Tag: the legend of zelda

Hentai Games Trio

TiberiusLeave a comment

The chickens came home to roost again

The time has arrived once again to do what I do best and talk about an obscure piece of media with zero problems showing breasts and p[nyan]sy. Last year’s post about High School DxD, Shimoneta, and Monster Musume was a teaser; Valentine’s Day’s post about Scarlet Maiden was a personal introduction to AO/R18+ gaming; Spring’s post about FlipWitch – Forbidden Sex Hex was a continuation; and countless other lewd and raunchy animanga series have been showcased on this blog. This time around, I bring you a trio of hentai video games. Like Scarlet Maiden and FlipWitch, follow the Metroidvania formula in shape and art style with endless travel and backtracking, pixelated graphics, a list of bosses without a discernible order in which to defeat them, and several others. These three games are known as:

  1. Midnight Castle Succubus
  2. Tower and Sword of Succubus, and;
  3. Castle in the Clouds.

I’ll cover them in chronological order in this blog. As usual, I haven’t finished them all 100% but have spent enough time with all of them to get an idea of the least played ones to understand what was being emulated design-wise. Now onto:

The one that loves Castlevania so much that it rubs its sweaty tits all over the original video game cartridge, Midnight Castle Succubus was developed by Pixel Teishoku and Libra Heart and published under the Critical Bliss horny umbrella on September 18, 2020. Its premise is that every century, an evil succubus lays waste to the lands, slaughtering all men (presumably to add them to her army, like another video game character that I know of), and unleashing hordes of horny monsters to kidnap and molest every woman they can find.

Somewhat connected sidenote: I read further along in Redo of Healer (my soul is not safe), and the second princess Norn is shown to be a somehow worse monster than most of the others in the Jioral Kingdom; the succubus by that description makes me think of a toned down Norn.

The protagonist of this venture is a crimson-haired nameless beauty who specializes in the art of the whip. For that, I’ll call her Beatrix. Her mission is essentially defeat the succubus, save the people, rescue the rape victims, don’t get raped herself; that last one happens whenever you die so it follows the FlipWitch variant of combat, but is thankfully more generous with the saves than FlipWitch was, so I can steamroll a level and knock the teeth out of Muscle Fat Ogress, die, come back and not have to worry about losing a trinket I collected along the way because I had the foresight to save prior.

Speaking of trinkets, the game offers quite a handful. Crowns and orbs, for the most part, with throwable weapons for pickup, almost all of which seem to have been airlifted from the 2D side-scrolling Castlevania games. For the characters, Beatrix doesn’t necessarily venture alone. She can recruit a quartet ranging from the mage, the monk, the thief, and the warrior. I have yet to find the mage, and there’s a power up you can grab from a wizard that allows you to be able to summon all four of them at once as opposed to swapping them out one-by-one. Not to mention another power up that lets you use your untapped succubus powers.

I have also yet to unlock this feature in the game and at 80% completion (map traversal notwithstanding), I’m not even done with the game. Classic Castlevania lovers are sure to get a kick out of it and lewd game enjoyers will surely enjoy select loading screens of Beatrix in various scenes of undress along with a handful of the women to save being aggressively passed around by horny orges while the boss protects them in their forced breeding endeavors. If that’s two much for you, the game has a SFW version so you don’t have to worry about innocent eyes rolling out of their sockets from two cubicles over. Now onto:

This game advertises itself as a 3-in-1, but so far I’ve only ever been able to play Tower and Sword. The third game, Succubus Hunter, I haven’t been able to access due to a technical issue with the game’s coding. Maybe this is some kind of odd developer oversight or I need to contact the lord of sex in order to get to work on any one of my machines, but anyway, it came out a month later on October 30, spearheaded by Japanese dev Libra Heart on a solo venture and carried once again by Critical Bliss.

In Tower, a succubus is void of nearly all her powers and needs to traverse a skyscraper, f[squelch]ing and plucking all the way up until she can f[uoggh!]k her lovers to death as the prince of darkness intended.

Taking a page from Scarlet Maiden, the design of this succubus, whom we’ll call Matilda, is that of more pieces of abnormally thick tooth floss covering only the important bits so that I don’t have to put the censors to work (wish I had better ones to use though, since those black squares don’t get paid enough), easily removed so that when it comes to magicking the life force out of a demon’s soul (read: penis), she gets ever stronger. Wait ’til Matilda gets to Level 100 and you’re jizz causes her to grow wings so that she can engage in endless flight. That’s the kind of magic that fuels anti-masturbation propaganda. “No, honey, I wasn’t wanking to that tramp over there! the Demon Matilda stole me seed! You’ve to believe me!!” And that’s how marriages fail. – Friar Maxwell, c. 1584.

I’m not certain if there’s a SFW version, but if there is it’d defeat the purpose of the goal of the game. Put these nun clothes on, dearie, won’t you please think of-wait, sexy nuns are thing, that’s a poor example.

For the second in this functional 2-in-1:

From stealing Alucard’s codpiece to raiding Zelda’s elf-eared panties, comes Sword of Succubus, whereby traversing the world is very dangerous without protection… and a sword. The succubus this time, Yolanda, gains the power of a holy sword by which to defeat the king of the demons. Now, succubi are only creatures, praying on mankind’s sexual temptation, so a being who robs you of your seed through her tits going on to do the same to Lucifer is a bit like Tanya from Mortal Kombat fighting Shinnok.

Hold on…

An MK X arcade run perhaps?

The layout definitely calls out more to Zelda’s first outing as opposed to the Belmonts with the pixelated succubus waving a sword and by way of lucky magical charming powers getting the sword buried deep within her enemies’ pants. That description makes me think of a female Fleece Johnson or !shock! Silvia from the KonoSuba movie.

Tall, dark, beautiful, and capable of penetrating you effortlessly…!

As a white hat succubus of sorts, Yolanda carries in her ginormous tits (also covered by easily-removable tape) life-saving milk that is the source of her immense power. It can be deposited for upgrades or traded between Yolanda and fellow succubi because real recognizes real or in this case breast recognizes breast.

Technically, I’m stuck on the first world, but the way this game is mapped out is a bit weird. It might have been the same as the original Zelda game back in 1986, but I have yet to run that through a ROM, partly because my interest in Zelda is quite limited, having only played Phantom Hourglass some 15 years ago, and Zelda had already come a long way seeing as she’s HD and thicker than a tower of king-size snickers.

The map has different teleportation points to go from one area to another with three different points in the town to a cave to a desert area and that’s the furthest I’m in so far. Different people interact with you with different reactions depending on what you’re wearing or not. The above photo shows Yolanda’s full dress and with enough hits, the thong, nipple tape and sleeves fall off. She’s clearly comfortable fighting naked (and most likely covered in c[hmph!]m after using her charm magic) and can do so quite well until her health drops to zero and you’re greeted with a “Game Over! Try Again!” with her tits in view or her giant ass taking up 40% of the screen. Do they make doors wider to accommodate?

Until I’m able to access Succubus Hunter, I’ll add it to the review list later. Finally, we’ve got:

Those aren’t boobs; those are the earth-movers that Obadiah Stane was developing in Iron Man: Armored Adventures.

Pixel Teishoku and Libra Heart teamed up once again to lead the development of Castle in the Clouds with Critical Bliss coming in clutch for a release date on October 8, 2021. The gameplay is even more fluidic than Midnight Castle Succubus where you can start off running as opposed to unlocking it in that game where Beatrix has an admittedly cute run, like when Senku cured Ruri and the first thing she did was run around:

Channel: Crunchyroll

The protagonist of Castle in the Clouds, Lily (an actual named MC this time), starts off as an agile, nimble fighter, armed again with a whip and all the purchaseable upgrades from MCS being available from the first pixel. Penelope stumbles upon a gang of bandits who molest her at the command of their boss, a coldhearted female bandit we’ll call Rachel. You do get your revenge and then some in a boss battle against her, but as you progress through the game, you gain work as a sex worker. Great! So slaying monsters by day and conquering “monsters” by night.

Lily is a bounty hunter and her main motivation is coin which she hopes to gain by slaying monsters across the world with presumably the same type of whip she uses for her clients. Not that it makes any difference since she can buy more whips from the weapons shop and not just whips (or chains). Swords, scythes, axes, staffs; she’s got access to numerous weapons though she’s still no God of War: Ascension Kratos.

A general has to know how to use all sorts of weapons, you see.

Lily’s quest for coinage explains her agreement to take on sex work on the side and is an interesting side hustle of hers, to say the least. The game apes more from the rest of the 2D Castlevanias whilst combining elements from Metroid and rounding out the whole lewd Metroidvania picture. I explored more of this game than Tower and Sword, but not to the extent of MCS.

With multiple different locales, we probably add Mario 3 to the list of games this game owes money to.

Does this in any mean that the sex scenes are any different? Not really, it’s the same across the board, but there are a few additions that appeal to the teasing aspect so you creative minded gooners have something to look forward to. Plot-wise, it’s not all that different from a mature isekai or a hentai whose plot just so happens to be in an isekai. Lily accepts quests from the guild, takes on the quest, and gets rewarded in coin.

There’s more of the game that I’m missing, but the presentation it gives me at the first hurdle is one worth exploring once I’m done with the others or reach 90% in the others, whichever comes first… and considering the content, the players will c[ooh!]m first.

Looking at all three of these games, let’s ponder for a fact that a woman is the main character of all these games. Agree to disagree on the game over screens being some form of rape of the character by the respective enemy types, only in defeat is the woman helpless and towards the end most of the time, she’s not just in control of the situation but so overpowered, they could become some sort of evil queen with the whips and chains to boot. Let’s one up Spike Spiegel, f[araara]k women who can actually just kill you; lay down the red carpet for the woman who can enslave you.

Channel: Gianni Matragrano

All three of these on Steam are available for $13 each, which is appropriate for obvious reasons. Spend $39 now on all of them or wait for an upcoming sale to knock a few bucks off.

The Nintendo Formula

TiberiusLeave a comment

One of the most consistent formulas since 1985

Before I begin proper, I’m basing this blog post on on-the-fly research and my own observations. Don’t take everything I put here seriously, I am going to be wrong somewhere in here.

Nintendo needs no introduction. There’s a strong percentage that a property belonging to them has come into your possession somehow. Donkey Kong? Mario? Kirby? Pokémon? Pikmin? Maybe it was something more action-oriented like Metroid, or something a bit more obscure with a cult following?

Well, no matter how it started, it almost always goes pretty well for what started as a hanafuda card company. Even the cult classics have devotees of their own. Just try to find someone who doesn’t know about the following:

A little bit of the background: in 1983, the movie E.T. was so popular, it franchised remarkably quickly for a film released at the time. As such, Atari got the million-dollar idea to make a video game out of the property over the course of about five or six weeks. And a lesson we continually forgot even after Sonic ’06 is that games are to NEVER BE RUSHED. Nothing good comes from kicking a game out the door before it’s ready. Like a beef hamburger, you need to cook it thoroughly.

In what became a lesson to burgeoning devs at the time, E.T. for the Atari 2600 went down in history as both the worst video game in all of gaming history and a mass murderer in the video game industry, almost killing it en masse before it got a chance to grow. Developers fell off left and right with how poorly received and sold E.T. was which might as well be an ironic twist of fate. This was E.T., one of Spielberg’s crown jewels, and the aftermath of its failure proved a few things:

  1. If the best of the best can’t take a W, then it certainly lowers morale for most witnesses
  2. Games based on movies would go on to have the worst W/L ratio of all time
  3. Considering Spielberg movie-based games to be released after this, it was for the better that the man quit while he was behind or we would’ve had Saving Private Ryan the game.

And no, I don’t mean World War II games which do work. I mean a game based on this movie above.

The mid-1980s were when the pool of video game developers had shrunk in record time. Then came Nintendo in October of 1985 to save the industry and breathe new life into the industry with a full library of launch titles, unlicensed games, and even to this day homebrew games. In the west, Nintendo became something of a god. They gave us the templates for nearly everything that made for great games, and as the years went on and more and more developers and studios worked with Nintendo to develop games, consoles, or distribute on their platforms, Nintendo has been running home with the gold.

In the modern day, they took the crown from Sega who abandoned console manufacturing in 2001 after the failure of the Dreamcast. Then again, to not sound like a propaganda piece for the Nintendo Empire, they’ve shot themselves in the foot several times. Censorship and a heavy push for a family friendly image turned off some of the more core players in the 1990s and 2000s for a start. Mortal Kombat’s Nintendo ports have been major misses than hits with all the blood, which can be turned off at least in Deadly Alliance, but of all the things to censor in the game, turning the blood to sweat is something I’d expect of a modern day Chinese distribution of Demon Slayer or Spy x Family.

At least Sega had the fans’ backs on this with the blood code.

Another failure was found in several of the consoles they released over the years. The GameCube was meant to be what the Switch is now, a console that can switch between mobile and home functions at will, but it wasn’t to be. The tech wasn’t there yet. By 2006, the Wii launched with high intensity motion controls that proved to be a fad at best and a nuisance at worst. Never mind the fact that Xbox tried it with the Kinect and PlayStation with the Move around the same time; the motion controls mostly worked with things like Wii Sports and other games encouraged to be played with families or with friends at parties and whatnot. Core gamers wouldn’t have been down for that, so third party devs were more likely to work with Xbox and Sony than stick with Nintendo’s wacky rules long term. Props to those who stuck it out though; we got some really creative games out of that.

The biggest one in recent memory was the Wii U, which was either worse than the Wii or better than nothing depending on who you ask. Honestly, the Wii U circled back to issues that plagued other consoles from the 90s, in the sense that the tech was too much and the devs weren’t capable of adapting to this new fangled machinery, hence why the 3DO and Neo Geo sold so poorly and had a tinier library compared to the Great Library that would eventually become modern day Nintendo. Of course, these all had their own hidden gems. Metal Slug anyone?

But the one notable blunder in Nintendo’s history that gets overlooked these days is that they technically created one of their rivals in PlayStation. Sony and Nintendo had worked with each other prior to the mid-1990s and in the lead up to the PSX’s debut console, Sony and Nintendo had been developing a game-changing console that would incorporate early 3D graphics and transition to CD-ROM technology. Unfortunately, Nintendo’s paranoia caused them to renege on an agreement and in a fit of rage, Sony made Sony Computer Entertainment as the ultimate vengeance. Basically, Nintendo is PlayStation’s father.

Despite the decades of video game development under Nintendo’s belt, their flagship series haven’t changed all that much. Even when Donkey Kong and Brooklyn’s least infamous plumber became well-known across the world, the core of their respective games hasn’t really changed since then. For as long as there’s been a Mario, there’s been a princess in another castle. Donkey Kong used to lob barrels at him, but retiring from that put him in the crosshairs of the crocodiles and King K Rule, paid for in part by the United States Marine Corps. If you don’t get that reference, watch this:

Third parties tend to get a pass when developing for a Nintendo console, but their own properties have been on the same script with almost no change whatsoever. Even the spinoffs don’t make much of a difference when they have little impact on story canonicity. I don’t mean the spinoffs from after Mario and Donkey Kong made names for themselves after the original 1981 game.

In another instance revealing how little I play Nintendo games, I can’t recall Mario making mention of saving Pauline from the ape, nor are there any mentions of the plumber dodging Donkey’s barrels. So what, did they have a professional relationship only? Because every spinoff suggests elsewise. For a franchise with 5% story, the spinoffs do a better job at fleshing all the characters out than the main games, so this is Nintendo’s fault for sticking with the same storyboard for almost 40 years.

Tennis, sports, partaking in the Olympics themselves, go-karting; if I fell into a coma and woke up decades later, oblivious to what Mario even is and I got into through one of the spinoffs, I would’ve initially thought they were all good buddies who play games together, which is probably a reference to a Nintendo ad campaign. This all being said, its a formula that works for nearly every Nintendo game. The only one I recall trying something different was Kirby with more enemies to fight, more complex plots at least during the GBA and DS eras, and callbacks to old mechanics or concepts from previous installments. And that pink round thing almost always has a score to settle with Dedede, even if things are different for Forgotten Land.

The crux in my custard here is that if they can throw more ideas at Kirby’s pink mass, then surely Nintendo has what it takes to try something else with some of their other properties. The Zelda series alone has a new idea with each release. Consider how different each Zelda game is from each other. Windwaker, Majora’s Mask, Ocarina of Time, A Link to the Past, and about 4,000 other Zelda games. There’s always variety in the story of Princess Zelda and the mute, canonical femboy.

Zelda’s tastes are exquisite and pristine.

Even if Kirby is owned more by HAL Laboratory, Zelda is a wholly-owned Nintendo property and the ideas trough is always going to that hungry pig while the rest of the zoo animals starve. Maybe it’s due to the way Japan does things (what with most companies being run by old men who loathe change), but it really isn’t gonna hurt them to try something new with the rest of their lineup. Even one-off experiments are worth the effort. No one was really feeling it at the time, but the XCOM hybrid that was Mario and Rabbids was something different. Good? Bad? Don’t ask me, I didn’t play it. But there is gameplay of it in full on YouTube and it stands as the second thing I recommend aside from Nintendo picking a different direction after almost 40 years.

The third recommendation is a YouTube channel called Ryan McBeth.

https://www.youtube.com/@RyanMcBethProgramming/about

Ryan McBeth is a retired US Army platoon sergeant and expert in software engineering and development, cybersecurity, military analysis and open source intelligence. He has a lineup of t-shirts, makes videos and YouTube shorts (and probably also TikTok videos) about the military and battlefield analysis. Ever since the Russian invasion of Ukraine started in February of 2022, he’s made videos about several aspects of the ground operations with some other stuff sprinkled on the side. I highly recommend his channel and as an added bonus, if you have any inquiries on software development or cybersecurity, try reaching out to him for that as well. And to top it all off, with YouTube being what it is regarding censorship, full length explanations and videos can be found on his associated Substack page.