At this point, I’m milking Red Ninja for every ryo it owes me which isn’t something I normally do. I occasionally bring around my love for God of War Greek era and Max Payne as well as my contempt for the concept of Chainsaw Man and Tatsuki Fujimoto, not because I want to bury something to propel the other, but because I want to bring awareness to a multitude of different things that travel in similar circles. Since this is meant to be the conclusion of the Red Ninja recount series, the final part of this impromptu investigation into how a neat concept hung itself on its own cord by accident is going to be Ghost of Tsushima:
Sony’s a d[clang]khead for abandoning PC ports of popular games, I may never get to play Ghost of Yotei ಠ_ಠ.
Like Sekiro Monogatari before it, Sakai Jin VS the Mongol Horde is also set in historical Japan but right around the time when my favorite era, the Kamakura Shogunate reigns supreme, when the Hojo clan can pull all the strings and tickle the bums of the emperor and the shogunate and leave progressively larger handprints until Go-Daigo took notice and said, “Those degenerates over there, Ashikaga-dono!” Sadly, the Ashikaga would turn on Go-Daigo because one doesn’t simply scorn a samurai. But they’re not important in this story, the Adachi and Sakai clans are.
So far I have three games about shinobi or shinobi-shaped things. Redeemer of Tsushima Island, One-Armed Wolf and the Rejuvenating Waters, and Hidden and Discreet Things in a Sexy Red Kimono. Two take place in the Sengoku-era, one was around the time of Hojo Tokimune. Two play extraordinarily well, especially when it comes to samurai or ninja, one plays like it walked off the set of M. Night Shyamalan’s Split and never recovered.
Jin Sakai and Kurenai both use weapons consistent with real and fictional samurai and shinobi respectively, but Sakai-dono, as a samurai, is expected to use all those weapons befitting his status. The katana, the wakizashi, perhaps a yari/naginata/nagamaki, etc. especially while on horse, a bow and arrow; the samurai warrior and especially the general is an expert in all samurai tactics and even embraces many new and innovative tactics. Am I right, Hojo Tokiyuki-dono?
Not that Kurenai is unskilled in anything, the best way to describe her is right where she needs to be skills-wise, but for the third time, the controls don’t reflect that. Slight taps vs full taps, hold a button vs hold the same button plus another one for alternate controls, a fixed camera from a distance like what God of War achieves vs a fixed camera up-close that keeps an enemy out of view and damn, you just got stabbed with a naginata by a nameless foot soldier who should’ve been dangling from a beam in a mine.
It’s also worth noting that while Kurenai’s shinobi profession may seem cowardly in the Kamakura period, stealthy or show-y, both serve or belong to an exalted clan in Japanese history, even if one is completely made up in a way that would earn it the Akira Kurosawa Seal of Approval. Meanwhile, even the director of the worst ninja film of all time would look at Red Ninja and not even bother using the defibrillator to shock it back to its feet, but I don’t wanna be too harsh on the game. I was intrigued by a ROM hosting site to check it out for myself, and it clearly had an impression on me because I wrote about the game four or five times to date.
If a game kicks my ass because it was sufficiently difficult, then so be it. It can laugh at me from the Recycle Bin. But if it kicks my ass due to difficulty stalagmites and loops that belong in the first Sonic game then it’s not f[match-click]ing fair.
I’m exaggerating, Dragon’s Lair functions. For evil!! ╰（‵□′）╯
Both do make a good showing for their respective settings, though both also keep to the mythological shorthand rather make public the complications of their respective settings, which may be for a good reason. The Mongol Army wasn’t homogenous, they through Jurchens, Chinese, and Korean troops at the Japanese, none of whom spoke the same language or dialects, so you know damn well it was a mess the first time around, as well as the second, myths about the divine winds notwithstanding.
Similarly, the myths surrounding the shinobi of old are largely perpetuated by western and Japanese properties due to mythic shorthand for easy access. Loads of games default to masked assassin moving stealthily in the dead of night rather than a straw hat wanderer embedding himself in feudal Shizuoka. Swords clashing makes for better entertainment, just ask the Brothers Uchiha or Gokenin Zankuro.
But never mind the fact that it’s historically accurate for a samurai to use a gun (though this would be true during and after the Warring States period), the individual settings for each do well to communicate to me that this is a specific historical setting, as does Three-Legged Wolf Adventures and Watch Me Run from the Ashikaga. Actually that last one is in concert with Ghost of Tsushima but set 60+ years apart, while Sekiro and Red Ninja are contemporaries with unclear starting points due in large part to the semi-mythical origins of the concept of the ninja. Also because Sekiro has you up against creatures that exist in Junji Ito’s mind.
Maybe his antagonists have been outdone by Miyazaki’s in FromSoftware’s games
So between the gameplay and plot synopses of Wolf Amputee, The Patriotic Spartan, and Shinobi Before They Were Cool, the Tale of the Burgundy Spymaster of the Sengoku-jidai is one that I desperately want to see revisited. The concept itself should’ve been impossible to f[bone crunch]k up. And in my head it is! Countless fanarts of existing and original character kunoichi show that the concept is rich with potential. Even I did it, by way of AI image generation, based off an old drawing of mine.
Rare Tiberius artistry at work!?
Actually, this was largely based off artwork by the artist Gesogeso on sites like Instagram and Danbooru, but the fact remains that a sexy woman who can kill you with ninja skills isn’t an failure of a concept, it’s narrative gold. The developers behind Red Ninja put too much in a shallow kitchen sink and tried to pass it off as complete when it really comes close to the mess that was the Holy Roman Empire’s power division.
I might be asking for too much hoping an exceptional programmer can fix Red Ninja’s control scheme and remake it, but there’s much in the way of Kunoichi fiction. Just a matter of finding it. Hell, Googling kunoichi media yields obscure films that would make for great topics for me to discuss later this year while they’re still available on Tubi, but so far, kunoichi have historically been background set-dressing for male shinobi set-pieces.
This was the only one I could find on short notice that allegedly features kunoichi in the starring role. Whether it lives up to that promise remains to be seen while Tubi still has it. Whether I choose to talk about it after watching it also remains to be seen, but I watch a lot of things, so anything is possible. I brought up a buddy cop animanga series known as Taiho Shichauzo and much of that is readily available on YouTube itself. But a friend of mine (me) still encourages straw hat piracy. Just don’t pull a Zoro and get lost.
Ever got lost on a straight path? This man managed to achieve that. (T_T)
Another week, another comparison between two games I’ve talked about at length on this blog before concerning warriors scorned by the powers that be and in a way that requires service to an opponent and/or taking the entirety of the Pantheon and unleashing the wrath of Timur the Lame onto it.
Maybe it was a coincidence, but Stalin never should’ve trusted Hitler for that long. Same with Mussolini, they already hated each other.
To summarize the plot of Red Ninja again, young Kurenai’s father is killed by the Black Lizard/Kurotokage clan, she is left for dead, and recruited by the enigmatic Mochizuki Chiyome, aligned with the Takeda clan and its leader, Takeda Shingen, to serve him and dismantle both the Kurotokage and Takeda’s enemies: the Oda clan. Her various methods of disposing of enemies consist of a weapon at the end of a chain used creatively, classic shinobi stealth and deceit, her own body as hinted by her suggestive outfit and the video game’s cover art, poison darts, and trademark shinobi tools like kunai and shuriken. There’s a blend of typical tropes and Japanese history, of which I approve as a Japanese history enjoyer.
God of War debuted in 2005 as an homage to claymation sword-and-sandals epic movies from the 1950s through the ’80s like Jason and the Argonauts, Hercules (likely the 1958 version), and Clash of the Titans. The central character is Kratos, a very brutally patriotic Spartan, whose skin is marked, first by the searing chains of the Blades of Chaos awarded to him by Ares, and then by the ashes of his family who was killed in a blinding rage as a means to sever his connection to mortality and commit him to lifetime service to Ares. Say what you will about Ascension and the PSP games, but they all do well to cement his position in a very Greek tragedy way.
Ascension is shortly after he realizes that serving Ares is a ruin. Leaving his service isn’t as easy with the Furies breathing down his neck to bind him to his oath. Chains of Olympus occurs five years into his redemptive service to the larger pantheon sans Ares where his main duty is to retrieve Helios from Hades and drive back Morpheus, the God of Dreams. God of War 2005 is five years after that, and a real chance at redemption arrives at the death of Ares by Kratos’ hand, but due to the nature of his brutality and prior service, the one thing he’s always wanted–a mental cleanse–is out of reach.
“The gods of Olympus have abandoned me… now there is no hope.”
But Olympus won’t let him go. They award him Ares’ throne, which was never what he wanted, and in Ghost of Sparta (my personal favorite next to II), visions of his childhood and his brother Deimos come back to haunt him. Learning from his mother, who was cursed by Zeus, that Deimos had been held for ages in the Domain of Death, Kratos seeks to free him, and the gods try to stop him tacitly by having Athena talk him out of it and explaining why they thought Deimos was the personification of dread. In Greek mythology, the deity Deimos and his twin brother Phobos represented the concepts of dread and fear respectively. In typical tragic fashion, Ghost of Sparta shows him being kidnapped from Sparta by Ares and Athena themselves to eliminate threats, namely threats to Olympus. Thanatos, the literal black sheep of the pantheon and personification of death, keeps him locked up. Committing to these duties, Thanatos engages them in combat and kills Deimos.
His mother, brother, wife, and child all dead around Kratos and without any human attachments, Athena awards him godhood and the official seat as the god of war. A great boost of morality for Sparta, an asset for Olympus, and a Spartan kick in the teeth for Kratos whose humanity, which he wanted to cling on to, has been stripped away.
Channel: Parts From Movies
I could not resist.
God of War II is where Kratos is in full “f[roar]k this” mode and he personally guides his Spartans into battle with virtually zero resistance from them and all from Olympus who realize they replaced a beast with an even worse monster. A man who cared little for petty godly squabbles is now using his position to discredit their sense of order and elevate himself as a consequence. Now Sparta truly is known throughout the world. Zeus tricked him into stripping himself of his own godly powers and saw to it personally that he would never be able to resist him again… or so he thought until Gaia intervened personally. Kratos angered himself back to life and slaughtered his way to the Isle of Creation to seek counsel from the Sisters of Fate, the literal gatekeepers of time. Ignoring the inherent danger of messing with time to f[SPARTA]k Zeus back, Kratos returned to weaken Zeus, and with the help of the Titans who lost the Titanomachy, he storms Olympus and starts slashing gods one by one, plunging the world into chaos in the process. No gods to manage their domains, no more earth; even the Titans were using him.
Yeah, as epic as this is (and it fu[clash]ing was), there’s a couple of inconsistencies. How does Kratos become the God of War at the end of the 2005 game, but the death of his remaining family solidifies it further? If Kratos could go back in time, why not save his family or stop himself from becoming a servant of Ares to begin with? These kind of ignore what kind of man Kratos was and what the Greek games were. Mythology is never consistent, just look at who the first emperor of Japan is supposed to be compared to who historians believe the real first emperor of Japan was (Jimmu and Kinmei). As for why he didn’t bring Calliope and Lysandra back to life… I chalk it up to Kratos not being that kind of griever. He’s more this kind:
He’s like a Toyota, he only moves forward, even when he goes back.
And that’s all for the plot synopses of Vermillion Ninja and Ghost of Sparta. What do they do that can be compared here? Combat, of course. Each character gets gadgets and weapons to use against their enemies, but the default is a weapon at the end of a chain, or dual weapons in Kratos’ case of which he had several by III. Kurenai is able to use her kusarigama primarily offensively. Kratos’ blades, no matter what shape they take, are more than just offensive combat tools. Grappling, platforming, climbing, fighting from various distances; and a good look at Kratos’ primary weapons shows this:
They’re ugly, they cut terribly, they burn and sear, they char, they can wedge and burrow into solid rock, are resistant to scratching and the roughest forms of abuse (which defines Kratos’ fighting style); these blades, forged in the darkest pits of Hades, have raw divine power keeping them in their consistently rough and rugged shape.
They allowed Kratos to fight and platform with acrobatic prowess. They also helped greatly during the countless puzzle segments that defined the Greek era games. Compare that to Kurenai and Crimson Shinobi whose platforming is less jumping onto conveniently exposed platforms and solving puzzles while using her weapon system and more incorporation of trademark shinobi trope tactics. The design leans into some of the mechanics that made Shinobi and Ninja Gaiden staples over the years, but is again, held back by its hybrid implementation of multiple combat and platforming systems, some of which fight each other. For reference, this is a kusarigama:
Rather than a pair of chained weapons, Kurenai has one weapon at the end of one chain with the other end being a weight, so it kills and entraps. Which brings her closer to Scorpion from Mortal Kombat.
Neither of them uses their signature weapon acrobatically, at least not for Scorpion until Shaolin Monks where he’s a boss battle in the Netherrealm, and I think the budgetary hemorrhage from Midway in the 2000s, coupled with the game’s structure of being a 2D fighter, Shaolin Monks was the only way Ed Boon and the like could use that. Funny enough, all three of these games released across 2005 fighting with a bevy of releasing around the same time. Shaolin Monks was the latest to release (September 16, though sources differ on the precise release date), so while Red Ninja was probably buried by God of War, I wonder if the Midway guys were eyeing God of War and used the spear like that after seeing what Kratos could do. Probably not, but I like to think.
Red Ninja probably could’ve implemented something slightly similar or adjacent to Kratos’ level of platforming, not to mention a better camera, controls, and enemy AI. Actually, Japanese devs can, have, and do use this, typically in Ninja Gaiden. Ryu Hayabusa’s move set is compatible with a wide array of weapons within a ninja’s skillset and outside typical ninja characteristics consistent with the genre as we see it in pop culture. Kurenai is limited to the tools that emphasize stealth, but the game doesn’t behave consistently in a way that allows for that.
But in an age of remakes and remasters, as I said the first time I reviewed Red Ninja in full, a case can be made to apply that to some games that were buried, this one included.
The last game to put side-by-side with this one is a 2020 American homage to Kurosawa samurai epics. Yes indeed I do mean:
Ghost of Tsushima, also known as The Tale of Sakai Jin or Sakai Jin Monogatari or 境井仁物語. This game is more of an evolution from honorable samurai warrior to deceitful proto-shinobi as the shinobi wouldn’t be put to more use by the samurai and daimyo class until the Sengoku era, but both this and Red Ninja being set in Japan gives me a lot of leeway. Haven’t I written about Japanese historical series before?
I don’t think Google Translate is doing me any favors.
Two weeks ago, I revisited the video game Red Ninja: End of Honor after leaving it be for a few months and briefly mentioning it during the 2025 Year in Review wrap-up. I was initially left quite sour by its dodgy mechanics interfering terribly with the plot and keeping me from getting as far as I wanted. The exploration design philosophy combines objectives with freedom of exploration so there’s no two ways to clear a level, which excites me having played Castlevania and various Metroidvanias, sometimes of a lewder variety to go along with the gothic subculture of Castlevania.
This has a SFW version if you wanna game without playing with two joysticks.
And I call it a tragedy of game design for Red Ninja, because looking at it from a hot-air balloon, you can see what it wanted to do and how different it was from how it turned out. Sengoku-era kunoichi left for dead commits herself to samurai clan after being saved by one of its head priestesses who also moonlights as a ninja herself and leads a group of kunoichi in service of one clan against another prominent clan of the time. Knowing what I’vewritten about, Japanese history is my forte and seeing a concept like this get bogged down by some of its own design flaws.
I wouldn’t have wanted this to fail in 2005 and I don’t think it can fail today. We’ve always liked sexy ladies suplexing monsters and wild beasts and enemy soldiers. See my repertoire on Lewdtroidvanias for details. With better controls and a bit of a tighter combat focus, even if it was buried by other popular games to come out at the time, it could’ve been remembered as a hidden gem. Think diamond level instead of silver. So it has something neat going for it, but the controls do it no favors.
Conceptually, a ninja in a historical Japanese setting hacking and slashing against rogue samurai in service of his lord is a winning formula, which brings me to:
The Tale of the One-Armed Wolf.
Having written about my experiences in this 2019 FromSoftware game before, this may not seem very fair, gameplay-wise, and it technically isn’t, but we’re not comparing them just on gameplay, but also setting and perhaps lore and plot as both games follow the same beats but at different points in Japanese history.
One of the first things to distinguish 隻狼 from Crimson Kunoichi is the setting and location. Both take place at different points late in the Sengoku-era, but in different locales. Vermillion Shinobi puts Kurenai as a servant of the Takeda clan, directly under Takeda Shingen who lived from 1521 to ’73 in the old Kai Province that now makes up part of Yamanashi Prefecture of the Chubu region of Japan–or central Honshu. Lone Wolf is less explicit on locale, since it features so many from dilapidated temples to the outskirts of Ashina Castle to the Castle itself to Wolf’s own memories of Hirata estate, which may have existed either elsewhere in Japan or was toppled by the Ashina clan itself. The Ashina clan interestingly did exist in real life, and my sources claim they began in modern-day Kanagawa, then moved north to Tohoku where they met their end by the forces of Date Masamune.
Thus ended the Ashina Clan.
But Wolf was loyal to a single man, or child: Lord Kuro, the Divine Heir. The mystical Dragonspring rejuvenating waters are capable of allowing those who consume it or are blessed with its essence of immortality, but like a monkey’s paw curling, immortality and infinite beauty aren’t one and the same. Sure, you can live long enough to see Jotaro Kujo punch a vampire to death in Egypt, but you won’t look anything like a human being anymore, so be careful what you wish for.
On that note, interspersed with the human enemy retainers of Ashina Castle, they use a handful of semi- or non-human enemies at their disposal. Gargantuan animal species, mythical creatures, beasts, and other beings stemming from Buddhist mythology–all for war against the Interior Ministry, which simply seems to be the Tokugawa Shogunate while they’re consolidating power. Keep in mind, this is the Sengoku-era and the Tokugawa would eventually rule Japan for the next quarter-millennia until the Black Ships arrived in Edo Bay.
西男、どこへ行くと？
The goals of Ashina Genichiro are to make his forces immortal and weaponize that immortality to topple the Tokugawa before they can unify the country. Basically using an army of undead warriors to divide and conquer as far as the eye can see. Wait a damn minute, I’ve played this game before!
Two, actually.
As for Scarlet Shinobi no Sha, since Kurenai is a kunoichi, or female shinobi, her methods of combat are less 16th-century fantasy and more practical ninja weapons that have been said to be used by ninja, though sources are sparse or nonexistent for secrecy’s sake. The emphasis being on speed and stealth, ninja needed tools that can be easily used and hidden. Their missions were almost always: get in, do task, get out. Assassination, espionage, intelligence gathering; ninja were back then what modern-day scouts and special forces are. The less collateral there is, the better. U.S. Army Delta Force may pride itself on the business model of the quiet professional, but the fact that there are conflicting reports on ninja IRL shows who the real quiet professionals were.
For Kurenai and her masters, Takeda Shingen was a real person and Mochizuki Chiyome has been documented, but where there wasn’t a need to falsify Shingen’s history, Chiyome’s personal life is one of speculation, and that may have been on purpose. Knowing everything about shinobi would ruin the image, but again recordkeeping is nebulous with accounts changing depending on the story-teller, or we would have definitive proof of Rasputin’s final moments.
Whatever reports there are of Takeda Shingen being a master bastard would’ve been penned by his enemies. This game focuses on his rivalry with the Oda clan, but they were one of several. The Tokugawa, the Hojo, the Uesugi, and the Imagawa all had scores to settle with the Takeda clan as a whole or Shingen specifically. If he did use shinobi to undermine his enemies, he wouldn’t have been the first, nor would he have been the only one. It’s a bit of an oversimplification to claim many samurai used underhanded tactics to get one over on their enemies, but it points to their use of existing tools to do so, and one no military force has ever done away with because of its effectiveness. The Elusive Samurai, for instance, features Kazama Genba who can be described as a progenitor of the shinobi archetype based on the setting being the downfall of the Kamakura Shogunate in 1333.
Both games are baked in mythology, but of a different type. Garnet Shadow Warrior plays up shinobi mythos and the Sengoku-era in pop culture based on grounded, historically feasible accounts penned either by the Takeda clan or their main rivals while Lone Gray Wolf cranks up the mythos with Buddhist monsters and phenomena. Not every beast you face as the titular Sekiro is completely under Ashina control; these being wild animals, only a few of them were “tame” enough to take on the Interior Ministry, and even some of the human enemies aren’t fully loyal to the Ashina. Some are there for their own ends. Even if the Ashina won out eventually (and for the record neither the Ashina nor the Takeda could stand up to the Tokugawa), those warriors likely would’ve betrayed Ashina. If Genichiro was smart, he would’ve used the same tactics Genghis Khan’s army supposedly used to keep his burial site hidden.
Sell it with a Timurid-like curse on any who unearths his tomb.
The major differences between them are the gameplay styles. Solo Dog of War is a Souls game with fewer bells and whistles to be found in traditional Dark Souls and later Souls game, the Welsh-inspired Elden Ring. Does this mean it’s simpler than the rest of the Souls library? Nope. Difficulty has not been sacrificed on the altar to bring Single-Player Ninja Guardian to our consoles and PCs, for you can still get thrown off a cliff or slashed by a knob-end who took R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly” to literal heights.
Channel: Xironia
Blood Spy is less theatrical, but largely because it combines three separate gameplay styles into one without the finesse that all of them have in isolation. This isn’t an instance of combining chocolate and peanut butter to bring us Reese’s nor is it a showcase of why peanut butter and chocolate don’t work. More like, if trial and error was applied, then Red Ninja could’ve been more than just a one-off project. Weapon at the end of a chain, seduction, platforming, and stealth aren’t ideas that should fail on paper, but the execution of this combination is the thing that matters the most. Places where some combination of those work well can be found in a bunch of games, including the Lewdtroidvanias I linked to earlier in this post.
But the world hasn’t collapsed despite what the news cycle spits at you. So a developer who happens upon this post or more realistically the game can (and F[sword clash]NG SHOULD) revisit the concept and reapply it to modern hardware. I’d kill a thousand men to see it return to the forefront, even if handled by someone else. Ideally, someone competent. The last thing we’re asking for is Saint’s Row 2022.
Besmirchment of my legacy and dishonor on my name is intolerable!!
Months ago, I added Red Ninja: End of Honor to my list of topics to cover in the New Year and I had done so at a time when the game had frustrated me greatly. I briefly touched upon it in this post about what I found wrong with it, why I hadn’t advanced as far as I could, etc., etc. I was playing enough of it earlier to get a handle of it and return to form of sorts and this and the next series of posts are going to be subjective, but on reflection, I don’t think I was going to approach it as fairly as I had hoped.
Now Red Ninja is a game with flaws, but watching some video essays and reviews of the game, it has a cult following, so with that in mind, here’s the short version: it needed better controls and a better camera.
Which is something I don’t want to say about the game because it has a lot going for it. Stealth mechanics that make use of traditional stealth and historical context. I do need to clarify something I said in that post linked above. I mentioned that kunoichi didn’t exist. I retract that statement. They were real, but pop culture elevated their status a lot. This was due to sparse record-keeping, mythic statuses of actual female warriors, or onna-musha/bugeisha, and historian debate. There’s more records of onna-musha than of kunoichi. So you might happen upon a historical, if loose, retelling of Tomoe Gozen than of Mochizuki Chiyome. For that matter, The Elusive Samurai has one such onna-musha, the tomboyish Mochizuki Ayako as a retainer to that dastardly light-footed regent.
For all intents and purposes, Red Ninja takes from the kunoichi trope and while a history buff, from what I’ve seen so far in my gameplay, Crimson Kunoichi does use mythical status to elevate its protagonist Kurenai. It also mythologizes samurai and ninja clan politics of the Sengoku period. Before the Tokugawa clan won out for the next quarter-millennia, various samurai clans competed with one another, and this game centers around the rivalry between the Takeda and Oda clans.
The starting premise is that Kurenai’s father, Ryo, was killed by the Black Lizard clan (Kurotokage? 黒蜥蜴氏) and Kurenai and the rest of her family was slaughtered en masse until noblewoman Mochizuki Chizome found her near death, and recruited her into a body of kunoichi to serve the Takeda clan.
Don’t worry, she was a real person.
Records about Mochizuki survive or we wouldn’t know about her, but her historicity is of significant historian debate. As a Takeda clan noblewoman, she may have been hidden to protect her from assassination by Takeda clan enemies and subsequently mythologized, which is largely why historians struggle to frame her correctly in the framing of Sengoku era politicking. Not to mention, the two most famous ninja clans, Iga and Koga, may have only been two of several. Again, espionage has historically been light on records for pragmatic reasons.
Even if the Takeda clan did use ninja for espionage, the records are missing or were destroyed by them or their enemies. So the majority of the game is a revenge tale that I haven’t finished and might not finish this year. C’est la vie.
Wait, there’s a picture of Mochizuki Chiyome.
As she appears in the game. Pop media has given her different appearances, but this may be closer to who she was in real life.
So, Tiberius, what’s your issue with the game? The mechanics. The controls require a level of surgical precision that mean the difference between a successful heart surgery and a medical malpractice lawsuit. Slight analog stick movements work for games where the protagonist has a clear walking animation. When I do it in classic God of War or The Suffering, Kratos and Torque do walk. Here, it seems to be more than a little gimmicky and the reliance on specific pressure points makes the difference between a fumble and a successful assassination. Button presses aren’t the least responsive, but it can be difficult if you try to perform a certain move and it doesn’t register cleanly. Maybe it’s my controller acting up, but for f[sword clash]k’s sake, let me hang a motherf[AAAH!]ker from a beam!
Platforming again relies on precision and I would’ve preferred the God of War approach, not convenient ropes like in the first game, but using the Blades of Chaos/Athena/Exile/Spartan Rage to swing from specific points. Those blades are already ugly enough to leave grisly marks, so make them function as a grappling hook reinforces Kratos’ approach to traversal.
I started with God of War II, so I’m biased when I say that these were better.
Not for nothing, this game arouses me about Japanese history that few media properties do. Exemplified by my piece on Running from the Ashikaga among others, I don’t think pre-Sengoku Japan gets a lot of exposure in the west. On the one hand, this helps with keeping outside opportunists from mischaracterizing the era with their manure; but on the other hand, serious western historians and history buffs from seeing the era and viewing it with the contextual clarity that they deserve.
Is this a recommendation? A dissuasion? Well… it’s more like a collection of what I think could’ve helped the game mechanically. Kurenai’s main arsenal doesn’t hurt her. In fact, her story fits neatly into the myths that surround Mochizuki Chiyome and the Takeda clan, so countless other stories of kunoichi can work with this frame. Kurenai would be one of several.
Following up on that, the historical use of female spies is an interesting point. Say a female spy used her feminine charms on male guards to gain sensitive information and Kurenai does have this as her advantage, as did pirates Mary Read and Anne Bonny when they appeared in Assassin’s Creed IV.
I knew something was off when “James Kidd” was noticeably more babyfaced than his hairier contemporaries.
Like the aforementioned pirates of the early 18th century, luring a horny man to his demise and stealing his secrets is a time-honored tradition. Though historically spies wouldn’t be inserted James Bond-style; that would be too much effort for very little payoff. Realistically, Kurenai or another kunoichi type would already be aligned with Takeda clan enemies by way of association. A plot would be to use them to get closer to the Oda clan leadership, steal as much information as they can and then use that against them. It may be goofy as hell as a Shonen series, but Femboy Shikken makes good use of stealth in the manga by way of known local miscreant Kazama Genba.
Kurenai and Kazama Genba are both portrayed as masters of stealth by way of the tactics they use. Kurenai is designed to wear a skimpy kimono that exposes her ass and threatens to unseat her tits, thereby weaponizing her feminine sex appeal to male guards. Kazama has a mask that can be molded to imitate the likeness of central figures. In one instance, he posed as Ogasawara Sadamune to help Tokiyuki take the imperial decree from his headquarters. And it worked! Until Ichikawa Sukefusa and his big ass Mickey Mouse ears heard them faffing about. Kurenai’s lure and attack method works when the game’s mechanics don’t trip over itself.
Overall, if it had a modern remake of some kind like what Max Payne is set to have this year, then I’ll play that from start to finish uninterrupted when I’m able to. If you have the patience, see your local emulator for more details.
My notes say the next topic of discussion is gonna be Lucky Star.
Then after that I’ll get back to Red Ninja mainly to put it alongside the likes of Sekiro and God of War 2005.
Toy company extraordinaire brought down by hemorrhaging money
Last week’s gap was a “woke up and chose violence” moment. This time, for something back on track: Midway!
This blog has talked about individual Midway Games, but hasn’t brushed up on the developer-publisher itself. Best to round out the picture by looking at the factory’s skeleton then so we can learn how the Mortal Kombat developer went under in 2010. Midway’s origins are certainly a story worth telling, they may have gotten famous in the 1980s and ‘90s in the arcades, but they began in 1958 as any other toy company in Chicagoland. Pinball, party games, amusement park distribution, cheap carney games made for ripping off unsuspecting children. I swear that baseball hit the bottles! Gimme my prize, old man!! The eventual shift to video games by the late ‘70s and beyond is consistent then with their philosophy. Bought by Bally in 1969, they expanded into arcades, distributing known titles and developing their own, one of their earliest being Space Invaders.
Beep, beep, beep, blast!
For North American distribution, these guys made Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man a household name. It was a gilded age for arcades and also quite short-lived. Keep in mind, that the gaming industry back then was mostly carried by Pong. There was only one game, but 20 billion different devices running that game in arcades, on early consoles like the Atari 2600 and the Magnavox Odyssey, on toasters, on walls, on lamps, on tree trunks—market oversaturation brutally killed the gaming industry back then, hurt worse by the release of admittedly experimental, but otherwise manure-level “games” on later consoles like the 2600 or the NES. The most catastrophic being that of E.T.
An early tie-in for the movie, the window was extremely small and putting together digitized Legos in six weeks could work in theory, but those who were there saw the end result of applying it in practice and apply it they could not. The difference between bugs and glitches then and now is that today’s bugs and glitches are prettier, cost 18 terabytes of data, and need to be connected to the internet despite being singleplayer. So where was Midway in the middle of all that? Sitting undisturbed in the arcades where a couple of quarters could get you to Pac-Man level 256 where things got funky.
Now it’s time to get funky!
By the late 1980s, Midway was a solid pinball and arcade cabinet manufacturer-distributor with association Williams Electronics and Bally Manufacturing. These combined forces worked together crafting machines, entertainment machines for you, me and every ‘90s kids’ favorite wallaby. But what would they have as their most famous video game series? Rampage? Paper Boy? Galaxian? Nay, it was:
I won’t look down on you if you weren’t there for this era, I barely caught the tail end of it with Ermac whooping my ass at Mach s[souls]t. And if there’s a difference between those who saw Tetris get released and those who simply grew up with its colossal number of ports (right here), then I represent a portion of those who grew up playing the home release of Mortal Kombat trying to play the arcade games. It didn’t translate as well as I’d hoped, but I wasn’t raised on quitting juice, I was breastfed!
Mortal Kombat was originally meant to challenge Street Fighter II. Developed by four dudes in eight months, the framework in place and one that Midway let Ed Boon and John Tobias use until 1995 was digitized sprites of neon-colored actors imitating ‘70s Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan flicks. Funny enough, a bunch of these mo-capped actors are retired martial artists and such. They even tried to grab the Muscles from Brussels to star in the game, but depending on the source he either couldn’t do the motion capture, outright rejected the offer in favor of a competitor, or his agency did. Not that Boon Tobias was salty per se, but it’s been said that Johnny Cage is a direct parody of the Belgium’s Most Muscular Waffle.
Buns and thighs
Meanwhile, Jean-Claude Van Damme I Screwed Up went on to act in the 1994 Street Fighter live-action movie whose only claim to acclaim should be the monumental work put in by Raul Julia as M. Bison, going out with a bang later that year from stomach cancer. And Street Fighter took a reputational hit while MK3 released the year after that and broke into Hollywood with campy action movie goodness. Suffice it to say, the ‘90s were great for Midway…
…now where did it go wrong? Right around the late ‘90s, actually. Reaching its zenith, around the time of the first movie and MK3, consoles didn’t stop releasing. Disgruntled Nintendo personnel crafted the PlayStation in a wizard’s lair (but forgot to clean the cauldron after use, rude), Nintendo themselves continued to make hanafuda cards and SNES, Sega was crapping out console after console and finding some way to put their blue mascot on them all, the Neo-Geo, and the 3DO admittedly came and went earlier, but also helped to shift the market console-wards with arcades becoming more and more cumbersome to travel to and from.
Yeah, I only ever went to arcades when I was in summer day camp and we traveled by rented school bus to go there. Great memories, but I probably wouldn’t wanna handle the logistics of that either.
Now, Mortal Kombat would see a myriad of ports to different consoles, some of which I listed here over the years, and the last main title being 1997’s MK4 reaching arcade cabinets. General reception at the time and now disregard it as a high school or college project. Those are my words, by the way. The reception was probably not that harsh…
They weren’t harsh enough
A professional developer’s first go at 3D games was seen as a huge step back into a shallow grave with Grand Theft Auto, Fallout, and Abe’s Odyssey serving as the pallbearers, and the implementation of 3D like this into a violent video game just elevated critics and news reporters even more. Even Ed Boon acknowledging its missteps didn’t do much to drive the attention away, but fortunately, they had enough cash to work on further future projects. MK: Mythologies – Sub-Zero released the same year to similarly ugly criticism, and no one has ever played Mortal Kombat: Special Forces because it doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist.
F[Scorpion’s spear]K!
Saying it thrice doesn’t make it true, dammit! Nevertheless, the innocent quarters sent to slaughter in the arcade era made for further funding and with the writing on the wall in blood, Midway’s arcade division was officially shuttered by 2001. The next year, Mortal Kombat returned to force with a new graphics engine and an expansive mythology beyond the old comic books of the 1990s. Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance fixed what the other three games broke over its back and if you believe the 3D era of Mortal Kombat was MK4 and not Deadly Alliance, then this was a time when Mortal Kombat got weird and for better or worse, these games took the spotlight away from some other titles that blessed the 2000s. Highlighting just a few gems and coals really quick in no particular order, there was Area 51, Rampage as said before, The Suffering and its sequel Ties That Bind, NFL Blitz, L.A. Rush, SpyHunter and several others for distribution in North America, developed by smaller devs in association with Bandai Namco and Square Enix. Yeah, yeah, this kind of s[footstomp]t happens all the time. Still does.
But you probably didn’t notice some of those other titles with Mortal Kombat’s strange mechanics taking the spotlight. For me, Chess, Puzzle, and Motor Kombat were nifty little additions. The series didn’t have to take itself seriously and in many ways it didn’t. Hell, one of the composers made a cameo in MKII!
TOASTY!
But it’s not like this was enough to save Midway in the new millennium. Their machines stopped robbing us of our hard found quarters sandwiched between couch cushions and underneath desks and chairs, and Midway carried themselves in stride belting out game after game after North American release of obscure JRPG after game, but MK was the company’s face. Not even a collaboration with John Woo and Inspector Tequila for 2007’s Stranglehold could help, then again market trends change faster than people change their underwear so for all the trouble I went through to blaze through that Hong Kong-infused Max Payne clone may seem like a waste, but waste not, want not is my motto and I try what I can to live it to varying degrees of success.
Midway’s twin peaks were before the turn of the millennium and ever since the arcade cabinets lost relevance, the money’s run empty ever since with Mortal Kombat’s 3D era eating up what was left. If you pay close attention to the mechanics and art direction from Deadly Alliance to Deception to Shaolin Monks to Armageddon, you can pinpoint and examine what part of the games had the most attention and what parts had the least. Deadly Alliance put a lot into the engine, but was basically a 3D arcade game. Deception did more with its Konquest mode and Chess and Puzzle Kombat modes but even these weren’t spared the cutting room floor in some areas. Konquest mode segments are either rushed, scrapped, or unfinished and it looks like they had a bunch of ideas that would never be explored.
Shaolin Monks revamped the free roaming Konquest idea, took out the RPG-esque side questing and gave us a Streets of Rage/Final Fight-like beat ‘em up! Hell yeah, after about 12 or 13 years. Probably could’ve done this sooner, but the biggest sacrifice suffered by this game is its plot. Mortal Kombat’s framing has almost always been some flavor of otherworldly warriors fight to the death in bloodsport in a mystical tournament with the wider plot being an evil conqueror tries to take over the earth but the tournament is implemented as the ultimate legal arbitration before the conqueror reminds us of his evil.
Channel: Leah Stevens
But Shaolin Monks is largely only good if you ignore the writing or try to rewrite it like Dragon Ball. Guess I have to perform a séance then to get inside Toriyama’s head. And also learn Japanese well enough to talk to him. And yet it funnily enough had more on its plate than Armageddon that suffered the most from rushed and unfinished development. The two-year wait time for games might have worked well enough at the time, but without enough time to let the dough rise, the bread gets lumpy, the booty gets soggy, and it doesn’t even clap audibly when I—
Sorry, we’re still talking about video games, right?
This one gave us Motor Kombat and by far the largest cast of any Mortal Kombat game to begin with, resurrecting some maligned characters and reintroducing those who fell by the wayside over the course of Midway’s last puffs of air, but to do that a bunch of other stuff needed to get the boot. Fighting styles were chopped to two (boo), but Motor Kombat was introduced (yay); Konquest mode has a bunch of cut content (boo), but it makes for an interesting plot that ties everything together concerning Blaze (yay); and the cardinal sin this game commits is that unique fatalities are not here at all.
(⊙ˍ⊙)
Yeah, put in the different unique button inputs and roughly every character can do exactly the same f[bone crunch]ing fatality as everyone else. You can call it Copy Paste Mortal Kombat and in some spaces that’s exactly what it is. Mortal Kombat without fatalities is like Doom without the unique kills. Wait a minute
Quantity over quality aside, you really see here how much the budget was beginning to dry up with stages and select plot points dropping off into the Pit without a designated recovery team to wade through the spikes and get them back. Then again, one can argue Deception also had this problem and I’ll put my hat in the ring and say that Shaolin Monks was also a victim of this in some capacity. For Deception, it picked up a bunch of characters that were supposed to debut in Deadly Alliance, but the roster was filled up so Dairou had to wait for Deception to finish.
As for Deception’s Konquest mode, a side plot concerning the Wu Shi Academy’s selection for a champion to represent Earthrealm happens if you talk to specific elderly masters. The most Shujinko walks away with is a White Lotus Society headband since his quest, while it took priority, didn’t have a deadline, so Shujinko nearly spends his adult life leveling up for nothing while they go with a champion anyway, and it feels doubly worthless when those old masters are killed by the Deadly Alliance. In my post about the 3D MK series, I noted that if Quan Chi and Shang Tsung were smart, they would’ve selected whose souls to steal and transplant into the Dragon King’s Undefeatable Army, and most of those would have to be fighters. With human aging being a joke in this franchise (a census taker in Seido asks for people’s ages, with one woman being 354 years old; Kitana is 10,000; Goro is at least 2,000 or more years old, etc.), you can bet your sweet bippy that some of those stolen souls are ancient kung fu masters exhibiting loads of tropes that erupted with Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and the original Karate Kid that they didn’t really start walking back or reinventing until after the 2011 reboot.
But I’m jumping the bladed hat again. The main point here is that from Deadly Alliance in 2002 to Armageddon in 2006, Mortal Kombat existed in a strange window that for some would either be on brand or out of place. For me, there were plenty of developers taking the piss out of their own products at the time with GTA being so satirically black Dave Chappelle would give applause and Sony Computer Entertainment letting David Jaffe put Kratos in a cow suit and a potato suit. Even in MK9, Ermac’s shrinking fatality is comedic and Boon and Tobias never really abandoned friendships; they just came back after a decades-long hiatus.
For all of the 3D games’ weirdness and charm, of all the things to feel like an NTR-level betrayal would be none other than:
It sounds both absurd and fantastic. Scorpion and Michael Keaten squaring the f[batarang]k up, but look under the hood, and trouble is a foot that the developers weren’t allowed to remove by contract. Another game that on the one hand, had fatalities, but on the other had to censor them because Warner Bros. and Daddy DC explicitly stated that the Justice League must maintain its family friendly image and my reaction to googling executive meddling in MK VS DC was this:
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Bull f[broken chair]ing s[door slam]t.
This game came out the same year as The Dark Knight, and well after series like Teen Titans and Batman Beyond. Cherry-picking? Actually, maybe. Those might be outliers to the standard, but a DC funded Batman or Superman or Green Lantern film at the time…
ಠ_ಠ
…provided the studio can stop helicopter parenting the project. A neat script about an interesting plot concerning a beloved character can easily feel f[pig squeal]ked if DC execs get their hands on it and gangbang it into a wheelchair with or without Warner Bros. approval. Midway must’ve been feeling desperate to grovel before these girthy presentations for nearly $50 million, and another hot take I have here is DCEU was always gonna collapse and their heavy-handed approach didn’t help, but an early sign of trouble had to do with the treatment of their characters to third parties. Sony can pretend to be a team player by letting Netherrealm Studios and Warner Bros. keep Kratos’ personality intact for the funnier fatalities, and for DC, I take it that they need to be convinced to take darker risks for their characters or straight up don’t understand why certain characters are dark to begin with. You know how many times Joker’s thrown Harley out on her ass in the cartoons? And then there’s the emotional and physical abuse, who’s to say she doesn’t have scars and bruises in that HBO cartoon she’s in?
Thus Midway came to a bitter end in 2009 with Warner Bros. eating the remaining assets and greenlighting Mortal Kombat 9 for 2011, considered by many to be a great game if not the apex of the reboot games, and not for nothing, MK VS DC may have cut too much trying to trim its own fingernails, but the idea to gift us 2013’s Injustice and the 2017 sequel is at least one thing DC hasn’t bungled in the last decade. One… they still have a plethora of sins to pay back.
Yeah, I intended for this week’s post to be about the Fate franchise, but that behemoth requires attention that I can’t split from a bunch of other things work and non-work related. The dedication necessary to commit to it exists, but it’s going to be broken off from several other things I either need to do or am viewing first. Something something undivided attention, something something divided like a math problem, something something… yeah, I can definitely do it, but whether I remember to knock it out before Christmas this year is up in the air with all the moving parts laid out and getting ready to be laid out so instead, I’ll knock out some thoughts and opinions for once about things I care about.
Let’s go straight for the bollocks on this and say that my relationship with Chainsaw Man is one of forced tolerance. Not hatred, not love, not appreciation, a bit of admiration, but I’ve chosen to accept that it’s a cultural animanga force that has redefined narrative by way of shock value. I will always remind people that a different series has done it before and not too long before Fujimoto debuted his magnum opus, but my point has always been that it played with similar story beats as another series I’m really looking forward to sometime in the future: Black Torch.
I had fallen behind on some of the chapters, but the most recent ones I’d caught up to have a world in disarray, the wild animals let loose and unleashed and feasting on mystery flesh, the devils all out and playing with what’s left, an unsanctioned, unauthorized rapture of the innocent and the center of attention is Denji and Asa Mitaka/Yoru. Between my opinions on Motor Blade Monster and Do-Over of a Rapist, an accurate statement to make of me is that shock needs to feel earned and the latter half of Tree-Choppers for Arms and the entirety of C[bawk]k-Sleeve Playthings is majority or purely shock. These people are evil, they eat children, invade countries, molest competitively, force children to become monsters, milk the innocent of all they have and keep milking the corpses until–look, I’m not against grotesque imagery or metaphors or dark stories. I play Max Payne, which can double as a horror game 40% of the time. I played all but two God of War games due to hardware limitations. I’ve eyed up the lore and details of the original 3D GTA games and looked at the contemporary references. But Redo of Healer is shock value alone, and that may as well be serving some anemic chicken and only four bites of rice.
I’d been banging my head over the wall trying to figure why this appeals to women viewers the most and this video by Ken LaCorte has some of my answers:
Channel: Elephants in Rooms – Ken LaCorte
The crux of the video being that in a prehistoric time when women were vulnerable and at risk even when not pregnant the man who was violent to all of their (namely, her) attackers but comforting to her is a treasure to be cherished, far above any other diamond. Yeah, I can see the romance there, but the sexual aspect might just be a kink and knowing what I’m into and what I’ve reviewed on this blog, I’m not one to judge… but do I need to be a winged beast from the depths of the underworld with an insatiable sex drive? Can’t we cuddle and watch comedies and procedurals and crude British programmes on Tubi? I’m actually with the Brits on this one, all that time hunting for spice, you grow numb and start to hate it. I don’t give a fat f[kyaaa!]k if vanilla is boring, I’m gonna defend it til the end of days. I refuse to let darker tastes corrupt me! Bring it on, you freaks!!
But to circle back around to Chainsaw Man’s Reze movie, I need to be honest about my opinions on anime movies. They’re a f[nikcu]g letdown. Let me explain. When I was growing up, anime movies were a side piece for worldbuilding. The adaptation and source material already did that well, but the movies were something of a self-contained slice of life arc of sorts consistent with what we knew of the world and its characters. Even if there weren’t any further callbacks outside of future light novels or some obscure Japan-only video game, they didn’t disrupt the plot. Then Demon Slayer broke tradition by putting the Mugen Train first into a movie (boo) and then chop it up into serialized episodes (yay).
Why don’t I like this? It disrupts the flow. Manga or light novel or s[boobs!]t even novel to anime and a side movie to include all the ancillary silliness is all well and good, but putting a canon arc into a movie that won’t be made available for home release for another few months or simul-streaming until months later when the next season is up is a kick in the knee caps that I’m far too young to experience. Which is funny considering I’m talking about an era when Johnny Bravo, Ed, Edd ‘n Eddy, and Courage the Cowardly Dog were on the same network as Outlaw Star, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex and Zatch Bell!.
Yeah, this is a bygone era, but in 2005, anime and cartoons were put on the same networks at the time, and this is one of several contributing factors to why anime dubs have had a dubious reputation ever since. Granted I was there in the beginning, and I didn’t realize anime was a Japanese medium until I tried looking for dubbed episodes of Naruto: Shippuden circa 2012. Disney XD at the time had picked up Shippuden for serial television and seeing the orange knucklehead in his glory outside of just the video games at the time was as glorious as the first episode of Shippuden.
This was his best look, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
What else? Ah, right. The AI bubble. Elsewhere on the internet, I’ve been speaking ill of AI and generative chats influencing the internet, but I have to confess to a sin: I’ve been using AI in private for a bunch of different things, mostly to test history, common knowledge, and even its own art skills.
This one was brought to you by ChatGPT.
Originally, my kneejerk reaction was largely motivated by the internet’s kneejerk reaction which in turn was partly motivated by everything Trunks has ever said of Androids, short of the modern usage of humorous slurs like “clanker” and “wireback.” But I’m simply one man and while I can recognize screw ups in AI generation, visually or knowledgeably, for the most part, I haven’t been as gung-ho about the entire thing as most other folks have been. Technologically, what makes me unique about all this is my insistence on early 2000s kaomojis when emojis are a thing now and come with every mobile phone, but more than that, there’s the appeal to PCs, cell phones, a lost nostalgia for payphones I never got to use seriously, pre-social media internet when constant connection wasn’t a necessity and a luxury for only the wealthiest of us all.
Why? Well, I’ve gone on record to blame modern internet discourse on different things like social media and the controversies erupting that have given rise to bulls[cattle]t artists like this:
Arguments abound over the depictions of XYZ group, country, hot-button issue, etc. all around and arguments I have no problem entertaining, but like a Jedi, I don’t do absolutes because to let the nuance get buried and degrade meaningful conversation into “I’m right, you’re wrong” is a danger to everyone and has been for ages. Misunderstanding and purposely misconstruing your enemy’s argument out of sheer spite is sadly a time-honored tradition. America did it during the world wars, its own civil war, and the revolution; Britain did it also during the world wars, but also against the French, continental Europe, and the Britannic tribes against the Romans; Greek city-states did it in the face of the Achaemenids; Alexander’s Macedon did it pre-, mid-, and post-world conquest; the Mongols did it, and the fertile crescent city-states did it on cuneiform-inscribed tablets that now bring visitors to museums.
This blog launched in January 2023 to ignite firestorms and spark controversial opinions on media and entertainment where our modern discourse happens, but I haven’t really done that all that much because I unsurprisingly like writing about things I like and hate writing about things I hate. I’d be naive to not dip a toe and go for a swim, but there’s a difference between navigating a freshwater river with only a few annoying fish is always preferable to piranha-infested waters or god forbid f[flames]king Phlegethon.
I firmly believe there’s a space for everyone, even the disruptors. How else are they gonna get that energy out? History teaches us that trouble can brew when too unalike groups merge, and that can happen bloodily and viscously, but it doesn’t always have to. Two unalike things can create something amazing, and that’s the aspect I gun for with rocket-propelled determination!!
You probably wouldn’t believe it, but this is one of the few times I didn’t write with a script or plans. I’ll come back next week armed with knowledge on something I know more of.
I’ve yapped about their repertoire, but looking at what was guzzling under the hood is worth talking up.
Although the GTA series routinely satirizes American culture from the safety and comfort of the same three locations–budget NYC, discount Miami, and dollar store Los Angeles, plus surrounding areas–the heart and soul of the series is Britain and there was an expansion pack for the original GTA, set in London and featuring James Bond of all people.
Not for nothing, I welcome more games set in the UK to break the mold for a change
But Rockstar North (formerly DMA Design) wasn’t the only British developer making open-world action games. Team SoHo, under the direction and storytelling prowess of Brendan McNamara, the same one who practically drove Team Bondi into a shallow grave, released The Getaway in December 2002 in Europe and Oceania, and in 2003 in North America; in a rare instance of Europe getting the game before America and Canada. Not so much a parody of the setting, the nature of the game was intended for a cinematic experience, so the comparisons to draw between itself, GTA, and the True Crime series all fall rather flat by way of the UI design.
From a technical standpoint, it’s a very unorthodox open-world game. Set in the borough of the City of London, not to be confused with Greater London as the PS2 never had that kind of power to render a whole f[traffic]ng city, the UI is sans a HUD, so you don’t see a typical health bar for the character. Rather, the damage is reflected on the character’s body itself, so think of any open-world game with the damage to match, but it actually had an effect on the character instead of just being a porous open wound treated the same as a scratch or a bug bite. Too many shots to center mass before death leave you huffing and heaving for mercy at which point you simply lean against a nearby wall and you’re back in action. You also don’t have a way to count your bullets unless you’re whispering the number of shots taken to yourself, but without Senku Ishigami’s brain, you’re bound to be inaccurate. Fortunately, it has what it took GTA and Max Payne ages to implement. A cover system! But it conflicts with the camera sometimes, so good luck making your targets before your carotid artery gets blocked by a loose bullet.
How about driving? Are there any arrows or a map that can help me navigate? Nope. You’re vehicular navigation is handled by way of the turn signals, and on the one hand; f[beeping]ng yes, the one game where they serve a purpose. But on the other hand; without a good map of the City of London, or any sense of familiarity, I feel even more like a tourist to Britain than I would be in real life. Turn signals being an extremely rare thing to see being used in any kind of video game is a novel idea that I wish was more common in games these days, however the implementation here is to direct you to your destination. The lights flashing faster when you’re on the street you need to turn into and the hazard lights popping on once you’re there. Additionally, the cars this time around come from real-life brands as opposed to some Frankenstein creation of existing brands that Rockstar has always loved, so you get to drive an RHD Honda or a Lexus or a Vauxhall if you care very much about that sort of thing.
For personal research, I looked up a bunch of the manufacturers and most of the car companies have since gone out of business, been absorbed in consolidation efforts, or their parent companies decided to focus on what they were originally good at, as is the case with Saab to an extent.
So what’s the game about? It starts with a woman getting gunned down and her son kidnapped by gangsters working for a crooked geezer named Charlie Jolson. Jolson ordered this attack to force the protagonist of the story, Mark Hammond, to be his personal slave and run all over the borough kicking s[tire screech]t up and causing conflict between the cities gangs of which there are four: Jolson’s gang known as the Bethnal Green Mob, Hammond’s former gang known as the Collins gang, the 14K Triads, and the Yardies. Jolson himself is particularly dastardly, aligning himself with the far-right National Front movement in Britain. For those who don’t know, the National Front in the UK has a reputation as a neo-Nazi, white supremacist political movement, and is one of several far-right political parties and/or movements from the UK, so making Jolson a member of this group can feel like forced hatred of a character to some, but I can easily see someone putting him in the same light as Battle Tendency’s Rudol von Stroheim. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jolson’s ill-gotten gains were a means of quietly funding far-right individuals to steer Britain in a neo-fascist direction.
Jolson’s main enemies, aside from Hammond, is Hammond’s original crew, the Collins gang, founded by Nick Collins. It’s explained in the story that Hammond was a part of this crew until he got pinched in 1997. Since his release in 2002 he vowed to stay on the straight and narrow until the powers that be forced him back into the life. The third gang you antagonize is the infamous 14K Triad group, who are generally more powerful in China and their territories, but also have influence over sections of the diaspora, even in the UK.
Lastly, there’s the Yardies, an umbrella term for any Jamaican organized crime group, typically used interchangeably with the term for “posse.” Like their triad counterparts, they’re generally more powerful in Kingston and Spanish Town, but have a roof over the heads of sections of the diaspora, with overseas Jamaicans calling Britain, America, Canada, and the rest of the West Indies home.
The main plot of the game is let Jolson step all over you and earn a chance to get your son back, but it also subdivides into a different focus and brings on another protagonist, Frank Carter, the undercover cop and Britain’s answer to Dirty Harry, stopping at nothing until Jolson and his kind are dead or imprisoned. Maybe both.
I’m not entirely sure how long the game is, but I know I’m about a third or so into Hammond’s part of the story. I’m trying not to spoil myself too much and keep as much of it a surprise as I can. For the gameplay aspect, there’s some variation to the movement on foot and in a car, and even shooting has quite a bit of variance. Without a HUD, the game employs much of the same mechanics of weapon equipment found in later, fancier titles like Max Payne 3 or Red Dead Redemption 2, only you get the impression that Hammond doesn’t give much of a toss over what he has on hand, with the plot reflecting that he’s only doing all this s[clank]t because Jolson is threatening to kill Hammond’s kid. But it’s not like he’s completely enslaved to the prick; one of Hammond’s best mates, Liam Spencer, hears about what’s going on and helps Hammond get one over on Jolson.
If I had to wager a guess for the rest of the game, I take it Hammond attempts to find his son himself, but gets caught up and has to suffer the wrath of Jolson’s boys, leading to the switch up to Carter.
The Wiki makes him sound like a loose cannon and I have until I get to his part to confirm that
These days, The Getaway is more than a little bit rough around the edges, but it’s not like GTA III levels of difficult. Personally, it could benefit from a modern remake with more responsive controls not dissimilar to what Sega did with the Kiwami remakes of the Yakuza/Like a Dragon PS2 games. But it did gangbusters at the time and was able to produce a sequel subtitled Black Monday in 2004, and a PSP exclusive called Gangs of London in 2006.
A third mainline installment was supposed to release sometime after 2008 on PS3, but the project was cancelled alongside another unrelated game called Eight Days, or according to the devs at the time, the games were put “on hold.” But considering it’s been nearly 20 years since either of the games have been in the public consciousness, I highly doubt anyone is holding out for either game to finish development after so f[goat bleats]ng long. The same thing goes for Beyond Good and Evil 2 and any hope anyone had for a third installment of a Valve game.
I don’t know why I suddenly wanted to bully this game, I don’t really have a reason to. I just popped into my head one day as that thing that’s been in development hell for ages.
For what it’s worth though, Team SoHo’s brainchild inspired by British gangster flicks went on to embed itself in British gangster media years down the line with a spinoff TV series in 2020 and a graphic novel two years later. Unlike Yakuza though, I don’t think I’ll see myself going through the whole of the franchise. Tracking down games to emulate is becoming a chore over time–this would be so much worse. I still wanna consume more foreign media and I think I have a case for another location:
I already saw the Tropa de Elite movies, and I know there’s more to discover outside of telenovelas. I’m gonna make this a goal for the year.
Hope everyone is enjoying their holidays, to include Boxing Day for my British and Commonwealth subscribers, I know you pop in a couple times a month. I am currently on leave right now, seeing family in New York until January 2, so the first post for 2026 will be delayed most likely until later the next day. So this Boxing Day will be spent reflecting on pieces of entertainment that I consumed in 2025, even if it was older or not necessarily released this year.
I won’t be using any particular order or any kind of ranking system. This post is gonna be a free-for-all, so look forward to video games, TV series, movies, and animanga all in one post. For the video game front, the FPS genre suffered a devastating loss earlier this week with one of the founders of Call of Duty and Medal of Honor, Vince Zampella, losing his life in a car crash in Los Angeles. His work, along with that of Jason West, heavily influenced the trajectory of the FPS genre and the gaming landscape from spearheading the modern warfare concept up until he and West were unceremoniously booted on trumped up charges. Nevertheless, neither man was deterred and got back on their feet with the likes of Titanfall under EA.
1970-2025
Further hurting CoD was the mediocrity of CoD: Black Ops 7’s release last month. If ever a case was to be made in favor of delaying CoD’s dev time by a year or two, this is it. Overuse of AI, nostalgia bait, the weird decision to make the campaign a coop feature, and an unacceptable recycling of old assets pushed the fandom to pressure Activision-Blizzard to slow up on yearly releases. Even the multiplayer wasn’t up to snuff in many players’ eyes due to the aforementioned marks against the whole game. In 2019, the channel Knowledge Husk published a video examining the history and a trajectory of the franchise with hopeful, cautious optimism. It precedes the official release of the Modern Warfare reboot so it shows its age there. After over seven years, the topic needed to be revisited, which it was, by our friends at The Act Man and the Angry Joe Show.
Channel: Knowledge Husk
The game hub updates with each release, but thankfully I filled my time with the likes of World at War, Black Ops 1 and 2, and the original Modern Warfare trilogy. Nothing against the modern games, but these were at a time when CoD didn’t worry about courting controversy. It knew what it was and what it was doing back then. Speaking of games that offered subpar content, I happened across a forgotten ninja game for the PS2 called Red Ninja: End of Honor.
So many tropes are present and unfortunately wasted, I feel
It’s about a kunoichi who is hired to protect the Takeda clan during the lordship of daimyo Takeda Shingen. Japanese history time: the daimyo or feudal lords were the equivalent of vassals to the shogunate, with the land to manage and the samurai class as retainers to keep that land from falling into enemy hands, which was the hallmark of the Sengoku period until the early 1600s when the Tokugawa clan won out. In some cases, daimyo and samurai clans hired ninja clans to spy on their enemies and remove any image from your head about what they might’ve looked like. Ninja, or shinobi, typically dressed like commonfolk, peasants, farmers, merchants, artisans, and some even had the skills to sell the idea that they were what they claimed to be. It’s also worth noting that they were more loyal to their masters than the people they hired. See the Ashikaga clan and Ashikaga Takauji for more details.
Kuoichi or female ninja didn’t exist IRL, but have become a staple of popular media, especially in properties like the Naruto franchise. This game features a kunoichi named Kurenai who embarks on a revenge quest after her father was killed by the Black Lizard clan. Like the ninja of old, she pledges undying loyalty and even uses the typical ninja tools from popular media from kunai to string weaponry to blow darts to poison arrows. In nearly all media, the shinobi almost always have few armaments or protection compared to the bushi they were fighting. So stealth mechanics are ideal in a game like this, which is something I’m not against if the controls work and in this game it was knocked down because of that. Precision is desired in this game in order to complete the platforming sections and of all the platforming games I’ve played, this was the first one that demanded the player to cook omelets with a broken skillet.
The game demands precision while giving you nearly none to work with. Flimsy and cumbersome controls are the game’s worst aspect and yet the game’s plot is fairly interesting. I plan to go over it in more detail come the new year, say February, as I’ve had the time to recover from its god-awful platforming, but taking the plunge once again for review’s sake is gonna be interesting. I’m still near the beginning of the game as of this writing, and while I don’t wanna be too harsh, it encouraged me to play God of War 2005 again.
I love bearded Kratos, but sometimes I miss that preposterous Spartan jawline
In lighter news, an animanga series that I’d been following since debut years ago and had wrapped up its first season last year has been greenlit for a second season for 2026. (^v^)
It’s The Elusive Samurai or Nige Jouzu no Wakagimi or 逃げ上手の若君 or The Young Lord who Excels at Running Away. The second season is set to release in July 2026, around the same time as the first one. So that’ll be saved for the week of July 2026 for a first impression and a full review once all the episodes are out. At the risk of jinxing its production (unlikely since this is Clover Works at the helm), let’s it escapes the fate of One Punch Man S3.
You deserved so much better, Caped Baldy
Reading a little further in the manga, the group eventually hides in plain sight in Heian-Kyo/Old Kyoto where they find another to join them in the form of Sasaki Mima. Next to that, the coming battles against Ashikaga allied forces commences with a few familiar faces, notably Hirano Shogen. Specific spoiler incoming, if you’ve ever seen the meme of the woman headpatting some children with a photo of her in uniform denoting a past as an equivalent of a Class A war criminal (i.e. Adolf Eichmann, Heinrich Himmler, Tomoyuki Yamashita, Masaharu Homma, etc.):
Specifically this meme template
This is exactly what Shogen has become in the penultimate chapters I’ve read up thus far. A past of slaughtering people, selling the children in slavery (hinted at times to be of a sexual variety interspersed with that of menial labor), ravishing helpless women across the land, and having the audacity to offer hollow prayers to Lord Buddha; clearly, it weighs on him in a couple panels, but not as much as a trip to Jigoku. Even after reforming his behavior and refining his battlefield technique to actually be useful against an enemy that can fight back, it doesn’t do much for him all things considered. Does make for an interesting battle on the page; now we just need to wait to see it animated.
I’m not saying there’s no such thing as redemption, just that even if you pay your dues, there’s always going to be one group or gaggle of people who’ll curse your name til the end of days. In real life and in fiction, the road to forgiveness is long and winding. Just ask this man:
Personally, redemption relies heavily on the severity of the offense and personal conviction. Proof and consistent evidence that the offender wants to be a better person going forward, while admirable, would still need regular checks to confirm they haven’t relapsed. How long this would last, I’m tempted to say for life like what 7th Hokage Naruto has with Orochimaru, but in his specific case, Orochimaru can create synthetic bodies of himself to jump into each time his mortality creeps up on him so Naruto’s problem becomes the next Hokage’s problem, i.e. Shikamaru’s.
The buck stops at war criminal levels. Hangman, firing squad, guillotine; fastest way to hell is the one to be taken. The anime stops right after the first confrontation between Tokiyuki and Shogen, so I’m certain the second season may stop after the second time we see Shogen or a bit after that.
In the gaming space, a not-insignificant portion of my time has been taken up by Victoria 3, Zenless Zone Zero, and the trio of Lewdtroidvanias I wrote about before. For Victoria, I main Japan, Germany, and the U.S. for the historian in me with Russia thrown in for good measure. I’ve been able to get the Empire of Japan going, but RNGesus doesn’t make the colonial aspect very easy. Praiseworthy, but after some updates regarding the Iberian kingdoms, it’s gotten even tougher than I recall, so I’m up for a grind.
Speaking of which, ZZZ has newer banners to round out the year and I’ve gotten lucky enough to avoid the cat Nekomata until recently.
Then again, she has a past as a cat thief (no pun intended) so I should’ve expected this at some point during my pulls.
For progress in the Lewdtroidvania front, with Midnight Castle Succubus, looking online for guides was a big help. I found all the girls and nearly all the crowns and finally saw Beatrix as a succubus.
Should’ve known the transformation also meant waiting 20 minutes for the honkers to pass before the rest of Bebe showed up, I guess.
More upgrades, health, a powered up form and I’m at the final boss who’s putting up even more of a fight than the final one to unlock the alternate map that I’m at right now. Thanks to the guides, I’m ever confident I can get through this. And while I’m at it, power through the other pixelated NSFW titles with that knowledge I’ve acquired.
Lastly, Red Ninja’s impression didn’t just leave me retreating to Greek God of War and The Suffering. That game and Tactical Bacon Productions had me returning to a specific Zero Punctuation episode from 2009.
Channel: The Escapist
In the beginning, one of the showrunners of Unskippable was dared to review a game called X-Blades in the same manner and interestingly, the game was featured on Unskippable itself and that show’s purpose is to take the piss out of video game intros. Through this, I bought X-Blades and its sequel Blades of Time to see whether it is Like God of War But. Yeah, the tower of content ain’t coming down and it ain’t gonna be finished whatsoever.
I plan on covering animanga releases slated for 2026 after everything is settled and I’m back from leave. I’ve so far only kept tabs on Featherfooted Daimyo, so I know I have even more to look forward to for the year.
Interspersed with my day job army-ing. Yay…
On a final note, one of my computers, an MSI Katana 15 B12V, has a key that works intermittently. The E key which has left me to hot key the copy-paste function to type just this post. A nuisance that I haven’t been able to fix, and I fear having to replace the thing to return to form. I have the old Acer Nitro 5 despite it sputtering to life much slower than before the SD Fiasco of ’24 and for all its faults, OneDrive still has all my precious files so nothing is lost, but for how long, I dread the day when I have to restart everything from scratch.
Down to the wire, the 11th hour and 2025 is drawing to a close and I have time for the last in this wrap up trio before I get to things I was aware of this year but didn’t or couldn’t cover. Some of these will be games that released this year, others will be old enough to legally drink in the U.S. Looking back on it, I played more games than I watched anime and the problem with anime I’ve had is one of the same ones I’ve had with television, standard or otherwise. The commitment to a series is more than a game that can last between 4 and 400 hours, not to mention as much as I loathe the binge watching method, one benefit it has is that I can clear out my watchlist sooner, but the drawback I see is not being able to fully absorb a show, nuances and all.
For the games I’ve played this year:
Grand Theft Auto III (2001)
God of War (2005)
Silent Hill f (2025)
Mafia: The Old Country (2025)
Call of Duty: World at War (2008), Black Ops (2010), Black Ops II (2012)
Ghost of Tsushima (2020)
Max Payne (2001), Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne (2003), Max Payne 3 (2012)
Spec Ops: The Line (2012)
This is neither an exhaustive nor ranked in order list. Just ones that I spent a lot of time on this year and yes, for those who know, Max Payne is up there again. It’s my favorite series after all. Actually, looking at this list, I have reverence for games as old as myself, beginning with:
You feelin’ lucky, punk?
Looking at the timeline, GTA 2 released in 1999 and III in 2001, October to be precise, and knowing what happened in real life a month prior, you’d think terrorism would at best lead to a delay, but loads of things were cut that would’ve made the game even darker and grittier than it already was, notably one such mission involving a fabricated aerial terrorist attack. Funny enough, anyone who was alive and old enough to remember 1990s U.S. politics would’ve suspected the decade to have something of a myriad of eye-catching headlines. Ruby Ridge, Waco, Oklahoma City, the World Trade Center parking lot in 1993, the East Africa Embassy bombings, and several others, not helped by President Bill Clinton promising repeatedly to get Osama bin Laden, only for that promise to be fulfilled a decade after he left office by the Obama administration, but I digress.
Of the cuts made to the game, the color scheme referencing the NYPD’s liveries was changed to black-and-white when it was originally sky blue-and-white. Those iconic police liveries would’ve been making daily trips to help clean up the area alongside FDNY and the National Guard, so the decision to change it would’ve been out of respect for the victims and the first responders, I take it. Also, if it wasn’t for 9/11, the NYPD police union might’ve brought them to court for copyright or plagiarism. Who knows? Several missions referencing terrorism were dropped because of course they were; unused characters and dialogue was found in the game’s files over the years; and the rest of what was found in the betas was also thought to be removed, but Rockstar/DMA Design was cutting bloated content in the months prior that year. Probably even before that.
Gameplay-wise, there’s loads of hints and minor details that make the game seem like a passion project/brainchild with so many celebrities whose voices and/or music was being featured in the game in some capacity. One that stands out to me would be the use of the background music for Scary Movies by Royce da 5’9″ and Eminem.
Something you’d have to find by delving into Wiki pages and whatnot
The music, the use of celebrities for voice acting roles (Frank Vincent, Robert Loggia, numerous rappers, etc.), the gangster movie aesthetic that was prominent in the late 1980s and 90s, and to top it all off, it was originally designed for the PS2 and original Xbox with a port to PC coming a couple years later. None of those devices had a lot of processing power at the time, and the games they housed were nothing short of extraordinary. The use of limited technology really drove creativity, and before I get accused of sounding like some boomer gamer longing for the “uncomplicated days,” as much trouble as I went through to emulate and play GTA III, I know damn well that between it and GTA V and later VI (set for release in 2032 or whatever), it aged poorly. Even it’s 2002 asset flip in Vice City was a better showing in comparison.
Tommy was essentially Claude with a functioning voice box and actual reasoning, all things considered
I really like GTA III, but I’m not gonna lambaste anyone who hasn’t played it or implore people to bother. If they do, great. If not, nothing was gained or lost. That said, the powers that be, the unchangeable forces of nature, and the gaming landscape owe a lot to GTA III. Rockstar’s successful venture into 3D with both this and Max Payne earlier that year show that with some refinement, 3D can and does work in the gaming sphere with nearly every video game releasing a sequel, if not debuting, over the course of the 2000s and the remainder of the 6th console generation in 3D. The open-world and nonlinear gameplay allowed for speedrunning and multiple different approaches to achieve the same objective so players can get creative with the sandbox. And this being Rockstar, the 3D graphics and depictions of violence led to lawsuits and court settlements for years to come.
Presumably less so for Max Payne and more so for GTA due to it being accessible despite having a slightly less dark story for the time period, GTA alone would see Rockstar in the hot seat by overzealous attorneys and aspirants harping on the zombie adage that “Video games cause violence.” A peek at just this blog and other, more respectable, researchers shows that that’s not and never has been the case–each one is unique, but ignoring nuance in the face of outrage is a time-honored human tradition that keeps us from discovering the aliens… or rather keeps the aliens from discovering us. We disagree on what a wall outlet should look like and the little green men are able to build advanced spaceships in galaxies lightyears away.
S[bark!]t like this is why we haven’t had any abductions as of late
And of course, Rockstar being Rockstar, not only kept trucking on in the face of adversity, but saw fit to take the piss out of their critics by putting their face on the Statue of Happiness in GTA 4, release Bully in 2006, and ride the wave until Jack Thompson was permanently barred from practicing law for his frivolous lawsuits. Rockstar may get s[gunshots]t for releasing one game every 30 years these days, but in a time when they put all of their heads together in a circle, they can give us the same magic used to make King Arthur’s armaments and accoutrements. The dark and edgy era of the 2000s isn’t here anymore, but I’d live to see a piece of media try something like this or Manhunt again, especially with all the cry-bullying that happens on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and parts of Reddit. Heads would roll and I argue that they need to.
Onto the next game:
Ares!!! Destroy my enemies, and my life is yours!!
We laud Kratos as the eponymous hero of the Norse saga these days, but I’ve learned ages ago that because of the Norse saga, few people realize he debuted in 2005 in the Greek saga. Now, fans who’d made the discovery, even if they picked up the 2018 soft-boot, have a bevy of a series to pick through, but for those who aren’t aware, the original Greek games were an homage to the old claymation, Greco-Roman movies of old like Clash of the Titans, The 300 Spartans, and the 1995 live-action Hercules series. David Jaffe and co. grew up with those and true to the meme, he turned 4, chose one of the several things little kids do at that age and based his entire personality on it.
Fast-forward to Sony Computer Entertainment crafting God of War the same way Hephaestus crafts weapons for Olympus, and it may be lost on those who haven’t or are unable to experience the Greek saga games, but God of War 2005 represents a shift in gaming that happened at the same time during its release. Quick-time events, which it helped to popularize in gaming years later for better or worse; hack-and-slash combat that would reach its zenith in this and other games; puzzles and intricate level design that would be a staple of the series and its several hundred thousand derivatives, and on that last point, several clones.
A stern critic could eye up the God of War trilogy and its PSP spinoffs and put them side-by-side with other games that tried to ape its formula, you’ll notice that several games attempt to rip it off in the years following to make a quick buck, but very few did so successfully or memorably. Something that happened to Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter in the 90s. No-name developers attempting to make a name for themselves by way of emulating a popular formula is a time-honored tradition in video games and sometimes movies. Sometimes you get a successful product like Bayonetta and other times you get a ripoff that deserves the “Like God of War But” stamp of disappointment.
Channel: The Escapist
A reasonable argument could made over imitation and video game clones, but the fact remains that if it was popular enough to sell, it’s also popular enough to steal. God of War wasn’t the only victim of widespread theft, but it was a very noticeable one. To this day, video games are getting cloned and nothing is really stopping the cloning process.
Numero Tres:
化け物や！
Google Translate isn’t good for out of context translations…
My exposure to Silent Hill as a series was always through the grapevine. I didn’t know about it for years and by the time I showed interest in some of the better games, my financial situation and the trends of the time wouldn’t allow me to play them on obsolete hardware. Fast-forward to emulation and I have it saved on my PCSX2 emulator so when the time comes (probably in a few days or a week or so), I have Silent Hill 2 to look forward to.
I’ve been told many times that 2 is the peak of quality and the series gradually fell with 2007’s Origins, the following year’s Homecoming, the 2009 Shattered Memories remake, and 2012’s Downpour falling short of prior entries. A sycophantic Silent Hill fan may have more details on each, but the one game that got me genuinely interested in the series is one that can no longer be accessed by normal means thanks to Konami’s boneheadedness in the last 11 or 12 years.
Veterans got flashbacks and bad memories of a game that never was
From the viewer side of things, this was unsettling enough to simply watch–if I had a PS4 at the time, and I was made aware of the cancellation of Silent Hills, I would treasure P.T. like it was the crown jewel in my empire. Legendary horror writers and programmers in Guillermo del Toro, Hideo Kojima, and Junji Ito were, at some point, approached by Konami to work on, or at the very least contribute to the game’s development, but inheriting the same problems that Sega has — that being incredibly difficult to work with — Konami s[pig squeals]t so hard through the bed, the stool broke through the floor at Mach 7 and made a sinkhole that ate the house.
To make it worse, in 2015 during the Game Awards, a Konami-hired attorney barred Kojima from physically accepting awards for Metal Gear Solid V under threat of legal hell. My criticism of Konami is merely surface level, but I know there’s people out there who will die never letting Konami forget what they let slip through their fingers all those years ago by focusing mainly on profit over playability. Kojima’s expulsion was especially felt when Metal Gear Survive was crapped out, showing how much heavy-lifting Kojima was doing at Konami. To date, Metal Gear hasn’t had a release in over seven years and probably won’t unless we get something of a spiritual successor.
The whole point of detailing all of that was a reminder that even when a bad actor does good once in a while, a single move in the right direction isn’t enough to erase the past sins. I normally don’t like to bludgeon the point home like this, but in the case of recidivist behavior, the symptoms are still showing and a higher dosage is required. Having said that, Silent Hill f appears to return to form of sorts as a proper horror game in the same vein as the earlier entries from over 20 years ago. Coupling the psychological with the physical, the sense of foreboding and tension as you choose what part of fight or flight you want to emphasize really adds to the game. The use of a regenerating stamina bar and a regenerating sanity bar add to the experience too. You’re not some superpowered gorilla capable of smashing through everything from the grass going up like it’s Rampage; you’re a teenage schoolgirl in 1960s rural Japan where constant intrusions into your neighbor’s personal lives are how you get the news.
彼女の名前は深水雛子や。
AFAIK, prior Silent Hill games were always set in the titular Silent Hill or a surrounding suburb, but the decision to return it to Japan was to fully reset the series and remind everyone that it began with Japanese horror tropes, not western ones. Now my limited knowledge on East Asian, and specifically Japanese, horror boils down to Ju-On: The Grudge, One Missed Call, Ringu, and most recently Taiwan’s The Tag-Along, so I’m not an expert on East Asian mythological horror tropes outside of Japanese kami and various yokai. Still, there were several noticeable Japanese horror tropes that did tie into Shintoism and Mahayana Buddhism. I suspect that yokai are an influential part of the monsters in this entry, but it’s merely a gut feeling based on what I’ve seen and roughly two hours of gameplay ain’t enough to speak with certainty. I’ll be back for a full review of the game probably in February or something.
Quattro:
Il Regno delle Due Sicilie
I’ve talked about the Mafia series before because I like it, but not nearly as much as God of War or Max Payne, both of which I talk about and play at least once a year. For the Mafia series, it’s been a bit tougher with the original games descending into abandonware status and necessitating remakes, which are more accessible than the originals that they’d fixed, though they’re all long as hell, with Mafia III being one of the longer entries in the series for all the side content available in just the base game.
Mafia: The City of Lost Heaven takes place in the 1930s in the Midwest at the end of Prohibition, so you can still make a few pennies from rumrunning. Mafia II takes place between 1945 and ’51 on the East Coast and makes mention of the war effort and the lifestyle of the early 1950s. Mafia III takes place in 1968 in the Deep South during the civil rights movement, a pivotal time for the U.S. foreign and domestic policy concerning race relations and the Vietnam War effort seeing record anti-war protests and draft dodging. The Old Country is a prequel set in 1900s Sicily, at a time when Italy was whole but Italians as a national people were only just being made.
Much of my knowledge on Italian history came from the latter third of middle school, tenth grade, and my Italian language community college courses. So I know the generic stuff about the peculiar boot-shaped country, but not enough about specific regions at specific periods in time to criticize the historical angle, so learning that some families sold their sons to work in sulfur mines to pay off debts was interesting. The weapons in the games do reflect the era of combat, and in this case, the weapons used by the mafiosi would’ve been in use during Italy’s pathetic attempts to colonize East Africa.
The Mongols had better deserts to exploit, just saying
As such, rolling blocks, trapdoor rifles, and bolt-action rifles are a feature in the game. The machine guns and submachine guns of later mobster media obviously comes decades after all this. I’m not as far in this game as I am with some of the others on this list, but graphically Hangar 13 found their bread and butter back in Mafia III and have been using that with Mafia: Definitive Edition and this game, but left Mafia II untouched. But Mafia II: Definitive Edition has the appropriate promo art.
The tech also reflects the time period. Telephones, automobiles, entertainment; it all feels appropriate for the mid-1900s, which is to say primitive compared to Tommy Angelo’s definition of entertainment, and Vito Scaletta’s and Lincoln Clay’s, and the latter two had television. As a matter of fact, what I’ve seen of The Old Country so far reminds me of some mobster media about the earliest Italian-American organized crime groups. Less Commission and Lucky Luciano and more John Dillinger, Bugs Moran, and adolescent Al Capone.
Before he was dressing like this, though he might’ve always dressed like this
More needs to be explored before I share my thoughts, but for immersion, I’ve set the language output to Sicilian because English language courses as a part of the national Italian curriculum would be a century away.
五番目:
Seelow Heights 1945, Vietnam 1968, and Downtown L.A. 2025
I’ve played the Black Ops games before multiple times, but this year was the first time I got to World at War and playing through it, it has the hallmarks of a horror game. Enemies can pop up at you from nothing, notorious adversaries who famously courted death on the battlefield (Imperial Japanese and Nazi German fanaticism is still studied to this day), scarce ammunition, dark atmosphere in contrast to how this era is typically depicted especially in film; I shudder to think how many U.S. soldiers, sailors, and Marines were caught by surprise by the Japanese as well as the rest of the Pacific Allies. Same goes for everyone caught in the Eastern Front against Germany, to include collaborators and partisans.
I didn’t expect a war game to unnerve me while I was playing and here we are. Goes to show how far war games have fallen over the years. War has and always will be unpleasant. One thing to highlight though are a slew of historical inaccuracies design-wise. Of course, true historical accuracy is a concern for the reenactors and cosplayers, but to get to at least 90% accuracy requires a couple of mods. Some that reflect the ethnic diversity of the Soviet Union so we get more than Russian names; some that replace the Wehrmacht and Waffen-SS with the Volkssturm, the last ditch militia propped up by Hitler at the 11th hour; some for the U.S. Marines’ gear in the Pacific so they look appropriate for the era; and some for the Japanese Army, presumably some variance in voice lines to denote Japan’s historical use of Korean, Taiwanese and Manchu conscripts, as well as ideologically-minded partisans. But that’s not my strict desire, that would be the desire of YouTube channel: The Frosty 1.
Treyarch really had platinum with these games. It was still there come Black Ops III time, but after IV, it wasn’t worth it’s weight anymore. Cold War and Black Ops 6 were up there, but the most recent entry necessitates a reboot yesterday.
The mighty have fallen and they can’t get up
Fortunately for me, I included a handful of those accuracy mods, so the next time I boot the game up, they should impact the experience for me next time.
Sechste:
我が名は境井仁だ！
I briefly touched on shogunate foreign policy when I was reviewing The Elusive Samurai manga for the first time, but to further elaborate on that, the Mongols didn’t realize that the emperor of Japan was a figurehead for the Hojo clan regents (shikken) at the time until they launched a naval invasion in 1274, which is what Tsushima is about. Contrary to popular belief, only the second attempt was deemed a failure by way of monsoons. The first one was enough to shake the foundations in Kamakura and Kyoto because the samurai had all put up a stiff and adamant resistance to Mongol absorption. Thus, the Mongols hyper-invaded the Middle East to make up for the shortfall of failing in Japan while Japan itself held onto its seat of power in Kamakura until Ashikaga Takauji double-crossed the Hojo and eventually the emperor himself to consolidate power.
For a traitor, Matsui really made him easy on the eyes
Although developed by American studio Sucker Punch, Ghost of Tsushima and its sequel Yotei are a love letter to Akira Kurosawa films. I’d lambaste the strict adherence to samurai blades if the time period was wrong. But it’s not bad at all. Portuguese missionaries didn’t bring guns with them to Japan until 1543, and it took another couple of decades for the Japanese to reverse engineer them domestically. It’s a technical marvel in its own right with the language also being appropriate for the time and archaic for modern Japanophones.
As for critique, it gets points docked for the Mongols being unanimously Mongolian speaking when the Mongol-led Yuan dynasty included Jurchens, Han Chinese and Koreans, and standardizing speech and vocal patterns would be an afterthought in this time period since nationalism is a more recent thing. A militant Mongol Empire could enforce a national tongue, but if what I’ve been taught about Mongol culture is true, then their territory would’ve been smaller and subject to further internal divisions after Kublai Khan. Then again, this video below explains why the devs did what they did:
Channel: Cool History Bros
Accurate or not, the cross-cultural pollination of east and west was a significant factor for this game seeing as the Japanese audience absolutely loved this game, same as how numerous western fans coined the adage “Git Gud” as a response when a novice Souls player asks for help with a boss, the Souls devs being Japanese themselves. One thing to note about recent titles like these is the wider variety of language options and seeing as I’m playing Sekiro and watching Japanese live-action shows in the original language, I believe I’ve become something of a purist in regard to gaming. I can’t really criticize voice acting and direction when I’m not a voice actor myself. The choice behind this is related to setting. Fantasy worlds are a free-for-all, but feudal Japan, rural 1960s Japan (possibly a stand-in for Shizuoka based on the kanji 「静岡」), and Sicily are all real places with their own respective languages and dialects. Doesn’t make a lot of sense that Sakai Jin, Hinako-san, and The Old Country protagonist, Enzo Favara, would know English. Also, I want the Kurosawa experience for Ghost of Tsushima.
The only great shame I can express for Ghost of Tsushima was the practice by Sony to limit exclusivity to sell consoles. Accessibility for more players who don’t have the necessary hardware to play the games is one thing to praise, or I wouldn’t have been able to see God of War 4 for myself personally…
…but if the player already has a Sony product on one platform, what’s the motivation to shell out for the console itself? Especially with cross-play becoming a thing in recent years? I can play Dead by Daylight on PC while my National Guard buddies boot up an Xbox or PS4 and load in with 2% of the issues that this brings. As for console gaming itself, though I emulate old titles, use ROMs for select PC releases, and game largely on PC when able, I’m not completely opposed to console gaming for good. Unfortunately, the pandemic unleashed the flood gates for a myriad of scalpers to buy and resell the 9th gen consoles at obscene prices. Not to mention, neither of them are making confident moves with their respective products. You can find numerous videos expressing confusion at Microsoft’s direction with the Xbox while Sony has been putting one too many eggs in the future of gaming while seemingly forgetting their roots. Crash Bandicoot may be awkward to look at today, but expecting perfection at the first hurdle is how you get imperfections. Did no one ever teach that to Sony?
Okay, I’ll elaborate. My well-known love for the series goes without saying. The decision to replay it once again is something of a yearly tradition. The gunplay, bullet-time, story beats, writing, game mechanics; the series is a masterpiece of third-person shooting and the fact that it hasn’t inspired more clones over the years is striking. The only ones I can point to are 2007’s Stranglehold by John Woo, starring Chow Yun-fat reprising his role as Inspector Tequila and 2023’s El Paso, Elsewhere by Xalavier Nelson Jr.
One day, I shall judge Mr. Nelson’s work of art
I don’t really have to worry too much about the state of the third game, but the first two being as old as they are are subject to age. Not that they’re aging poorly, but that the tech is evolving without a means to reliably support them without issue. I can run the first game on one of my laptops, but I struggle on the big rig, yet the same big rig is able to run the second and third games issue-free. So the yearly gameplays are something of a quality test of sorts.
As far as gameplay goes, the first game remains a steady ass-kicker. It’s a game that has me quick saving every time I clear a room full of bad guys. It’s also the one with admittedly s[boots]t physics. It ranges from mildly annoying in regard platforming to downright nightmarish in the appropriate nightmare sections. Combine this with a few minor but noticeable glitches that initially had me clipping through the wall or getting stuck in a wall in pitched moments, and I have to risk exiting out to look for a hotfix and go through the bulls[urgh!]t all over again.
Enemy AI has almost always been strong ever since the first game, so from the frozen NY maze of brownstones and brickwork to the sheet metal, ramshackle Hoovervilles of Sao Paulo, I find myself planning my next moves even further beyond what I can immediately see. Typically, I tend to play it by ear and leave the door open for any type of surprise to come my way. It can be done in this series too, even after playing it as many times as I have, though not to a large extent. Max being a cop would be collecting evidence as he goes, and some parts of the games require more than gunning everything in sight.
The third installment is the black sheep of the series noted by the lack of involvement from Sam Lake and Remedy Entertainment, the first clue being the cynical, nonanalytical writing, but in defense of the third game, it’s a nine-year gap between it and the second game and a strong painkiller/opioid addiction would leave anyone in a dour mood, especially if you were still mulling over the death of your family by outside forces.
Just ask this guy.
Granted, Max didn’t turn New York inside out, but the destruction of Olympus was literally the last thing Kratos was trying to do
Yes, this is another recommendation for Max Payne, and yes I’m eagerly awaiting the remakes coming out in or after 2026.
Lastly:
Leopold II and the Congo, 1899; Col. Kurtz and South Vietnam, 1970s; and Lt. Col. Konrad and the UAE, 2012.
Personally, I feel that this game’s commentary and stark chastisement of gaming is one that aged terribly. It had a case in criticism of modern warfare games and U.S. foreign policy, like other media, but it wasn’t really meant to be rebooted. Suffice to say, it at least went out on a whimper than with a bang. The modern warfare military shooter was revolutionary when CoD did it in 2007, followed by Battlefield soon after, though both were starting to feel that there wasn’t any evolution and some critics were getting tired of the formula by 2011, absent of the individual plots of MW3 and BF3.
2012 would see the long dormant shovelware shooter series Spec Ops belch its profound words at the time in criticism of the modern warfare shooter. “You’re not a hero, you’re a gamer.” “You wanted to feel like something you’re not.” All well and good, Yager Development, but I don’t play CoD for the sole purpose of saving the world, I like campaign of select games and when I wanna turn my brain off I retreat to the zombies mode. Sometimes multiplayer if I can spare a couple minutes to an hour these days.
Admittedly, Spec Ops was asking familiar questions regarding the purpose of Iraq if the WMD scare was cattle manure and why we were still in Afghanistan with it being revealed that nation-building in a place like that hasn’t worked out well for anyone who tried. Not the Soviets, not the Brits, not the Persians, not even Alexander the Great, and we call him “the Great.”
Well, it asked what it wanted to ask at the time and knowing how the War in Afghanistan ended with the Taliban unseated and subsequently reseated in Kabul, if Spec Ops did spawn a sequel or a successor, it might’ve been even harsher on U.S. foreign policy. And I won’t be nice, I know that the U.S. hadn’t built a stable nation since South Korea and calling South Korea stable is putting their modern history very nicely. Vietnam proved to be more prophetic than we originally thought.
But on the whole Spec Ops: The Line’s commentary is critically kneecapped by the decision to make the gameplay so cumbersome. I default to medium difficulty because I’m not so stunted that I need someone to hold and shake my penis every time I have to piss, but I’m also not a badass who can eat Dark Souls for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and still feel starved for tougher games. Functionally, Spec Ops: The Line is not fun to play and maneuver around and that’s on purpose. Bad controls are bad controls, but I don’t know if it’s made worse when it’s accidental or intentional.
To be fair to Yager, I wouldn’t call this an act of malice or villainy; I take it that they didn’t like the direction war games were going at the time. Unfortunately, there seem to be efforts to de-list and bury the game for some reason. It was difficult for me to find it for emulation on RPCS3 and despite its graphical glitches, it was the best way to play it on short notice. I still don’t recommend it, even for its story. Just watch an analysis on YouTube or play the Modern Warfare Remastered games like I did.
Heroes don’t exist…
The last post for 2025 will go up next week and while I’ll be on leave for the holidays, I’ll try to push it out sometime on December 26. The one after that, the first post of 2026 may have to be delayed so that I can make my flight. So it may be out over the weekend on Saturday.
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year, dear readers. Don’t stop consuming your favorite entertainment products.
One of the few Rockstar products nearly banned in the U.S.
Banning and heavily scrutinizing entertainment products has been a time-honored tradition ever since Mortal Kombat, Night Trap, and Doom were released in the early 1990s. Violence, gore, and in Night Trap’s case, violence against women. All of these follow on a legacy of learning too late that being devil may care about the contents of an entertainment product can lead to controversy and public outcry. Not all of these can be accurately predicted, but if I didn’t do my research on Jaws or Gremlins before taking my kids there, I’d really have only myself to blame if the kids have nightmares.
Never mind the boat, you’re gonna need to explain to the misses why Timmy doesn’t like sharks all of a sudden before sleeping on the couch tonight.
Although not present for the 1993-4 hearings, DMA Design, now Rockstar North (because no true Scotsman would associate themselves with England anything) released a successful series of video games alluding to the act of motor vehicle theft but not necessarily exclusive to such an act. Yes, I am referencing the Grand Theft Auto series and as noteworthy as the attempts to bury this series over the years are, a different Rockstar property was almost the victim of a successful attempt on its life.
For all the flak GTA got against it for its “realistic violence” (let’s be charitable, 2002 graphics were considered realistic at the time), this game originally got what it might as well have been asking for.
The content within was made for the dark web
Released on November 18, 2003 for PS2 and then the other then-current platforms the following April, Manhunt gave the audience very little to the imagination regarding its content. Roughly every object that can cause pain in the real world is itself an equippable weapon, but the weapons themselves weren’t on trial here. Or rather, it wasn’t just the weapons getting a heavier look this time around.
But we’ll get around to that soon. The story is as follows: Carcer City, death row inmate James Earl Cash is put to death by lethal injection in public. Privately, he was merely knocked out by presumably less harmful drugs than what costs millions to pump into an actual live person in the most remote parts of the country. Afterwards, a voice, referring to itself as “The Director” leads Cash around by the nose, whispering into his ears the different functions.
There’s the Hoods, who can best be described as a very loose confederation of low-level blue collar criminals from thieves to murderers to rapists to dealers. This amalgamation of crime and villainy is enough to even get crooked cops on the take. Next to that is the Skinz, a white power skinhead group that, if you know anything about how the Rust Belt came to be, makes for a really depressing state of the region. As for why these neo-Nazi larpers would be after Cash’s head when he’s both white and shaven-headed, well the answer to that has long chain in British and American colonial, citizenship, and race laws on the whole, but the short version deals with perception. Purity, or “join or die” mentality for those who fit the mold on paper, and it’s not like the Nazis were s[nein]t-talkers about that either.
Putting the Skinz on the cover of the game’s box art works for shock value if you ask me
After these yo-yos, it’s the Wardogs, a paramilitary group made up of veterans, survivalists, and mercenaries. Pulling from real-world examples, outside of foreign volunteers and conscripts who choose or are forced to fight respectively, mercenaries have never come cheap and paramilitaries typically fight for themselves or the highest bidder, though sometimes they have an ideological goal in mind. Real world paramilitaries include the historical SS and select conscripts fighting for Imperial Japan, and in more recent history there’s the American militia movement from the early 1990s, the Tamil Tigers from the Sri Lankan Civil War, paramilitaries based in the British Isles during the Troubles, some ethnic-based groups from Southeast Asia, notably the Philippines, and numerous others. And I bring up these examples to suggest that the Director has the resources to finance this s[clapperboard]t himself. I’m not crazy enough to watch snuff films and even doing research on them is murky at best, so I don’t know what kind of budget those cinematic horror shows have. Probably not as much as a Hollywood production, but again I’m showing my lack of knowledge.
Following the doomsday preppers are the Innocentz whose name is an apt and disturbing perversion of their patterns of behavior. It should be kept in mind that all criminal organizations are secret societies, but not all secret societies are criminal organizations. In this case, the Innocentz work in tiers each more terrifying than the last from the trademark gangbanger to the thanatistic cult faction to the mentally deficient pedophilic faction, thereby making them the most disturbing enemy in the gang.
And the last round of nasties you fight are the Smileyz, a gang of escaped mental patients who are bizarrely the most vaguely explained faction. They’re not strictly anything, not gangbangers, or white supremacists, or pedophilic cultists; the Wiki makes them out to be the grayest blur in the game.
All things considered, this era of games was churning out edgy and thematically dark games left and right. GTA III and Vice City, Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance, Max Payne 3 and this. The more emboldened developers felt to release edgier video games, the harder the backlash and the more highly praised the games were to the audience no matter the reviews. A not insignificant portion of these fell victim to cult classic status, neither hurting nor helping the sales of the PS2, but certainly adding to that platform’s library all things considered.
Credit: r/gaming, u/veterinarygamer
And the PS2 clearly had an expansive library!
I highly doubt that Midway Games cared very much about their public image since their revenue came mostly from the arcades, but DMA/Rockstar was taking home the lion’s share of the media’s attention. The fact that their philosophy was too downright tease their critics was nothing short of genius. These days, I know better than to engage with trolls and ragebait, but the savviest of creators can farm their critics for karma, and successfully. This is the philosophy of Rev Says Desu, or more historically, circus freak shows.
The IJA’s 7th Division was a circus all its own
Aside from nanny state countries that historically coddle their populace and refuse their people the right to decide for themselves what they do and don’t like, the US of A damn near banned it thanks to the graphic violence. Mortal Kombat would’ve reasonably been written off as fantasy with all the ninjas, sorcerers, soul-stealing wizards (Farewell Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), upright lizards, and whatnot, if it wasn’t for the use of digitized actors and inclusion of blood and finishing moves. For Manhunt and Grand Theft Auto, the fact that these are plausible and can be readily seen by ordinary people away from a computer or TV screen adds to the controversy. No one’s ever seen a fire-summoning ninja throw a grappling hook from his hand, but thanks to the news everyone’s heard of cartels, bank robbers, gangs, and prison escapees.
But even these are classic horror movie tropes. Most of the time, the criminal knows the victim, and most of the time criminals target members of their own communities. The 1 in 10 percent that the media likes to fearmonger over are all rarities. They do still happen but not to the extent that you’d believe.
RNGesus really needs to hate your existence if a guy like this spawns in front of you in the midnight hours.
It’s not like Manhunt is lost on me, the dark atmosphere and easter eggs make it something of a neo-gothic treat, like that time I watched The Addams Family movies and Beetlejuice. But putting it with its contemporaries just makes it a product of the era. As for the gameplay, it’s as strict a stealth game can be, rewarding creativity in sneaking up and killing and punishing any player averse to this gimmick. Not for nothing, it shows that as much of a monster that the Director tries to make Cash out to be (and he’s definitely up there, death row is spared for the worst outside of wrongful convictions), he’s certainly a crafty bastard if you think about it. When there’s 20 of the Skinz or the Innocentz or the Smileys and only one of Cash to go around, your options are limited and outright combat is a last resort.
It certainly demands patience, but can sometimes test your patience. If you’re not careful, the enemy can sense you about to slit them up with a broken piece of glass. Or they can gang up on you with bats or nail guns while all you have are the Kanye West Supreme Brick, your fists, and Philip J. Fry’s lucky seven-leaf clover. Fortunately, the game predates the Ubisoft Assassin’s Creed tailing missions, so there isn’t any worry about having to tail an enemy to a certain location, nor is there a requirement to slice everyone up into lamb chops outside of designated spaces, so you could only cut up a few guys, sneak past the others, get to the goal, rinse and repeat. It might bring down your slasher/snuff film score at the end, but rigid grading systems like this aren’t worth s[grenade]ting your organs out over.
One notable enemy in the game goes by the name of Piggsy. I haven’t reached him yet, but the Director’s use of him as an enforcer when he looks like this:
Definitely harkens to horror movie directors like Wes Craven and Tom Six.
The game and its sequel (which was initially banned in the U.S.) are both available for purchase on Steam, but the game being as old as it is requires some mods to get it working, even if you pirate it from SteamUnlocked. If you’d like to play yourself, consider this guide on the Steam forums if you run into issues like I did.
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