another loose end to tie up: B.B. Putting the pieces all together, there was a reason he hadn’t seen B.B. since the Roscoe Street Station robbery. Another turncoat, he was also on Horne’s payroll and had been trying to get him killed on her dime. Max realized it late, but better late than never seeing as B.B.’s confirmation as a bent cop had grown irrelevant over the course of the game.
With him gone, Max was contacted by a secret society with deep ties to Horne, the Inner Circle, and its leader, Alfred Woden. The very man Candy Dawn was making sex tapes of for Horne to use as blackmail in revenge and to stop him from pursuing her further.
The amount of influence she had over him as well as the rest of NYC was impossible to measure or imagine, but seeing as she was able to cut the mob itself in on a deal and keep the Inner Circle from going public for years, leveraging their own sins against them, it was a dead ringer for why Max was the only candidate capable of stopping her. Which he does.
Max escapes the attempts on the Inner Circle’s life and heads straight to the Aesir Plaza where the final showdown commences. Numerous obstacles fail to stop Max from getting the revenge he was entitled to, and the fiery send off couldn’t feel any more appropriate, short of hand-delivering Horne to the devil personally.
Channel: KLB TV
His revenge complete, Max willingly surrenders to the NYPD confident that Woden would be a man of his word and bury the charges deep into the hole where his adversaries were sent. But this was merely the beginning of a cacophony of pain.
And we keep driving into the night It’s a late goodbye, such a late goodbye And we keep driving into the night, it’s a late goodbye
— Poets of the Fall
After the revenge fantasy of the last game, the conspiracies that were supposed to remain buried reemerged, this time with new faces. The complicated web Max found himself entangled in started to unravel.
This game takes place in medias res, in the aftermath of a mess Max had made for himself, but right before it resolves itself. Woden kept his word and put Max back at his old job, where a new case involving a series of contract killings, reveals an old face once thought dead before: Mona Sax.
The new love interest, she was last seen taking a bullet to the face at the end of the previous game, only for her “corpse” to vanish after a quick exchange of gunfire. She reappears, revealing her connection to the killings, and due to the conflict of interest, Max’s new partner, Valerie Winterson, takes him off the case and apprehends Mona for further questioning. Max is behaving unethically by choosing her over his job, but unbeknownst to him, Valerie herself is another conflict of interest. Being a lover of and enforcer for Vladimir Lem, he and Mona have both started up a feud, one that ties a third series of people Max has faced before: the Punchinellos.
Old enemies return, loyalties are challenged, and the cobweb breaks apart under intense scrutiny. This game, honestly, suffers under the weight of its own conspiracies, but makes up for it in small increments with more weapon variety and the changing of protagonist perspectives from Max to Mona in a couple of chapters. Mona doesn’t play any differently from Max, but is more long distance combat focused almost always seen with a sniper rifle than the armory Max keeps in his pants.
There may be one too many connecting elements in the second game, but the course of events shows its unraveling. No real friends this time around, seeing as you go from gunning after old enemies to helping them help you uncover the series of killings. And it all circles back to Vlad, his bratva connections, Valerie being his personal mole and mistress, and his pursuit of power in the Inner Circle.
Speaking of which, Alfred Woden’s still the leader of the Inner Circle and a sitting US Senator for New York, but a cancer diagnosis is what emboldens Vlad’s hostile takeover this time around, seeing as the old man would be physically unable to challenge Vlad, even personally. Well, thanks to Max’s tenacity in the face of it all, he puts a permanent end to Vladimir Lem once and for all.
Channel: iPhantom3D
The ending credits are supposed to be the original song Late Goodbye by Poets of the Fall, but they’re not included in the linked video. Here’s a separate link.
So I guess I became what they wanted me to be, a killer. Some rent-a-clown with a gun who puts holes in other bad guys. Well that’s what they had paid for, so in the end that’s what they got. Say what you want about Americans but we understand capitalism. You buy yourself a product and you get what you pay for, and these chumps had paid for some angry gringo without the sensibilities to know right from wrong. Here I was about to execute this poor bastard like some dime store angel of death and I realized they were correct, I wouldn’t know right from wrong if one of them was helping the poor and the other was banging my sister…
Cop work is no longer Max’s forte, but even in the final installment, his detective skills come as naturally as a footballer’s natural instincts to kick or block an incoming soccer ball. From playing it Bogart to letting the depression catch up to being done with the world, Max Payne 3 puts our favorite pill-popping, alcoholic in São Paulo, working a private security detail for a quasi-aristocratic entrepreneur family, the Brancos, who are routinely targeted by the local favela hoodlums among other honorable enemies.
Starting at a party for some of SP’s best and brightest, it’s quickly hijacked where Max and new partner, Raul Passos, spring into action to save their boss and his family from impending doom.
Targeted attacks against their boss, Rodrigo, and his trophy wife, Fabiana, were nothing new. The game and the wiki and some marketing material are evidence that they’ve been targeted many times before. This time, it gets worse, and clues in the game point to it being an inside job.
Fabiana was taken by the Comando Sombra gang during a party and the CS send a ransom demanding three million reais for the safe return of Fabiana at a football club after hours. Things go wrong when a rightwing paramilitary known as Crachá Preto ambush the two parties. Max and Passos fight their way out of the football stadium, tooth and nail, but no closer to getting Fabiana back home. In between the leads directing them to Fabiana and the Comando Sombra, the next chapter of the game shows what brought Max to Brazil and why.
It’s shown that Passos found him in a dive bar in Hoboken with the offer of a better paying job that would be a step above simple law enforcement, but the two are ambushed by New Jersey mob brats led by Tony DeMarco. In a crime of passion, Max guns the boy down and has to get through this dollar store posse of Jersey Shore rejects. Away from that, Max hears more about the private security sales pitch but is ambushed by real mobsters in the form of Tony’s father, Anthony Sr.
Back to the present, the impromptu investigation puts them on a boat on the Tiete River where the CS operate a large scale trafficking ring. Fabiana is confirmed to be alive, though suffering under their malice. The two try to close in on the CS and their leader, Serrano, but were outsmarted and outmatched, unable to recover Rodrigo’s wife.
A ruthless favela gang leader, Serrano was marketed as the top boss, but in later game production, and based on the clues, he’s one of several puppets in yet another grand conspiracy, the likes of which would rival any LATAM telenovela. It certainly has the drama of one and was definitely inspired by movies like Tropa de Elite and Cidade de Deus, in case you wanted to see what true police brutality, militarization, and corruption looked like. Incidentally, those two films are the main inspiration for Max Payne 3’s plot.
Back to it, the Crachá Preto make another appearance in this chapter, serving as the distraction to the main event: killing Rodrigo and bombing his office with the survivors inside. Crachá isn’t necessarily responsible for the flames, as their main grudge centers around Max. As for Fabiana’s fate, she was taken by Serrano’s ilk up to Nova Esperança favela, presumably to wring more money out of the remaining Brancos.
Max goes up once again to risk his life for this family he swore to protect, only to fail them once again. Fabiana gets killed shortly before the corrupt 55th Battalion of the Unidade de Forças Especiais conduct a regularly scheduled raid on the favela in search of some fresh meat. The death of the trophy wife reminds Max of another pair of women he failed to protect in the past. Flashback to a late and final goodbye at the Hoboken cemetery before darting off to protecting the rich from the filthy poors, and the mob miss their own opportunity to be rid of Max once and for all, though that wouldn’t matter seeing as how he’d be far and away from the mess to follow.
In the present, Max learns first hand that the brutality and corruption of São Paulo law enforcement firsthand, with the appearance of a PMC and the military discipline of an even more broken junta. Call it a hunch, but I wonder how much of the junta days still haunt Brazil to this day, same with other countries who’ve suffered under such circumstances. In any case, Max is witness once again to the cutthroat gangland violence, as the Brancos lose another son in Marcelo.
Max immediately kills Marcelo’s killer on the spot with his own machete. Fabiana’s sister, Giovanna, is all that remains and Max does succeed in getting her out of Dodge whilst avoiding the Crachá Preto, but is left behind by Passos who picks up Giovanna, pregnant with his child, and helicopters away. Meanwhile, Max is approached by a character we meet earlier in the game, Officer Wilson da Silva, an incorruptible cop and one of a handful in Brazil, all things considered. Da Silva was the one to give Max the names of most of the villains we’ve been introduced to.
He returns to question one of Max’s and Passos’ failures, a job in Panama, ferrying a rich New York divorcée, Daphne Bernstein. Remember when I mentioned that the plot is suggested to be an inside job? Funny enough, it’s not the first instance of one. The Panama job was a set up to get Bernstein and her peers maimed and robbed and use Max as a scapegoat for a botch job, but things go south when Max makes an attempt to be a good man and rescue his client from a rightwing Colombian death squad called the AUP. All in all, Max is only a stone’s throw away from deception.
The mother of all nightmares comes when it’s discovered that the UFE and Crachá Preto have a hand in an organ smuggling operation based out of an abandoned condemned hotel. The corruption runs deep and playing up the themes of corruption and loose ends, Max, for the third time in his life, finds himself at the forefront of a great scandal involving people he’s either supposed to protect or get protection from. This time, it’s wearing a green-yellow-navy blue flag, speaks Portuguese and is the third worst offender of police and military corruption and brutality, as well as being the home of several ratline users after the fall of the Nazi regime.
Serrano, gets a slight redemption, in that Max lets him kill the main surgeon responsible for the organ theft while he deals with the bigger fish, the Crachá Preto leader Álvaro Neves.
The penultimate arc puts him deep in the heart of the 55th Battalion of the UFE, their leaders, Armando Becker and Bachmeyer, and the main benefactor, Victor Branco, the middle child and rightwing politician using tragedy and scandalous donations to fund his struggling mayoral campaign. With Da Silva’s help, the villains behind this wicked plot are put to bed and Max lives out the rest of his retirement as a Brazilian resident of Bahia (or Americana if we wanna get creative), with his voice actor James McCaffrey losing the fight to cancer in December 2023.
James McCaffrey (1958-2023)
All an exciting plot, right? Well, there are criticisms especially of the second and third games to be addressed. Mechanically, an attempt to play the older games on modern hardware runs into problems that will leave Max stuck fighting the physics engine one too many times to count. I’ve gotten stuck on staircases and such trying to get through the first game. As for the second, no such problems, with even the bosses becoming more manageable than simply being tougher to kill in this instance; however, as I’ve said, there seems to be too much intrigue-ception going on. Makes Game of Thrones look like a Roald Dahl storybook due to the complexities–I retreated to the wiki pages to play catch ups.
Two cops in the same department on opposing sides have fugitive/criminal lovers who are getting each other’s way, one attempting to get to the bottom of the Cleaners’ case with the other feigning indifference to let her lover get away and finance his front companies off the corpse of the Mafia, facing an unkillable painkiller addicted cop. Is that a good summary? Do fish piss where they eat?
In my research, I heard that Max Payne 2 was a flop, which contradicts to the praise it gets nowadays with most considering it to be better than the final installment. For what it’s worth, I say that the themes don’t change even if the language does. To defend Max Payne 3, it was a technical marvel, a RockStar Games brainchild featuring many of the minor details and aspects that would bring the following year’s Grand Theft Auto V to its lofty heights for the next decade. Weapons that flow from gameplay to cutscene and vice versa; different exiting messages when you click/press the Exit Game button; some avoidable fire fights; an added focus on bullet camera; an added cover system; and a more realistic arsenal that the player can pick and choose from over the course of the game as opposed to merely picking from an invisible weapon statistic to choose from the numerous weapons you run into in the game. This video linked below shows this in action:
Channel: o Knightz o
2012 in video games was stacked with heavy hitters like Halo 4, Borderlands, Diablo and others overshadowing the game’s release with the previous years’ series still dominating the landscape while the succeeding year’s game release window made for incredible hype, and I was not immune to this. GTA 5 being around the corner and my at-the-time lack of then-current gen hardware meant that I would have to experience the Max Payne series later than normal, but like all those who discovered Avatar: The Last Airbender due to Netflix acquiring the series for streaming in 2020, better late than never. Now we can all enjoy things at our own pace.
If you stuck it out for this long and drawn-out plot summary of a whole series, this is a full-on recommendation of the series as are most of the entries in this blog. Apologies if it was too long or there weren’t enough (or somehow too many) paragraph breaks. For the next series of games to cover, I’m gonna shorten as much as possible.
These days, you can only play these by way of an emulator, but based on my experience, it’s worth the effort and unlike an emulator of a 7th generation console, these all run as smoothly as possible so long as you don’t nitpick too hard.
I’ve made it a point several times that I don’t default to isekai, but I don’t remember clarifying what that means. I make a beeline for shows I find interesting, that some of them are isekai is pure coincidence. I’m not an isekai junkie like Gigguk or an isekai avoider like The Anime Man. I’m in the middle of it, all things considered. Of course, I’ve made it clear that I don’t always find contemporary anime to watch, but the subject of this week’s blog was all the rage when it was airing.
Alternatively titled Okaasan Online, Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target attacks began life as yet another light novel but from the late 2010s rather than the early 2010s, complete with a manga adaptation as a companion piece running concurrently with the light novel. Shame it was subject to a simple 13-episode series, though this might be par for the course for series that only run for the same length of time as a single US presidential term. The unofficial name for this series is called MILF-sekai and the reasons below explain it better than the cover for the light novel:
The MMORPG parody is strong with this one.
The gist of the story is an ungrateful, angsty teenage boy named Masato Osuki tries to push his clingy mother, Mamako, away. Both of them are suckered into an isekai video game and go on an adventure together, interacting with other characters who have fallen for the same trap. The best joke this series tells is that it plays coy with the incestuous, MILF-y tropes that accompany the genres without exploring them on purpose. The most the anime will do is strip Mamako naked and have her son comedically fall on top of her in the second episode. Damn, I’ve read NTR doujins and felt less cucked there than in this series. That’s pretty much the height of the MILF antics, but the OVA has more to show in that regard.
As far as actual plot goes, Masato’s relatability comes in the form of wishing he were someone else with a doting mother whom he wishes was a different person, at the outset. Then he meets the future members of his party and their mothers and annoying as it may be to have a mom, let alone parents, who embarass you at every turn, it’s better than one with godly expectations or one who can’t help but let their vices enslave them. In the former example, one party member, Medhi, has a mother who’ll chastise her in private for not being perfect like a Cell after losing a competition, leading to feelings of doubt and self-loathing in the poor girl. For the latter example, party member Wise and her own mother, had a frought relationship in real life and used the game as a means to better bond, but when Wise’s mother learned that she could make a harem of men at her beck and call, she made a beeline for that and never went back. At least it beats what this girl was going through:
I’m almost tempted to catalogue some of the worst mother’s in media, but I don’t wanna abandon my faith in humanity just yet.
The show’s ecchi-leaning comedy make it the butt of a few jokes, but it’s not like it doesn’t know what its talking about. It’s different from a thinking man’s anime, but has a lot of the same story beats as one. Between the JRPG satire and the ecchi satire, it tries its best to split them evenly, though lacks in some other areas. I want to blame this on the anime for cramming so much into so little time, but on the whole that does nothing to specify which anime I’m talking about, for this series specifically, that’s an inaccurate and misleading conclusion to draw seeing as the light novel and manga were still running when the anime was airing in 2019, putting it in the category of yet another anime promoting the source material. And as a manga reader, I’d rather explore manga naturally than be given homework. At least not every series does that to me:
I’ll put this one in the timeline somewhere.
So how does Okaasan Online work as a series? Fine… it knocks out the important points like Kazuma at the batting cages, and generally speeds through them in about one or two episodes. But it also doesn’t really explore anything in much detail beyond “here’s a trope, give me my laughs.” Funny enough, the anime doesn’t do this as perfectly as presented. Two characters’ origins with their own mothers are explored, but one such character, Porta, is a one-off. No such relationship status between her and her own mother are revealed in the source material or the anime; she’s simply the little mage that behaves the most like a little sister to Masato and young daughter to Mamako.
Now that I’ve written that, Porta behaves the most like a little puppy or a kitten. The party leader status is shared between mother and son and awkward as it seems to point this out, they’re like the parents to the other three girls even though Masato and Mamako are mother and son. F[Nyan]k, even I couldn’t avoid the incest trope. Again, not explicit or even acted upon in any media, but it’s there.
So, Tiberius, do you recommend it? Eh, I’m indifferent. I watched it all the way through and 20-year-old me felt naughty things thanks in no small part to the visuals. Fast-forward five-and-a-half years later and looking back, it may have served as a gateway to lewder and racier things without meaning to. Basically, what I’m saying is, before, during, and after its run, the series has been outdone. I won’t persuade you to watch it or dissuade you from doing so, just know that while you could sit down and spare some time to give this one a watch, it co-exists with better shows, so don’t expect me to show up at your door at 3AM like this:
Add it to your isekai library if you feel like it.
Let me know if this sounds familiar, a shy, nerdy girl with a nonexistent social life in middle school redoes herself come high school into a gyaru and becomes the cock of the walk at school with an expanding circle of friends. Quick! What am I describing? A new and circulating manga or an R-rated doujin by Shindo L?
Dark jokes aside, I couldn’t help but draw the comparisons in the first chapter, but delightfully and thankfully, the subject of this manga isn’t about an adolescent girl being coerced into becoming the town bicycle by cliques of parasites. Instead, the manga on the table is a wholesome slice of life appreciation for the gyaru subculture, something I’m intimately familiar with as regular readers may know.
The manga is known as No Gyaru in This Class by Shigure Tokita. I’ve recently wrapped up the eighth chapter and there are currently 20 with many more to follow going forward. Halfway through this brand new manga, there are three central characters: Mirei Nanase, Yushin Mamiya, and Subaru Raisaka. All three were completely different people before the transition to high school — Nanase was a straight A student who put all of her experience points into being the best student in the class at the expense of a social life; Mamiya was in a similar boat; and Raisaka had put all her experience points into sports and fitness.
All three coincidentally chose to remake themselves and get more friends in high school, which puts this manga in the same boat as Komi Can’t Communicate based largely on the main characters’ goals. So far, I haven’t seen either character mention their previous lives in middle school prior to their transformations, though Tokita likes to have fun with the characters in the chapter covers.
I’ve already explained the gyaru subculture, so those who are paying attention may have already spotted the misnomer in the title. The nuances of Japanese popular culture require a reframing of the word “rebel” in this context. It’s not unheard of for Japanese schools to police students’ appearance, even in regard to hair (even though some Japanese have naturally light brown hair), so going purely by this definition, Nanase, Mamiya, and Raisaka are all rebels. In Mamiya’s case in particular, he tried to reimagine himself as a tough guy, but from what I’ve seen and how he’s portrayed in the manga, the tough exterior does nothing to hide his true nature. Nerdy and intellectually gifted he may be, he’s always been a softie, thus inducting him into the Soft-Hearted Brawler trope, though only on a technicality. It’s still early and we’ve yet to see Mamiya throw hands, unlike others who fit this trope.
As for a character who could potentially fit the trope better, Raisaka was previously manufactured like the average anime tomboy complete with the short hair, energy, and fitness levels to match. Comedically, she’s surpassed Usain Bolt when it comes to speed and may just be strong enough to bench press Manhattan Island. If Mugi from K-On! was a different person, she’d probably react like this:
As a gyaru in high school Raisaka is extra taciturn, or she may have already been that way. Either way, the turn around for all three to becoming these flashy new kids on the block is a day-night difference. I’d give to be the one person who recognized either one of them and said, “They’re the last I would ever expect to turn out like that.” High school slice of life may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m enjoying this one quite well. It does well to turn several tropes on their head and the ones that remain in place are executed decently enough to keep scrolling on the screen.
Will this get an adaptation? An OVA? Will it continue on for years? I’ve since retired my Nostradamus powers so I won’t comment on any of that. As far as first impressions of Tokita’s works go, Reddit holds this mangaka in high regard based on other series they’ve done. The fact that one of their manga is being mentioned on this blog at all pretty much guarantees a recommendation, not to fans of their work who would have already started reading once word got around that a new manga was in the works, but to newcomers like myself who want a break from all the heart-pumping, mouth-watering Shonen action. It’s a fun manga about reinventing oneself for their own benefit and getting rewarded with friends and good times. One could argue that the characters are merely lying to themselves and each other for this radical change, but to be fair, no one is really lying about anything and they wouldn’t really need to. Honest characters never have anything to hide or if they do, they do it very poorly. I haven’t gotten to that point in the manga, and while I did say I’m not going to be making bold predictions, I see one of two outcomes: they each reveal what they were in middle school, or they don’t say anything because it doesn’t matter in the long run. There’s really only one way to find out and to that end, Manga Plus, Shonen Jump, and other unconventional manga hosting websites have the series in stock, so you have your pick of the litter, though as with many things, exercise caution.
Remember when I said that I don’t particularly gun for isekai anime? Well, it’s not because I have strong feelings towards it; it’s quite the opposite. I’m indifferent. A few good isekai will make the rounds and come up on my radar a few months after people finally stop yapping about them… except in this case where I discovered this one due in large part to its upcoming and currently airing anime adaptation that I haven’t been able to access through the usual channels.
Created in March of 2020 (flashbacks), the manga follows middle-aged salaryman and damn near everyone’s Ojiisan, Kenzaburo Tondabayashi, 50something pencil pusher whose reward for the consideration of a young boy’s life is an isekai journey into an otaku blindspot of his that is more of a specialty of his daughter, Hinako: an Otome video game, known as Magical Academy: Love & Beast. For those who don’t know, the Otome genre of visual novels and JRPGs consists of a female protagonist and series of branching story paths that determine the fate of the characters in relation to the MC. More often than not, the MC faces a challenger in the name of the sadistically evil villainess as a competitor for the affections of the same male romance targets.
In recent times, the isekai genre has begun to saturate with a twist on the formula by inserting Truck-kun’s victims into the minds of the listed antagonists. And in the case of My Dad’s in an Otome Game?!, Mr. Tondabayashi is an ultimate fish out of water. Or he is in regard to this specific genre. As luck would have it, Kenzaburo and his wife, Mitsuko, are expert otaku having been adolescents and young adults during the boom of the 80s and 90s. So Hinako’s parents are intimately familiar with some old school anime that have found new life online in memes, not the least of which include this:
There’s a story of a Japanese man who, at his first job in the 90s, spent a significant portion of his paycheck on VHS tapes of Yu Yu Hakusho, Hajime no Ippo, Captain Tsubasa, and Neon Genesis Evangelion. That man now works in a museum where most of his collection was donated. The rest sold well online for a collective hundred thousand yen. I made that all up, but how far outside of reality is that?
As a result of Kenzaburo’s and Mitsuko’s experience in the medium, they practically raised Hinako on the same animanga series that shaped their youths. And like the child of an otaku, she went on to discover her own favorite animanga genres. Something I share personally having grown up on Naruto, Bleach, and Dragon Ball Z, while my mom and uncle were also present for DBZ’s western debut alongside Speed Racer.
Following the isekai-ing incident, Kenzaburo navigates the game with his limited knowledge unknowingly aided by his family back home. The set up is not dissimilar from tackling a problem with an outdated but still effective solution, sort of like fighting a modern war from the trenches or on horseback. Mounted riflemen!
The fish out of water comedy in this anime is the contrast between Kenzaburo and the in-game villainess he’s currently piloting. A nasty wench named Grace Auvergne, she has a reputation for being as delightful and radiating as nuclear fallout. Toxicity is more than just a System of a Down song and Grace pre-takeover was a textbook mean princess. Berating the help, unrealistic standards, short temper, a cutthroat attitude, and a silver tongue sharp enough to dice your soul like onions on a chopping board.
Post-takeover, Kenzaburo overriding her character has transformed her into a firm but considerate character. She respects her servants equally, lifts their unforgiving standards, lengthens her fuse, and although still confident, she’s not a show-stealing showman. She let’s the game’s protagonist Anna Doll get her time of day, assisting and dare I say playing cheerleader for her.
This is the result of Kenzaburo empathizing as a father, and although I’m currently watching subbed, the comedy has transcended the language barrier. It’s never not funny to watch Grace/Kenzaburo attempt to be an intimidating villain and have his better nature overpower her villainous intent. He’s aware of his role as the primary antagonist, but can’t help but be a gentleman. He simply spent too much of his adult life living well.
Now you may have caught on that I listed Kenzaburo as another of Truck-kun’s victims and he is, but perhaps because he’s built like a brickhouse compared to the popsicle sticks Truck-kun normally runs over, he’s spared death in favor of a coma. So Truck-kun only gets half a point for this. Aside from that, Kenzaburo’s condition is stable physically while mentally he’s extrapolating with incomplete information on a genre he’s not intimately familiar with, but will try his best to play his part. The keyword being try, because the first few episodes do him no favors whatsoever.
As of writing, there’s 8 volumes, 4 of which have been translated online and the anime recently concluded with 12 episodes. Of the available services to watch it for yourself, there’s HiDive, any pirate site for our unscrupulous types, and would you have it: YouTube. For now, anyways. It’s only a matter of time before the Chad uploading them as they air gets the channel terminated for theft.
Channel: WOLF RECAP
Let me use my Made in China Nostradamus powers and say this channel will go under before October 2025. Watch it while its fresh! Or get HiDive; I’m not your boss.
Sometime in 2018, Bleach mangaka Tite Kubo released a one-shot manga known as Burn the Witch, starring two lead female MCs: Ninny Spangcole and Noel Niihashi.
Kubo expanded further and added more chapters in October of 2020, and in March of 2021, it was given a three-episode OVA the length of a movie when combined. On the left in the picture above is Noel Niihashi, a surprisingly well-rounded kuudere and I don’t just mean her uncanny appearance to a capital letter P from the side. Oppai is truth > flat is justice. Don’t let her surname fool you however; though a romanization of an existing Japanese surname, her connection to the land of the rising sun lies in her creator and, in lore, is merely surface level. Like Ninny, she’s a Londoner who’s never even set foot in Japan, but is so in love with the country that if she woke up in Wakayama would have a heart attack seeing the kanji on all the street signs.
Credit: Twitter @9431116
This fanart of her as a Shinigami from Bleach is a great representation of her both in another canon and if she activated her inner weeb past her name. On the right of, there’s Ninny Spangcole, a flat is justice tsundere who tsuns more so than she deres, moonlighting as a singer as her cover. Together, the girls are witches under the organization known as Wing Bind, whose mission is to control flying dragons, hence the name.
Fantastic reading, 10/10. Noel is best girl. I recall keeping track of the upcoming OVA adaptation in the latter half of 2019 and watching it all in full subbed, and as much as I default to dub, I have to come to the defense of subs this time around. Not because I thought the English VAs did terribly or didn’t have a good voice coach, but because of the direction the dub went. On a whim, this came to mind and I decided to look up the dub on YouTube and what made me despair so hard was that the English dub failed to acknowledge the UK as the setting.
I’m not exactly asking for a cigarette-breathed Cockney cocking about, but the manga did such a good job of translating and Britifying the dialogue as shown by the slang. Knickers, mostly, but its the dead giveaway that we’re in London. And sadly the only giveaway as it puts the story in London, but doesn’t do too much with it. A not insignificant portion of it retains its Japanese-ness in the setting and style in some subtle ways. My exposure to contemporary British culture is limited at best, but with some movies like the Three Flavours Cornetto and shows like The Inbetweeners, The IT Crowd, the original The Office and several others, it’ll probably be the closest measuring stick to use to assess the Britishness of a property and in just that department, Burn the Witch is underdeveloped.
I still fully endorse and recommend it be given a read. Even if it’s missing some generic British accents at best to really sell it, it does a good enough job connecting it to Bleach. Yeah, this spinoff is connected to the same property with Noel and Ninny being part of the same Soul Society as Ichigo and crew, just its western branch in London while the eastern branch is in Tokyo.
It’s funny, I initially intended for this to be a rant about the accents in the English dub, but on reflection, it’s not that big a deal. It’s not the first anime to use Americans (majority Texans) to voice non-American characters — you know who you are, Black Butler and JoJo Parts 1 and 2.
I’m kidding, I digress.
As far as recommendations go, consider Burn the Witch as something extra if you’re a Bleach fan, or if it’s been a while since you read/watched Bleach or haven’t touched it at all, then you don’t really need the strongest connection to Bleach to enjoy it. The Soul Society connection is only shown in a single panel/scene anyway. Easy to miss or brush off.
See? Told you she was more than a kuudere, and the fans didn’t even have to touch her like NGE and the Rei Chiquita memes. Also, if you’re still on the fence on the one-shot, this article can give you more insight.
Will there be a continuation or elaboration on this series in the future? Time holds the answer. For now, it’s best to see it as a passion project in the short term. Some one-shots do go on to have more interesting lives and afterlives and my optimistic side sleeps at night dreaming of a world where Burn the Witch continues while my realistic side knows that predicting the future is the most useless thing to do these days. You don’t even have to turn the news on it, the news turns you on… non-sexually, you weirdos.
Normally, I’m not one for popular and currently airing anime darlings. You know that by this very blog, but if it wasn’t for Creepy Nuts performing the opening of Dandadan then I probably would’ve given it a wide berth until it died down. Something I’m still trying to do with the likes of Frieren before I let it bless my eyeballs beyond the memes.
Credit: Twitter (x.com@TopGyaru)
I’ll be patiently waiting for a while.
Dandadan comes to us from another disciple of Tatsuki Fujimoto’s, one Yukinobu Tatsu, who like his sensei used his talent to bring us a story about a pair of occult chasers, one nerdy one gyaru and the quest to find the nerd’s testicles.
Don’t bother competing in No Nut November anymore, lads. This boy has won for eternity. But I’m jumping the nutcracker, let’s rewind a bit.
It begins with gyaru and Ken Takakura enjoyer, Momo Ayase, breaking up with a guy after he behaves like a jerk with a load of beef jerky. A final plea is answered with a kick to cheek and before we know it, she drags her depressed ass back to her gyaru friends, Miko and Muko, who do show to have their girl’s back in times like these. In another classroom, aspiring ufologist, coincidentally also named Ken Takakura (though baring zero resemblance to the late actor), reads his space and extraterrestrial magazines in disturbance while other boys pick on him. Typical.
Momo barges in like any other gyaru and equally shows and feigns interest by inspecting his reading material. It shuts the bullies down for the time being, but little Ken goes back to find her, confessing that she’s the first person to ever show even 1% interest in an interest of his. Momo doesn’t really care about aliens, initially claiming they’re not real in favor of ghosts. Ken himself also shows indifference in ghosts and the paranormal. Part of the gag involves the two initially connecting only to fire back at each other with fierce debate over what’s real and what isn’t.
In the first of these gags, we get the plot where they challenge one another to investigate areas of interest notorious for ghost or alien sightings: Ken is challenged to take on the myth of Turbo Granny, based on a real-life yokai of the spirit of an elderly woman said to run 100 km/h. This isn’t the yokai’s first appearance in anime; other references exist, but my favorite comes from season 2 of Mob Psycho 100. In kind, Momo investigates an abandoned building said to be famous for a number of UFO sightings. Both think the other is full of it, and are subsequently proven wrong: Ken gets got by Turbo Granny and Momo is damn near sexually assaulted by the aliens, all of whom are identical and reproduce by harvesting the genitalia of the females of other planets, so Momo’s not the first almost victim of such a thing. Harrowing.
That’s the first episode and it gets even nuttier and squirrel-ier than that, ironic since Ken, from then on dubbed Occult-kun/Okarun to keep the fantasy of the real late Ken Takakura alive, spends the duration of the series finding his nuts hoping they haven’t been taken by wild squirrels. This introduction to the other’s paranormal belief exposes/curses them with supernatural abilities. Momo gains the ability of telekinesis while Okarun gets possessed by the sonic-footed yokai, able to transform into a being with the same powers as the namesake urban legend at the sacrifice of his testicles. The lore differs depending on who’s telling the story, but it consistently shows little variance between tellings. Turbo Granny is said to be the protector of the spirits of young girls who were the victims of malicious crimes. Sort of like if the real life Highway of Tears had a protector deity for all of its victims.
Don’t let this spoiler for the first episode turn you off from the rest of the series or the manga. I’ve said before that I live for the occult and mystery stories like this and Dandadan satisfied that itch for a time. It’s not what I’d call unique, but it’s definitely crazy enough to get a recommendation from me, especially when demons show up halfway through the anime’s run. It’s a supernatural adventure story to retrieve a boy’s d[gong]k and balls. The anime has 12 episodes available for view on Netflix, Hulu, Crunchyroll, and Muse for those of you in Southeast Asia, or your favorite pirate site of your choosing with 18 volumes of the manga continuing the story past that.
Now to live up to this blog’s name and make a declaration: I think Dandadan is a better series than Chainsaw Man. Here’s my explanation:
Characters: the cast of Chainsaw Man are all inherently flawed compared to the cast of Dandadan given that in the former, they’re mostly adults or confused teens. Real-life adults as we know aren’t guaranteed to act their age assuming the adage of “we don’t grow up, we grow old” is true. And CSM is proof of concept. In contrast, Dandadan, though ridiculous, focuses on a bunch of high school kids who I never really expect to be better or know more than the adults, though I’m not really here for that. My viewership comes from the display of supernatural powers and beings f[glitch]ng around on Earth.
Setting: I know CSM is a dark series, but at times I feel it does its job a bit too well in some areas. Denji, through no fault of his own, is an uneducated circumstantial victim. No home, no family or friends that live to see tomorrow, and seemingly no future beyond surviving and finding true love and bonds. A lost puppy who tries no matter how many times he gets kicked to the curb. Meanwhile, damn near every woman he talks to is, for lack of a better term, a hot f[tiger roar]ng mess. Spoilers incoming: Power rarely showers and has the B.O. to prove it; Reze played with Denji’s feelings just to get to his chainsaw heart; the Justice Devil cut down Asa where she awoke with the powers of the War Devil; and Makima, one of the worst offenders so far, groomed and puppeted an absurd number of people. This video explains it more concisely. Dandadan is also quite dark if you think about it, but it has more fun with its premise in an Invader Zim/Johnny the Homicidal Maniac sort of way. There is an existing threat, but consider how embarrassing it would be if an alien race or a ghost or a demon was bested by a 15-year-old. Just about an average episode of Invader Zim, except where Dib gets a W for once.
Plot: Let it be known, dear reader, that CSM debuted in December of 2018. Denji, having no family, wants one as a stepping stone to a normal life, but the world of CSM gets in the way to an absurd degree. Rotten luck or not, forget bad actors being the reason we can’t have nice things — nice things just don’t exist in this world. Dandadan has a similar level of craziness about it, but reading its chapters or watching the anime, there’s no sense of dread or despair. This could be a quirk of Fujimoto’s unpredictable writing in contrast to Tatsu, their storytelling philosophies, the themes in their respective stories or some combination of the lot, but if Dandadan is taking me to an amusement park, Chainsaw Man is burning it down not five minutes after we’re done for the day and went home. Speaking of which…
Art: The grotesqueness of Chainsaw Man is a big give away that the world inside is quite ugly in contrast Dandadan where the world is colorful and quirky and doesn’t take itself as seriously as CSM does. Different philosophies again in the making of the respective manga perhaps, but I don’t feel that Dandadan’s characters are assholes. CSM tends to leave me feeling indifferent with each chapter, increasingly reluctant to wish Denji good luck when there’s no such thing as a guarantee. I used to be able to predict story trajectories, but congratulations, Fujimoto. You’ve done away with the fun of theorizing.
All that said, I still wanna see where Fujimoto is going with Chainsaw Man. Dandadan? I’ve yet to hear news of a second season, and with the manga still running, nothing’s stopping me from picking up where episode 12 ends. Though more to the point, I’m getting tired of anime releasing 12 or 13 episode series. We used to have two-cour series, now we’re lucky if a series’ first season can get more than 10 episodes. I’d rather the Undead Unluck method of 24 episodes like the old days, as long as the animators get to go home.
Opinions on Entertainment 