Tag: neon genesis evangelion

Hideaki Anno’s Dark Gundam Franchise

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A long-time coming

My days of binging anime series may be well behind me in my adult years, but to make up for a lot of lost time, I’ve designated an alarm to get me up to speed on some anime I’ve been sleeping on, one of which I wrapped up recently with plans to watch the movie, despite my opinions on some anime movies. Looking at the title of this week’s post, it’s none other than:

Undoubtedly, one of the most famous franchises to debut in the mid-1990s is none other than an anti-war allegory hidden behind skyscraper-sized giant robots wearing the mask of religious mythology. Not the first ever intellectual property to pull this off or do so in amazing fashion, Neon Genesis Evangelion features an adolescent boy and his “friends” whose sole purpose is to pilot giant mechs known as Eva Units or Evas. Each user is psychologically linked to their own Eva Unit, as synchronization with the machines are key. Without uniform synchronization between user and machine, dire consequences arise.

The main plot of the series is quite well-known but for those who haven’t heard of Evangelion or haven’t been able to see it for themselves, in 2015, a decade and change after a cataclysmic event known as the Second Impact, monstrous beings called Angels arise to terrorize what remains of humanity. The force standing in the way of these mindless creatures is a Japanese paramilitary organization known as Nerv, led by Commander Gendo Ikari and a team of advanced scientists, officials, and personnel. One such officer, Misato Katsuragi, is placed in charge of an adolescent pilot, Ikari’s son, Shinji, and her purpose is to train, maintain, and provide for Shinji both as mentor and in many ways as a surrogate mother figure to Shinji.

The stiff Asian parenting trope is strong with Gendo. He’s described as an estranged father with his wife, Yui, dying in an accident before the start of the series, but the word doesn’t do his character very well. He starts off as a mean old cinderblock of a man and as the series progressed, it became evident that his demeanor carries into more than just his relationship with his son. In contrast, Shinji is quite meek at the outset, and his initial handle on his assigned Eva is at best unimpressive and at worst catastrophic, but not for nothing, he’s neither a fool nor a coward. In fact, the best comparison I can dig up is that he’s very similar to Courage the Cowardly Dog.

Screaming his lungs out at the ever-present danger before tackling it with his bear f[dog bark]ing hands

It takes a bit to get his courage up (heh), but once he does, Shinji can do anything. Poor boy just doesn’t see it, and it’s not because he’s a 14-year-old boy. Outside of a Shonen series, if he carried himself the same way Naruto, Luffy, or Ichigo did, then the overall message of self-confidence would be critically undermined.

On that note, an overly confident and foolhardy character exists in the form of a German-Japanese hafu girl known as Asuka Langley Soryu. A teenage girl with all her emotions on her sleeve and all of them as warm and inviting as a gambling den frequented by neo-Nazis. Asuka is not the first inductee in the Tsundere Hall of Fame, but is a prominent one standing in line with those of Lum from Urusei Yatsura, Madoka Ayukawa from Kimagure Orange Road, Taiga from Tora Dora, and countless others ever since and today.

Another victim of personal tragedy, she wears this mask of so-called strength as means to show others that she’s not a lousy pushover and can do everything unaided. Almost like a blind little girl I’ve seen in action who thankfully learns from a retired general about what camaraderie really means…

Overconfident foolhardy trope?

In any case, Asuka knows what she’s doing and why, but hates admitting it out loud. And looking back, I think this is what makes her quite relatable. I personally think “relatable” characters are overblown and overdone, but what makes the angry German girl click for me is that fear of looking vulnerable equates to the fear of looking worthless or interruptive. If you’re not one for tsunderes, it’s worth seeing Asuka in action for at least a few minutes, alone or with the rest of the cast, not the least of which involves a character she not only comes to blows with but one who doesn’t really entertain her antics most of the time.

Rei Ayanami has a lot of character traits in line with Mikoto Urabe from Mysterious Girlfriend X, though void of the eccentricities of Urabe. AFAIK, she doesn’t have a floodgate for a mouth, though some weirdo is probably gonna make that a reality if it hasn’t been done by now. Rei is a perplexing, enigmatic character, the pilot of the Eva Unit-00 and something of a science experiment the way she interacts with all the other characters, though most of her interaction is with Shinji, Asuka, and the few classmates they speak to in between.

There’s many implications that she’s a kuudere character and looking at what came before and after, I can see it. What is shown of her personality is that it takes more to get under her skin unlike Asuka. Cold, standoffish, aloof; but dedicated, motivated, questionless and complaint-free. And in some unique cases, blunt. Almost too blunt for comfort.

As for the handler of these child soldiers, Captain Misato Katsuragi is assuredly a hot mess, by which I mean smoking hot and living in and like a goddamn mess. Early tragedies, self-destructive habits, a light-switch relationship with a former colleague named Ryoji Kaji, and a MIGHTY NEED to feel loved in some capacity. Platonically, romantically, sexually; she longs for a human connection but she’s so s[car crash]t at establishing and maintaining it, that from the outside looking in, you could assume she does it to herself for thrill’s sake and you’d be partly right. Deep down though, examining her tastes and the rest of her life reveals why this seems so untenable for her. Gonna have to cut deep for this one, she reminds me of what I’ve seen of children with divorced or absentee parents. As in, she could do so much better for herself if her taste in men wasn’t so apocalyptic. Her taste is bitter and no amount of Yebisu beer can numb it.

Flaws aside, she’s not a terrible person. She means and does well by her disciples and what she doesn’t have in self-discipline, she makes up for it as caregiver to the wonderful trio. You could call it hypocritical for the problem children to take a wide berth with her after hours, but all of their problems aside, they all know they can do better and they (and myself) all wish she could also do better. This is where you’d have to make the distinction between criticism and hard judgment.

I’m still quite new to this entire franchise, as I recently wrapped up the anime series which I viewed on Netflix and I have plans to view the End of Evangelion movie, and look for the rebuild series through my usual piratical channels. So rather than tie a bow on the franchise as a whole (which would make this post a lot longer than what I have in mind), I think I’m gonna have a look at the central themes that I’ve been eyeing up. A dark series using religious mythology to tell its story with heavy biblical/mythological undertones.

I haven’t been to a formal house of worship for its sole purpose of worship at all in my life, save for accompanying practicing Catholic trainees to Church services during Basic Training, but even without thumbing through all the books of the Old and New Testaments in Catholicism, anyone can pick up on the religious undertones. The Angels have initially been described with inhumanly, grotesque works of art for their physical forms rather than their innocuous and inviting descriptions. This description is meant to ward off evil. Conversely, evil and satanic forces are typically described in a lot of Christian mythology as deceptively gorgeous, any depiction of the Devil notwithstanding as a means to steer humanity toward the course of short-term indulgence with long-term devastation yet to come. Temptation over morality, quickfire relief over long-term realization and moderation.

Looking at these key elements in NGE, we can see the series test everyone’s personal characters. Some pass with flying colors and others fail terribly, but not conclusively or it doesn’t lead to the end of the world for them. They fell out of a tree, but can still get back up, intact or limping to the hospital to get patched up. Hell, these characters didn’t enter the world cleanly, nor did they enter with hopes of terrible failure. Clashes, conflicts, and crises of the mind abound, but the unifying factor is the same one our caveman ancestors had when their grunts were gradually replaced with semi-recognizable ancient languages and dialects: survival. Human survival has always been and always will be. The dire need to boost survival in ages where crisis and chaos are law is the binding factor for all humanity, no matter who or what the threat is.

For NGE, the world couldn’t look more destroyed if it looked like the Earth from the mid-2000s’ series Skyland.

This show was one hell of a science fiction introduction to me.

Speaking of global catastrophe, take a close look at when the series debuted: October 1995, and Gainax and Tatsunoko Production licensed Anno’s brainchild to air for twenty-six episodes, the final one airing in March 1996. The mid-to-late 1990s was a halcyon era for when anxiety concerning Y2K was ripe. What would happen when we had to date our documents as 20XX instead of 19XX like we had for generations? What would become of the Internet? Would it live or lose its viability? Seems absurd to worry about this in 2026, but if you go back 30 years and played a slideshow of what the Internet would be in three decades, you might be unfavorably compared to Ted Kaczynski. Fears over the reach and influence of a brand-new technological advancement are a time-honored tradition–we behaved like this when books were being written and copied at a faster pace with the Gutenberg printing press, American slavers were about to wrestle with the question of the institution until Eli Whitney’s gin dashed that question away, the world wasn’t sure of the fate of horses once the automobile debuted and evolved, and in this day and age, creative types (myself included) ponder what will happen with artificial intelligence perfecting itself at a breakneck, Sonic the Hedgehog pace.

New tech is always gonna emerge and we’re never gonna stop looking at it with cautious curiosity. For Anno, his series is ripe for its time, even if the futuristic sci-fi elements fall into the trope of overimagining the 21st century. 20XX doesn’t automatically mean flying cars and The Jetsons overnight; that s[zip]t is gradual, incremental. So, Eva Units the size of miniature Chrysler Towers is the thing I call bulls[train siren]t on the most. Even with Angels that look like this.

Still, this is Hideaki Anno’s brilliance in real-time so why judge a cook in the kitchen?

Ironically, this meme doesn’t spoil as much of the plot as it alludes to–just a single scene late anime.

The final piece in this Eva-shaped puzzle is the fanbase. 30 years strong and this franchise still has a dedicated fanbase memeing and taking the piss out of different story beats and characters, albeit crudely and perversely at times. A lot of them also spoil different parts of the plots of the anime, manga, movies, or the Rebuild series, so being in the know is a bit like being a part of the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fandom, but unlike JoJo’s, individual scenes can’t really be taken out of context, so there isn’t a chance to see the Evangelion equivalent of Tequila Joseph in the wild.

Countless memes and such have sprung from this series, and one of my favorites that’s used as a reaction image is this:

She has never seen such bulls[!NEIN!]t before.

For what it’s worth though, at least the fanbase realizes there’s more to the series than giant robots saving the world. As I said, there’s a lot more (a LOT more) to the franchise that I have yet to dive deeper into. My timeline may delay a few posts in the future depending on what’s in store for me, but once the schedule gets back to being boringly predictable, I may be able to squeeze the rest of the franchise in somewhere for review. For NGE the TV series and the movie End of Evangelion, both are on Netflix for paying customers and on every pirate site for ne’er-do-wells law-abiding internet denizens.

I wasn’t here.

Anime I’ve Watched

Tiberius2 Comments

Equally a lot and not enough

Getting back to the end of year wrap up of content, I’ve definitely watched more anime this year in between my regular duties in the Army. A lot of what I’ve been watching this year has been stuff I’ve written about on this blog yonks ago, but also some new stuff that can (and probably should get) their own posts, but this being a speedrun like before I shipped out to Fort Lost in the Woods for training is gonna be a brief overview of some stuff I got a look at this year, but didn’t necessarily finish. I may add more to the watch times of these respectively and give them the reviews that they deserve, but I’m probably gonna do what I normally do and play it by ear. Here’s the anime lineup:

  1. Texhnolyze
  2. Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
  3. Clevatess
  4. Frieren
  5. Neon Genesis Evangelion

With a bonus. If you were to ask me if it was anime, it falls under “Yesn’t.” It’s based off a manga and has an anime adaptation that is currently four seasons in, but it’s doing something different.

Normally, this doesn’t always work even with a Japanese cast, but the short version of my upcoming opinion is, “Yes, please.”

Now to the list, starting off with:

Story time: in the first half of advanced individual training to be a 25H commo troop, we had a student leadership, selected by the drill sergeants based on the presentation that the trainees gave during a Soldier of the Month board. For those who don’t know, these boards are a series of questions given to the soldier (or servicemember since every branch does this) to test their knowledge and proficiency on a given subject. They mainly boil down to memorization. The student leads we had at the time seem to have convinced the cadre to use Discord of all platforms to mass communicate important information. But the logic behind it is solid. Wish I were a fly on the wall to see how it unfolded.

I’ve long since left the Discord server, but I recall one of the chats had an anime recommendation chat and one of them had a link to a series called Texhnolyze. I saved it thinking I would get to it immediately and only recently did I start watching it. With a name like that (certainly a tough one to pronounce out loud since X and H don’t normally meet in English), coupled wit the fact that the YouTube channel associated with it is still up, it belongs to the shortlist of things I can search up and still find on YT intact, but with some series falling victim to this Death Note of a blog when I bring them up, sometimes it’s a matter of time or whether bad luck notifies the YT copyright system and takes it down. Thankfully, Taiho Shichauzo is still up, so I still have access to my buddy cop fun times.

Calling Texhnolyze unique is only gently rubbing the surface, never mind a scratch. The description Google gives me reminds me of the Blade Runner: Black Lotus anime produced by Crunchyroll and distributed for weekly airing on Toonami in late 2021.

And now that I think about it, it makes me think of a bunch of other sci-fi, cyberpunk anime we’ve been getting over the years

There isn’t much to glean from just the first two episodes, but from what I recall, the society within features the protagonist, Ichise, a downtrodden prize fighter past his prime, losing his limbs and getting rebuilt $60 million man style. The setting is an underground city known as Lux, a crumbling city-state under which three main factions vie for power over what remains. Something, something, undesirable soldiers fighting for least desirable piece of real estate, only it’s not a base in the middle of a box canyon no one cares about.

I promise I’m not trying to be harsh here

Running from April 17 to September 25, 2003 for 22 episodes, I don’t wanna critique it based on originality considering a lot of my favorite things aren’t the most original or necessarily universally loved things in the world, but more with what came before, concurrently and after. Ghost in the Shell for instance debuted its manga in 1989 and has become a franchise ever since, with a 1995 movie (and 2008 redo with touchups); Neon Genesis Evangelion debuted in 1994 and has also spawned a franchise, spearheaded by Hideaki Anno who still leads the project to this day; and I had already mentioned Cyberpunk in this blog, so I’ll beat that horse when I have more to say.

On its own merits, Texhnolyze seems to have a few things going for it, but merely falling into obscure reference, cult classic status. As a result, it’s up my alley. Let’s describe it a little: a future dystopia where humans have cybernetic enhancements to answer for physical shortfalls, battling between wide corruption and complicated power struggles. That’s vague enough to describe Texhnolyze and 2018’s Megalo Box, which interestingly looks like it was animated in 1997 and due to a bevy of legal hoops and hurdles wasn’t able to air until over 20 years later.

This series is said to pay homage to Ashita no Joe and Hajime no Ippo, but I suspect the animation team had at least one Texhnolyze fan onboard

The 22 episodes are still up for viewing as of this writing and I had saved the playlist in 2024 so I know where to go without having to close a pop-up ad every three seconds and so do you.

Channel: Parham

If the channel disappears, you know what I’m gonna say. And since I mentioned Ghost in the Shell earlier:

  • Major Kusanagi looks different from the 1995 movie here

This might be a bit harsher than I intend it to, given I’ve seen the movie at least three times and have had to retreat to Google-sama to get an understanding of what the hell it’s about. But in general, a cybernetic officer in a futuristic Tokyo is tasked with apprehending an entity who goes by the name of the Puppet Master, an advanced AI with the power to Worm and Trojan Horse itself into nearly any vulnerable computerized device to include humans with mechanical enhancements and this description alone may not do it justice.

The manga debuted in 1989, the movie in ’95, and Stand Alone Complex in 2002. It does raise a lot of biting, complicated questions over AI and technology’s advancement over time, though with my limited viewing of the series (four episodes on Tubi before Toonami snatched it back up after many years pimping it out to streaming services), while it scratches the itch I didn’t know I needed scratched, like Texhnolyze before it I’m only just getting started, but unlike Texhnolyze, it’s had decades to cook and it isn’t as straightforward as most other series of its caliber. The mangaka Masamune Shirow may not have realized what he’d unleash when he first put pen to manga panel, but with what it’s become ever since the movie, anyone getting into the franchise has a hell of a lot homework to do.

I’m going to be light on spoilers as I have a more in-depth review scheduled to be drafted and published in February, so until then I have more of it to watch. Take this as a light recommendation until then. Also, the content of this series and Serial Experiments Lain may reinforce Trunks’ biases against androids.

Channel: ImmaVegeta

Better get the boy an iPhone for Christmas

  • Fantasy world but the monster and the protagonist become an impromptu family

An interesting one that Crunchyroll was promoting at the time by letting you binge it in one sitting. I loathe binge-watching and forever hold the practice over Netflix’s shoulders, but I think for 2026, I’ll have to loosen that up a little. The series starts off with the protagonist’s party setting out to destroy a beast known as Clevatess, not knowing how royally f[clashing]ked they are until they all drop dead. Clevatess, the monster happens across a baby of noble birth that belonged to a royal family under threat from a rival kingdom and adopts the baby while also reviving one of the heroes to forever live as a zombie of sorts, but using many of the same principles that affected Bucciarati in the second half of Vento Aureo, sans the slow deterioration and lack of pain receptors.

If you’re curious what would drive a bloodthirsty beast to take on the role of a step-parent to an orphaned infant, well, the situation is equally a bet from the baby’s mother, and a test of humanity. Clevatess isn’t the only beast in the world; others like him are also out and about. The zombie female MC was among a group of 13 heroes sent to dispose of Clevatess and the rest, but ultimately struggled at the first hurdle. Following their demise, Clevatess was approached by the mortally wounded mother of the royal baby who had requested he spare humanity starting with the infant. If Clevatess could successfully raise the infant then humanity would be spared, but if not, then mass extinction imminent.

Some may draw unfavorable comparisons to Overlord, and I dispute that so heavily because the comparison is false. Yes, Clevatess and Momonga/Ainz adventure and aid with strict conditions, but Ainz is basically fantasy RPG Genghis Khan. Clevatess is a dark being hellbent on destruction. Even if the source material shows Clevatess leaning Overlord-like down the line, I’m not so certain I wanna give it the copycat flag just yet. Not for nothing, it flips a few tropes on their head where the bad guy becomes the caretaker, though I wonder just how old that trope is. These days, you can find it if you search hard enough, but looking for older examples is a struggle.

The manga debuted online in Japan on the LINE platform in the summer of 2020, so the anime was the only way I ever knew about it. Having said that though, for what it has going for it, it needs more episodes because 12 isn’t enough to give it the leg room it needs.

  • Elves don’t change like humans do

It kicked off in 2023 and had been memed all over the internet even to this day. The most prominent memes being, Ubel being a morally ambiguous mage with… lickable armpits… (ಠ_ಠ), Fern and Stark f[explosion!]k so much that Frieren could leave and come back to greet a litter of their children, and Frieren herself is a god-tier racist, on par with LowTierGod.

Demons beware

Admittedly the memes are far as hell in the animanga and I’m only a couple of episodes in. Aside from these three jokes, the plot is an after story. It’s a DnD campaign that wrapped and the heroes are getting used to peace after the evil entity had been defeated once and for all. Frieren the mage, Himmel the hero, Heiter, and others among the party all go on their separate ways while remaining friends. The one thing that gets to Frieren herself is her elven lifespan compared to that of humans. 50 years pass and Himmel is a frail old man while Frieren, due to her elven species, hasn’t aged a day.

This doesn’t bear on Frieren’s shoulders until Himmel passes away from old age and the elven mage regrets not having gotten to connect with him better. Over the course of the series, the characters, even in their new chapters in their lives, remember Himmel the hero by what he did and how he lived. Each person who remembers him has a lot to say and all of them are positive and uplifting. Of course, the heroes, having known him personally, have more personally ridiculous and intimate stories with him. This goes on throughout the series and Netflix currently has it in its line up so give it a watch if you don’t feel like pirating it. I’d talk more about what I’d observe, but in this instance, I think it’s better when you watch it for yourself.

  • Don’t make me ask twice! !GET IN THE ROBOT, SHINJI!

A staple in the mecha/gundam genre, NGE very much alludes to Christian mythos with the angels harkening to their biblically accurate appearances. There’s a lot to say about Evangelion, it’s movies, and the Rebuild sequel movie series, but this is another one I have slated for a 2026 review.

The main crux of the series is not “Wow, cool robot,” like most of its contemporaries. It’s a combination of peace of mind through acceptance of oneself and clever critique of the military use of children for dangerous experiments. Also the theme of personal loss in juxtaposition with self-acceptance. Roughly every character is fundamentally broken and the fact that much of the cast consists of 14-year-old mech suit pilots, Anno is a weird guy, alright, if this is the proof in the pudding.

What has people continuously talking about it for 30 years strong is the memes, of which there are many. You can have some of your favorites (my personal ones involving Asuka in some capacity), but the one thing to note is that unlike a lot of fandoms, I think the Eva fandom I’ve seen is one of the few to actually read its source material and understand it without issue. This puts it above some of the other series to air concurrently and down the line where the bombastic, earth-position-influencing combat is the sole or central focus of a series. It technically disguises itself as an allegory for depression through Christian mythology, but Hideaki Anno won’t admit that.

Like Frieren, it’s also on Netflix and so is the movie, End of Evanglion. I so far am wrapping up the anime, but I haven’t touched the movie yet. And speaking of movies:

  • Even more Ainu cooking, but for real

So Satoru Noda began writing the manga in 2014 and the anime adaptation followed four years later. After that came this live action movie in 2024 and a continuation in a second season … Hmmm… The live action version of Golden Kamuy does well to capture the humorous elements of the manga while staying true to the practical elements. It isn’t 1:1 for obvious reasons but this was completely unexpected. A surprise to be sure but a welcome one. I had talked about Golden Kamuy before, so a run down of the salient points are everyone knows of the legend of the Ainu gold, the map to the treasure is tattooed on a group of eccentric Abashiri prisoners, and death is the only thing stopping everyone from using the gold for their own purposes. A race to near-infinite wealth of sorts…

Yeah, I went there.

I only give it high marks because I love the series so much, so as much as I recommend the movie and live-action series, consider that this part of the blog is a bit more subjective than normal since I consider myself part of the target audience for something like this.

My Best Girls 3×3

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Inter-holiday shenanigans

Once again, I open the door to personal opinions, not about a particular series, but on a series of characters who’ve won me over. Observe!

From left to right going down, we have Kagura, Konata, Izumi, Miyuki Kobayakawa, Asa Mitaka, Lady Rias Gremory, Minami Fuyuki, Tohka Yatogami, Anna Nishikinomiya, and Asuka Langley Soryu. There’s a runner-up who doesn’t fit into a 3×3 and would thus make this into a Top 10 List. I’ll introduce her at the end, so while you’re reading this, have fun guessing who the tenth inductee is. Here’s a hint: she’s covered head-to-toe in scars.

Now the breakdown:

Kagura (Azumanga Daioh) 2002

Physically, Kagura has what I like most: tan, tomboy, athletic. Personality-wise, she proves that she deserves to be a knucklehead alongside Tomo and Osaka, as their combined IQs makes up a toddler’s smallest shoe size. But with the three of them getting one-shotted by Stephen Hawking before he has time to think, what does Kagura bring out that I like so much? She’s not a bad sport and a good friend. Not the most effective at times, but she’s got the spirit to help out. Definitely the energy to; on a scale of Osaka to Tomo with Osaka being low-speed and Tomo being Speed Racer, Kagura is a NASCAR driver: she can get her engines primed and ready, but knows better than to overload them.

She’s also more introspective and self-aware than that other scoundrel she spends time with.

Credit: u/crawllinback2you1, r/azudaioh

Kagura’s moments of brilliance and reliability come from helping her friends for the most part. My favorite has to come from when Sakaki was in danger once again from the alley fiend Kamineko until Kagura applied a tender touch. Yay! Only to go overboard and antagonize the rest of the harmless kittens. Damn… Well, her heart was in the right place. Also, r/azudaioh, and r/AzumangaPosting are the two golden sources of Azumanga memes. Only the fanbase could carry a 20-year-old 4-panel series to newer heights, further bolstered by Kiyohiko Azuma’s impeccable comedic style.

Kagura > Tomo. Signed, a Kagura enjoyer.

Now, onto Dollar Store Haruhi Suzumiya:

Konata Izumi (Lucky Star) 2007

The Suzumiya thing ain’t a joke, it’s the focal point of one of the OVAs. She’s the otaku that would take over any other series where being an otaku is what it’s all about, like, say, Genshiken. Lucky Star is a show that is about three things: jack f[door slams]king shit. The characters talk about nothing important, they’re not fantastical; they’re you and me. They do regular things that we all do, and ask all the important questions our society dares not answer: How do you eat a chocolate cornet?

Channel: Crunchyroll Dubs

It’s a good time all around.

I would never say that Konata is the main element in Lucky Star because that’s not true. The entire cast shines mainly by bouncing off of each other quite well, but what makes Konata my favorite is that she’s so chill. She has few worries, doesn’t do well academically, but could give you all the anime recs you could ever ask for, some of which may come from her own dad’s collection, and that last part I personally find relatable. My mom was a young adult when Dragon Ball came to the west and my late uncle grew up with Speed Racer. Like Konata, I’m a born weeb. It was the only path I could walk on. And the one thing the series shares with Azumanga Daioh is that the fanbase is also carrying it to new heights.

Credit: baalbuddy

Merciful heavens! What a crossover!

Number 3:

Miyuki Kobayakawa (You’re Under Arrest) 1994-97; 2007-08

Before we dissect Officer Kobayakawa as a character, I want to spend a few moments analyzing the character design. She doesn’t stand out as much visually compared to Tsujimoto or Nikaido or even Nakajima when they’re all in uniform, but the few scenes where she’s off-duty, she’s a very stylish woman. Her outfits are simple, practical, and efficient. They match her kind and book-smart personality. Kobayakawa doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve like her wingwoman Tsujimoto; if Tsujimoto is the brawn, Kobayakawa is absolutely the brains.

An intellectual with impeccable observational skills, she’s a great policewoman and a great friend to all her co-workers. Now if she could just tell Nakajima how she feels already.

The entire precinct wants to greenlight their wedding ceremony already, they’re just maddeningly patient for their own good.

Numbuh 4:

Asa Mitaka (Chainsaw Man) 2018*

*The manga debuted in 2018, and MAPPA is supposed to be animating the second season… Gotta wait and see what the cooks are cooking.

I’ll be honest, I originally wasn’t that sold on Chainsaw Man as seen by this post I made last year. I still stand by my opinions that it’s what Black Torch could’ve been if it hugged the dark atmosphere tighter than a fussy mom, but learning at the time what was the craziest moment in the manga (later surpassed because Fujimoto’s life is Anti-chill), I decided to continue the manga from where the anime left off and my original assessment might not have been as fair. It still reeks of Black Torch’s ashes, but its still in serialization.

Maybe next time, Takaki-san…

Asa stars in the second part of the manga after spoilers. Wants to be seen as regular, but her own mindset gets in the way. Things happen after an encounter with the Justice Devil. Asa is possessed by the War Devil, who talks to her through hallucinations, and grants her the ability to make a weapon out of anything she touches. So far, I interpret that as “anything” not “anyone” due in part to this moment in the manga:

Yoru is probably dumber than we think.

I’m still playing catch-ups with the manga, so I’m not sure how much more Asa has learned of her abilities. For her personality, ignoring all the autistic femcel memes (hilarious as they are), Asa’s complicated but like any naïve youngster, she can’t help but be a slave to her own assumptions, about herself, about her peers, about Denji and the rest of the cast. You could brush the rest of humanity over with this paintbrush of sorts, but personally the phrase “stranger things have happened” would be a good one for her to learn.

And she does show a willingness to learn, even if her teachers and mentors are all s[seagull calls]t. Not just that their teachings are bad, but more so that some of the best lessons she takes come from general assholes. Something something, do as I say, not as I do moments. Blah blah blah…

If it sounds like I’m being light on her compared to another character, well she really can’t help but be a dumb, inexperienced kid. The Chainsaw Man world may be Satan’s best joke, but it’s still worth exploring more than just her corner of Japan. Hell, some wacky omake or OVA could put her and Denji in Hawaii or something. For what I like most about her, her arc is an interesting one to watch. From easy-pickings to “I wasn’t asking,” coupled with Yoru the built-in double act since Denji, Nayuta, and Fami aren’t always available to annoy her.

The middle one goes last. The real 5th one:

Minami Fuyuki (Hokkaido Gals are Super Adorable) 2024

The gyaru front is bringing us several surprises, and it seems to have been doing so for quite some time. I’ve talked about gyaru animanga before, and I’m destined to continue to do so for as long as we get more and more series. I don’t remember what attracted me to Hokkaido Gals, but I’m certain it was either 2022 or ’23 as I was halfway through the manga by the time the anime was announced.

Fuyuki may be the face of the series, and I definitely see the appeal of Sayuri and Natsukawa-senpai. But what I really like about Fuyuki is that she has such an attractive personality. She’s fun to be around, a kind, party girl who likes fashion and her native Hokkaido climate. She’s no genius, but like Kagura she has her heart in the right place. Also the dub gave her a Minnesotan accent that blew me backwards at first, but grew on me. I’m pretty sure most anime do this to emphasize different Japanese accents and dialects to unfamiliar ears (see Ayumu “Osaka” Kasuga for more details), but if you ask me, the “rural/hick” label is thrown around too broadly. I don’t know if Japan does it themselves or if the localizers do, but anyone who’s not from Tokyo or Kyoto automatically gets the equivalent of a funny cowboy accent for some reason. Guess it’ll make sense when I’m reincarnated as a Kansan, but what can you do?

The sixth:

Tohka Yatogami (Date a Live) 2013-24

Official art could’ve been used, but this Nendoroid caught my eye and was too adorable to ignore.

One of the many faces of the series itself, Tohka was the first spirit introduced from the spatial quakes and the one that holds onto Shido probably tighter and for longer than the other girls. She’s got the strength of 15 buffalo and the personality of a puppy. Happy Tohka lights the room, sad Tohka plunges it into vantablack, angry Tohka gives us the world from the mid-2000s animation Skyland; she’s also on the ditzy side admittedly, but she doesn’t carry a lot ill will in her heart. Looking back now, she makes me think of Shikimori from her series. 10/10, ready to throw down for her man, perhaps even save him from getting Isekai’d. Beware her strength though, the girl could bench press Fukuoka Tower without limits.

七番目：

Anna Nishikinomiya (Shimoneta) 2015

I held back on the crazy waifus by flooding this one with girls that you could hang out and be best buds with before getting a chance to romance them (thus it is the correct way to do things). But here, I’ll give out a yandere.

Anna Nishikinomiya is the Student Council President, so pure of heart, she can’t see anything wrong with a lewd painting of a woman with a toadstool in between her perky boobs. One day, she is accidentally kissed, and develops a MIGHTY NEED to milk Tanukichi dry and empty.

If it wasn’t for Tanukichi’s support system of daring and curious classmates, he would’ve been toast.

Anna would be on a sex offender registry in another world with a bevy of sex-related crimes under her belt. Maybe in jail she continually obsesses over Tanukichi, busts herself out, and goes on a manhunt for Tanukichi’s treasured meat. And if it sounds like I’m joking, consider that she’s got the added bonus of athleticism and youth. Being a high school student means her body has yet to betray her due to the passage of time.

After not thinking about the series for years, I initially would’ve tried to drive her back as though I was shielding myself with a crucifix in the face of a vampire. But looking back, for therapy’s sake, poor Anna needs to f[aanh!]k for public health and safety. Forget protecting her from danger; Tanukichi and admittedly a majority of the whole student body needs protection from her, especially the girls. She nearly surgically removed Ayame’s jugular with her eyes clothes, heaven protect the girl who accidentally bumps into him. That’s a funeral no parent wants to fund.

As for her pursuits, well, she’s so thirsty, Tanukichi’s bodily fluids are her new favorite drink. She’s so horny, Aphrodite wants her to calm down. She has a built-in Tanukichi seeker that zeroes in on him from anywhere in the world. Cursed to conflate love with lust, she could use a talk about consent, perhaps hidden behind a video about tea. She’s a highlight in the series and a great example of why policing morality is bad. I’m not sure if Ayame’s method of speaking in lewd is a better alternative, but if we’re using measuring sticks, Ayame’s much tamer and she won’t stop ’til everyone’s vocabulary is unfiltered… or at least adjusted to reflect how people would actually talk if not societally enforced to walk on eggshells. I don’t like to use this, but we’ll have to consult Saki Kasukabe.

Maybe it’s the way I was raised or what I’ve been led to believe, but even talking about intimate things in mixed company is too much for me. Maybe it’ll change?

Acht:

Asuka Langley Soryu (Neon Genesis Evangelion) 1995-96

The tsundere to the stars, the one who kicks Shinji because she believes every man should be manly (when he’s in a “born to malewife, forced to Shonen MC” situation), this hafu representation of two of the Axis powers is broken psychologically.

Credit: Khyleri

r/EvangelionMemes is too strong sometimes.

Asuka Langley Soryu started out as the newest member of the team, and she’s sassy, brash, determined to be the best like no one ever was, and probably (read: definitely) wants to be dominated. I wouldn’t harp like an angel, but the more she bullies Shinji, the more I get the feeling that she wants him to slap her. Toxic? Kinky? Attention-seeking? Well, I say it’s a mix of all three. The Evangelion-themed forums have been debating that for about 30 years (yes, the 1990s are now 30 years ago people) and I’ll leave it to you to decide what’s right because either Hideaki Anno is really tight-lipped or no one is taking him seriously despite creating the f[explosion]king franchise in the first place, goddammit.

Whatever the case, Asuka’s cuter when she’s trying to impress Shinji. There aren’t a lot of moments of that and I really wish there were. If they were better at communication, then maybe the AsuShin crowd would get their vindication. Stick it to all the other shippers in the process. Then again, the series’ setting doesn’t allow for such a thing. The situation is so dire, we need kids to pilot mechas and destroy angels like this.

Biblically accurate angels.

The saddest part about Eva is that the average person didn’t understand that it was an anti-war series. I’m not into mecha and I can see that.

Now the best for last. The darling heiress to the House of Gremory, represented by the Chess king piece, she begins with a harem and then joins one herself, sweet as candy, kindest devil in all of hell, ladies and gentlemen give it up for Rias Gremory!!!

She walked past him, enswathed by her vermilion hair. She glanced at him on the ground and returned a smile and a wink, then continued on towards the school building. The crimson-haired beauty with the teal eyes was known as Rias Gremory. The most beautiful girl in the school, with the most attractive personality. She’s kind and heartwarming, welcoming any newcomers to the Occult Research Club with open arms, even the pervert who was caught ogling her earlier: Issei Hyodo.

Not my best writing, but I think it gets my point across: Rias Gremory is a good woman and an ideal partner. Being the face of a series that uses tits the same way Mario uses mushrooms, her moments of “Issei’s so cute/undress me, you son of a-” are normally saved for downtime. But it still makes an important part of the plot at ridiculous times. I’ll never forget when in the anime, Issei was made the star of a children’s program because the entire gimmick was touching boobs gave him a power-up. Let him cop a feel and all of a sudden he’s Popeye.

Rias isn’t just a pretty face and nice body. She’s kind, she’s caring, she’s considerate, and she’s cute when she gets jealous that the other girls have an interest in Issei. She’s also mature enough to negotiate with the other girls in this matter. And the most logical conclusion is to share him with Asia. Even the queen has her moments, and that’s why Rias is my Number 1.

As for the tenth who couldn’t fit into this 3×3, if you’ve exhausted your time trying to narrow it down, you may now rest. It’s Balalaika from Black Lagoon.

I’m gonna say it. Balalaika is much better than Revy.

So that’s my 3×3 as of the end of 2024, maybe I’ll update it for 2025, there’s more anime coming out next year, so the well’s never dry.